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PICKED UP "DOLL" OF A HITCHIKER IN TEXAS
July 17, 2005
8:14 pm
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clayrains
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I'll try to keep this brief initially and let you all ask the questions as we go.

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS TRUE!

ME:

I am a 34-year-old guy. I'm quite attractive. I'm a very intelligent and creative, yet VERY imperfect follower of Christ.

SITUATION:

I was visiting a good male friend in Corpus Christi, Texas this past week. I wanted to go to Mexico again as I had the past 3 times I'd visited him. I decided not to. I instead loafed at his house and went to the beach, checking out women. I want to move to Austin because I want to become a successful live musician. I visited Austin
prior to travelling further south to Corpus this week. I planned to drop back by but didn't and decided to hit the beach the last day.

I loafed around and didn't get down toward the beach until just before dark. I spotted a young female hitchiker on the two-lane, just about 2 miles from the beach.

I hit my brakes, hesitated, but was too late. I went on. I couldn't live if I didn't go back. She appeared really hot. I doubled back (ZZ Top/Texas hehe) And she was no longer standing in one spot with her thumb out, just walking with her back turned.

Now, I HAD to stop for the poor girl and I mean it. I passed her up by a couple dozen yards, watching her intermittenly as she walked up to my car. She was really __cking beautiful. "Do you need help?", I said. I thought "Mexican?" She said "Oh I'm een SO moach troble" She said "You speak aspanitsh?" I say "Quite a bit?" She then said "Oh you speak ohRussian?" I said "Not too much!" I said "I speak English and you seem to be doing fine, where do you need to go?" She then proceeded to tell me she was her as a student from Russia for about three weeks I think and that she "got in quarrel with friends." I asked how far she needed to go. She said something about South Padre. I asked if she meant South Padre, as in way down south by Brownsville. She seemed to be saying just 8 miles or so on South Padre proper. I said "Sure get in!"

She said something like thank you so much "I been walking for 7 or 8 miles trying to apply for job at Sharky's then I quarrel with friends." I said I found that hard to beleive. She shot me a sly sidewinder smile. She said, and I quote" I'm just poor leetle Roashon gearl." My foot instantly began to shake profusely against the accelerator. From the time she got in to the time we got to the little 1/4 mile access road to "my" beach was about a minute or three I think.

She then said "Oh you need to go to beach?" With my mind raising, I said that I had enough daylight to wait till I got to the nearest South Padre access after I dropped her off, and she said she'd show me. It was right by her motel.

Skipping a shitload of important details...

We ended up having a platonic date eating hot pizza on a dark, hot, humid, nearly deserted beach. I took her back to the front door of her hotel at 10:45-47 P.M. I pretty quickly hugged her across the arm rest. I never got out) She was like "What is this, what are you doing/Oh is this what an American hug is like/All smiles. We and we exchanged emails (you can't fucking have it) She then held out her hand and gave me this verticle high five (wierd) before she said she would write and that she never breaks a promise. I said ok that I'd write too. Neither of us discussed who would write first did we?

Anyway, what do you think? How about this?: Earlier, she told me she had an Aunt she planned to visit in Saint Louis, Missouri that is, about 300 miles away before she went to Russia. I don't know when she's going back to Saint Petersburg but I think it could be Three weeks to never. But she seemed hell bent on coming back within a few months. Hell I have no idea were she is.

How does this (TRUE) story rank on a scale of 1-10?: 10 being tops.

What the fuck do I do know. Ask me questions please!

July 17, 2005
8:38 pm
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clayrains
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Oh and when we got to her hotel at first, she went in and changed before we went to the beach. She looked even hotter when she came out, but nothing inappropriate. Except for her thin strapped but not real low cut top (No bra of course)

July 17, 2005
8:52 pm
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Hi Clayrains,

My own analysis of this situation is that it is pure romance, pure crush....Beautiful hot looking girl, in beautiful whimsical setting, beach, etc. It is so easy to fall prey to this kind of thing.

I know that, I am a female and I love beauty and beautiful people. This is a weakness in me. However, as I got wiser, I learned to fall in love with inner beauty rather than outer beauty.

Consider what happened as something as you were a "good samaritan" to her and see how it goes from here. But, do not take this matter so seriously. If she contacts you again, stay good friend with platonic relationship. The only excepetion is of course if there is hope and something evident and mutual that emerged from this event.

Best of luck!

~Love, Ras~

July 17, 2005
10:58 pm
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Anonymous
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Hi Clay,

Firstly, remember that imperfect and follower of Christ are Synonymous. If they weren't we wouldn't need him.

Which point on a scale of 1-10 would I give your narrative? Well let's see...If I were reading purely for entertainment: I'd give it an eleven and a half. I enjoyed your tangible presentation and the picture that you painted with your words (the accents were a definate plus)!
But, your sincere plea in closing tells me that this is not about entertainment at all...

Can I just say that I totally ADMIRE your restraint. YOU managed to keep things platonic with this this girl while your carnal instincts raged beyond all control. That heroic by today's standards. It was also very smart of you since she was a stranger who could pose several risks.

So what do I think? I think that if this was just about making out with a hot russian chick that you would be returning an email right now as opposed to looking for advice.

My question? Well, what does your heart say to do? What does your spirit say to do? Which decision would bring you the most peace?

July 17, 2005
11:08 pm
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22haha
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Question: If she is so amazing to you why didn't you get more clarification? Who would write first? When would she be in St. Louis? Etc.
I just don't know whay you had to describe yourself. Does it make the story any different, any better or worse?

July 18, 2005
12:01 am
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exoticflower
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clay, the tone of your story made me uncomfortable, really. Theatricle, maybe? And a man of christ swearing so much needlessly and saying in so many kind of cheuvenistic ways what a fox this girl was...I just find it all unsettling. I guess this doesn't strike me as being a matter relating to counceling, codependency, the process of bettering-healing the self? I give the story a 2, good grammer, theatrically told, but just typical vacation tomfoolery and such that seems better suited for bar-talk with buddies. Why do you need us to tell you what 'rating' this story gets? It strikes me as strange.

July 18, 2005
1:38 am
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sewunique
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clayrains,

Just wondering, is this the first you have posted here at AAC? As Exoticflowewr said, and well stated I may add, it does seem rather peculiar that you choose this topic or story to discuss here. Very interesting. What are your issues here?

Sew

July 18, 2005
1:54 am
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sewunique
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"...I'll try to keep this brief initially and let you all ask the questions as we go. "

Why? What are YOUR questions?

July 18, 2005
10:56 am
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revelation
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Ehhh....whats this got to do with codependency/healing and learning about codependency?

I think the reason for and policy of this forum needs to be outlined somewhere for people to read!!!

July 18, 2005
10:57 am
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revelation
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Sorry Sew and EF, didn't see ur similar posts!!

July 18, 2005
12:53 pm
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sewunique
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It's ok, Rev. Strange things happen at 3 am here sometimes.

July 18, 2005
1:20 pm
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gazelle
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Hi, Clayrains. It seems strange posting the story of a rather dramatic incident with no apparent relation to codependency or counselling.

Do you have problems perhaps?

What sort of questions do you want us to ask, and why??

Are you inviting praise for your snazzy writing-style? Or for not trying to initiate sex with a total stranger?

Or eliciting comments on the girl's strange behaviour perhaps?

There! Those are my 6 questions for you. Lol. Blessings - gazelle.

July 18, 2005
1:38 pm
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kathygy
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clay, your story was interesting to read but your reaction to this woman sounds rather imature. So what if she was beautiful? That is very superficial. You don't know anything about her. She could be trouble. If the only reason you want to have contact with her is becuase she was beautiful I would let it go. She's unavilable at any rate, living somewhere else. I wonder why you had such a strong need to tell this story. I'm also wondering why you want a rating.

July 18, 2005
1:43 pm
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gazelle
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Ah yes - 'rating'. (Odd request!)Well, although catchy as a 'human interest' incident, the story is v superficial, dealing with appearances & actions only (although the scene is conjured-up well.)

It reveals no inner thought-processes; no 'deep' questioning; no personality or inner character of either party. Rather like the written equivalent of eye-candy.

There is no emotional engagement (other than the man's arousal & perhaps feeling flattered.)

Neither character remotely attracted me - they seemed to behave purely superficially.

They made no real attempt at communication - as shown by the man not knowing where or when she would be going away or coming back, or why. He expressed no interest in the girl or concern about her, and seemed only to care abvout his own ego having been flattered.

Also, there is a complete lack of imagination or even speculation. So, for me, with so much puerile swearing and all those vital elements missing, I would give 3 to 4 out of 10. I would not care to read on if it were a novel. Sorry.

More blessings of deeper engagement with life - gazelle.

Blessings - gazelle.

July 18, 2005
2:19 pm
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clayrains
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Thanks for the comments. I would like to point out that I am interested in this girl on a personal level. I don't know what it is about me would make me be attracted to attractive women? That's not all there is to it. Maybe, in my exitement, I didn't elaborate on that enough. I found her really interesting and unusual, that was kind of why I posted here. Also in my excitement, and extreme lack of sleep since that night, I can see that I chose the wrong place to post this story. So, I'll just end this thread I think. Thanks for the comments. Sorry for wasting anyone's time as well.

July 18, 2005
2:35 pm
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clayrains
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Sorry, I forgot your questions...

"Do you have problems perhaps?"

No deep-seated issues that I can think of.

What sort of questions do you want us to ask, and why??

Anything. I left out a lot of the details, especially of our conversation.

Are you inviting praise for your snazzy writing-style?

No. My writing style was pretty erratic and sloppy. I generally don't write like that. I was kind of hurrying.

Or for not trying to initiate sex with a total stranger?

Regardless of what that question means, I don't really care if I'm praised or not.

Or eliciting comments on the girl's strange behaviour perhaps?

I suppose, if you think it was strange?

July 18, 2005
2:43 pm
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Hi again. I'm much more pleased to meet you now that you reveal some genuine emotion.

"Excitement ... extreme lack of sleep ... really interesting & unusual ... " - now you have me GRIPPED!

Please don't leave the site - there is so much info & feedback, mutual support & helpful advice about relationships of all kinds. We do not judge each other here.

(I only judged your story & 'rated' it because you specifically asked. And because there was nothing deeper to discuss yet.)

I'm beginning to get a fuller picture. You may be overwhelmed with the unexpectedness of it all ... the exoticism of someone from a very different culture & background, whose behaviour & mannerisms etc beckon you to explore a whole new world & 'take' on life. This feeling I understand only too well! The lure of 'difference' ... the suggestion of faraway cultures entering our own little world on a personal level, and expanding our views. Yes - mystery has tremendous appeal.

Were language difficulties the reason you didn't get a clearer picture of why the girl was there or what her future plans were?

The weirdest thing is that I met up with an ex-boyfriend (the Love of my Life) last weekend. Yesterday, before we parted for probably years, he told me how a beautiful Russian girl doing domestic cleaning & caring seemed v pleasantly interested in him. He was v flattered, & he found her v attractive. He is looking for a long-term relationship & marriage. But he admitted to me that she was pushing things a little too fast for him, & although he gave her keen feedeback, she was makiing him feel uneasy.

I had to warn him that many Russian, Ukrainian & other east-European girls are coming here (England) to low-paid jobs (or, at worst, prostitution undercover) to seek a better life. Many are seeking British husbands to get citizenship. Then they dump the poor men.

I hope with all my heart that this is not the case for my ex, whom I still care about deeply. I hope he finds love & happiness, and I will always be his friend.

But just be a little bit aware of this issue, Clay, just in case. If she 'jumped on you' so eagerly on first aquaintance ... yes, it might be a genuine love-possibility ... but it just might be the typical economic migrant ploy.

I do hope I haven't offended you with either these warnings or my previous rather harsh criticism of what I (perhaps wrongly - took as macho strutting. I instantly warm towards people who show something of their inner feelings - as you now have. ( Hint: I think most people do too - esp. women!)

Good luck. May the best thing happen for you. At the very least, you have a fantastic gem of a memory. Please keep posting. I'll be nice - promise:)

Blessings - gazelle.

July 18, 2005
9:02 pm
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clayrains
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Hi Gazzelle,

Thanks for making me feel welcome. I think you may be the only one that seems to understand where I'm coming from. I'm just the extremely (yet cautiously) curious type. The kinds of questions I was looking for are the exact kind I'm wanting.

To answer your question, "Were language difficulties the reason you didn't get a clearer picture of why the girl was there or what her future plans were?"

I'd probably say 'No' and 'I'm not totally sure what you're asking but,
No'.

As far as language being a major problem, no. Don't get me wrong. There were language problems, minor ones, but if she'd have spoke English like the local news anchor, I'm sure I'd still be in the exact same quandry about her and our chance meeting.

As far as not knowing her future plans, do you mean immediate future plans like "Is she staying in Texas for three more weeks or is she going to Saint Louis in three days?" To tell you the truth, I don't think she's sure herself. Just like I wasn't sure if I was going to go to the beach and on to Austin one more night before going home or instead going on a spur-of-the-moment date with a Russian hitchhiker before going back to my friends house and crashing before I got up and drove straight from the Gulf to northern Missouri.

As far as her plans further in the future, I think she definitely will be back to the U.S. soon. She told me she was going to Saint Petersburg soon but was returning in about 3 months. She told me she wants to come to America and start a business. She told me that a dozen or more times along with what a wonderful, beautiful country this was.

She asked me what a good subject would be for her to study and get a decent job to live on until she can become self employed.

. I told her that healthcare was always in demand. She said she didn't think she'd like that. I wouldn't either, personally. She said she'd love to be a DJ at an American radio station like me, as are a few of her friends back in Russia, but she didn't think there would be much of a chance with her accent. (Let me tell you, I liked listening to her accent) And I think she could definitely carve out a niche with young male listeners. This is America afterall.

I don't think she's exactly sure what she wants to do careeer-wise, except that her main goal is to be her own boss eventually and live in America for good immediately. She also mentioned that just before she "got in quarrel with friends" they were eating at a bar and grill by the beach named Sharky's and had applied for a job. Just imagine the young guys (who've all seen American Pie)
being served Hamburgers and drinks by her on Spring Break. Can we say BIG TIPS?

July 18, 2005
9:13 pm
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(continued)

She sounds so much like me when I was 23 career-wise, not real sure what exactly to do. I was like that until my late 20s.

That would tend to make me think that she is open to the possibility of not going back to Russia very soon and staying around South Padre/Port Aransas. She also asked to see my map of Austin and started asking all kinds of questions about Austin, which is were I'll definitely be in about 3 months. As far as living in America, the only place she really spoke of living that I can remember was South Texas. I don't know if I will end up moving to Austin in three months for totally sure, but in 3 months I'll definitely be living in South Texas, propabably in the South Padre/Corpus Christi area.

Starting to see some similarities between us? There are plenty more I could tell you about. And she's from Russia!? Visiting the same place that I want to begin the rest of my life?!

July 18, 2005
10:29 pm
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You sai in the first thread that you had her e-mail address. So, why don't you write to her because obviously you are very smitten with her. I don't think you have any codependency issues just that you are missing this person that you made a great connection with. Write to her. Good luck. Hope you find her and it works out for ya. What is wrong with American women? Lol

July 18, 2005
10:54 pm
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clayrains
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"Ehhh....whats this got to do with codependency/healing and learning about codependency?
I think the reason for and policy of this forum needs to be outlined somewhere for people to read!!!"

Ehhh Revelation... it could have something to do in some sense with healing, possibly... but my post has nothing to do with codependency!

I think proper site design and organization needs to be outlined for whoever put this site together, perhaps? I went to allaboutcounseling.com, clicked on "discussions," was taken to a login page, entered my user name and password, clicked the "login" button, was taken to a page that said "You're at support threads," clicked on "Create new Thread" and I typed my thread. I never saw the word "codependency" anywhere during this entire process until you, Revelation, mentioned it.

I HAVE posted here before many times before and I've never had this problem. Could it be that this site is entirely devoted to getting over codependency? If so, I apoligize, but then again, nobody ever mentioned any a problem of me not seeking help with codependency before.

And I assure you this has not a thing to do with codependency on either side. I have never been married, engaged, had children or a "serious" relationship and from what I gathered, Katerina hasn't either. She did mention having boyfriend that "tried everything like heroin." She also mentioned that she dropped him like a rock one day and never spoke with or saw him since that day.

But it's okay. Like I said, I've posted here before. I'm not looking to be judged, and that's practically 'motto No. 2' of this site, but I realize there are plenty here that are chomping at the bit to do just that and I'm willing to explain my imperfect, yet well intentioned self.

July 18, 2005
11:21 pm
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22haha
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I'm not judging you just wondering why you don't write to this woman if you are so attracted to her??? I would write to someone great - if I met someone great.

July 18, 2005
11:28 pm
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"Ehhh Revelation... " I do not find it kind to mimick somebody, aloud or written. It feels agressive to me to read, and strikes me as deliberately agressive to get a reaction. SOme other things I saw:

I'm not looking to be judged, and that's practically 'motto No. 2' of this site, but I realize there are plenty here that are chomping at the bit to do just that.--That is plain mean spirited insult.

Could it be that this site is entirely devoted to getting over codependency? If so, I apoligize, but then again, nobody ever mentioned any a problem of me not seeking help with codependency before.--It struck me as not very honest communication here, very passive and insincere, as there was already a red sign new to the opening page here stating exactly that this site is not only for codependancy issues, and one you must have seen as you implied that you where just reading the guidelines.

This isn't ordinarily a hostile environment as I have seen, though like anyone, the members here are very imperfect...many of us deal with codependency issues and tend to focus on it, or stumble across it while searching the web regarding codependency, it came up in my every search really for a week before I came here, it took me a while to see that is not all that is delt with here. I think it is an easy mistake to make, something corrected as easily as pointing it out as the sc had. Simply pointing out that you don't think that is what the site was for would have been direct, respectful, and add to the possitive non-agressive enviroment usually seen here. I fail to see the need for the agressive defensive aproach you took to peoples discomforts with your post, its content, its language and such. Guilting, shaming, insult, that is what I saw here.

July 18, 2005
11:50 pm
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"clay, the tone of your story made me uncomfortable, really. Theatricle, maybe? And a man of christ swearing so much needlessly and saying in so many kind of cheuvenistic ways what a fox this girl was...I just find it all unsettling."

Exoticflower, I'm sorry I mentioned that she was 'hot' so often. I would have mentioned how much we, oddly enough, had in common but, like I said, I was trying to keep it short intitially. I also was under the incorrect assumption at the time that it would be somewhat evident that I was interested in this girl for at least something other than "shagging her on the hood of my car." That's why I said "ask me questions?"

By the way, why do people keep throwing this idea that it's 'cheuvenistic' to be attracted to an attractive woman? Or was it the term I used? 'Hot' itself that's so offensive?

So if I said 'beautiful', that would be okay? So then, 'hot' is cheuvenistic? What is it that you think I'm implying by using the term 'hot'. Does 'hot' mean, according to you, that I think she should go get my beer and scrub my toilet when she's not being a baby raising-making-taking care of machine? I assure you that, as a 34-year-old male that I'd be married by now if I meant that. I can find a few women like that I think. Or, does 'hot' mean that I think of her as a slut or a whore, in your estimation? As I said, this was a pretty platonic date that we had. My great aunt Trudie was 'hot' as a young girl. I assure you I think neither of her or have any incestual desire for her.

I do beleive Jesus would cut me a little slack there since he was there when that desire was ingrained upon us all. The young Russian lady in question would, I'm sure agree, since she specifically told me she beleives in one God, present in 3 Personages, and that one of them was Jesus Christ.

Of course she likely isn't a perfect follower of Christ which, as you correctly pointed out, is the same case with me. As the only example that comes to mind of her possible sinfullness at the present, she said the word "f_ck" a few times, although only when talking to one of her other Russian-speaking friends outside of her hotel, while by the way, talking about being deserted by the other friends roughly 13,000 miles from home, causing her to have to hitch a ride. She did curse when we were alone, which was once to jokingly tell me what the Russian equivalent of the word "f_ck" was when I used the term "p_ssed off," which was the first swear word either of us spoke that night. She also said "f_ck" one time and "f_ck off" once in a sort of embarrassed expanation for her outburst to her friend. She never cursed or mentioned anything profane other than that one sigle time.

We both cuss quite a bit, especially when exited. We both follow Christ but are imperfect, as I mentioned about myself in my first post. We both avoid cursing when in the presence of a date that we just met though. I can't say for sure that I've EVER met a woman with all those exact qualities in addition to others that I may or may not have mentioned. Also, it's JUST ONE more thing we have in COMMON, and another thing that struck me about her, besides the fact that she's 'hot'.

I honestly have no real idea if she thought I was attractive though....

Okay, I had to say that, but I'm sure I'll get drug around a bit for that too. "Are you an ego case" Do have to have positive affirmation of your looks?!" hehe

Bye for now.

July 18, 2005
11:58 pm
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Clay, I'm not interested in a battle, I just noticed that the only real details you gave about her revolved around her looks, but you make me uncomfortable again, I feel like you are looking to start a fight with me. I said my piece, which you seem to be avoiding or diverting from by picking something I said and attacking me with it. The mention of her not wearing a bra and what she changed into, her being really f*ing beutiful, hot, these things just struck me as strange and I said so. I refuse to further defend myself for voicing my opinion, one that others shared as well. You seem very defensive and evasive, and I can see you do not want to think so, there is no point in my further trying to explain where I am coming from. I was simply stating that your above behaviors where not as I saw them fair means of communication, but as I see them again here, I do not see the point in this. I ho[pe you find the answer to the questions you have.

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