Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Phalic I have a question for you
February 2, 2005
7:04 pm
Avatar
Phalic_Liberator
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ren'ai,

SO.

I consider myself to be above average looking and I'm single. I'm attracted to a larger percentage of the population than most. I'm also being really, really choosey and the fact that I have no money doesn't put me in the fast track on the dating scene.

Anyway, rely on me to read into something things that may not be relavant and trust that I will flirt in kind. Anonymity does allow for a certain degree of openness after all...

PL

February 2, 2005
7:27 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Being "choosy" is smart. I have been choosy as well but it hasn't worked out that well for me. Apparently, I don't know how to "choose" for myself very well. You're young and you have time to figure this shit out. Especially with your sobriety intact--which I think is awesome, by the way...

But we digress...

Misogyny was the topic of discussion here. Maybe tomorrow I'll have the energy to write on the topic...

Love,

Ren'ai

February 2, 2005
9:48 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

PL,
I have decided that I don't have any more questions to ask. I have held on even when I thought I had let go. I am just going to let this go, all of it. In writing these threads about commitment, sex, etc., I have been trying to understand ssomeone from my past...so that is where this part of my life belongs. Hoping that just because we have stayed in contact that it can be resurrected...which is a long shot. So essentally I have been living on the hope and not the reality, so unless I actually pursue him, I don't think anything will happen. He thinks he can't satisfy me his way, and truthfully I don't care about that at all, but I may be living in a dream world, and it time to wake up.

February 2, 2005
10:01 pm
Avatar
Phalic_Liberator
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

OMW,

It sounds like you're coming to some realizations about a lot of things and it looks like you've decided wisely. Change is stressful but you can have fun with it. I'm rooting for you.

Let me know if I can help with anything else but it looks like you're casting off shackles from the past and looking ahead. Don't be scared. You have a lot to look forward to.

PL

February 2, 2005
10:53 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks PL, I think this is what is happening too, I'm sure I'll be fine. 🙂

February 3, 2005
10:22 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

PL- above average looking? hmmm, the pervert in me is intrigued. HA HA. Well I know I'm a cutie, but I am so picky that I think that it is so rare for me to acutally like someone for more than two days and the ones I do, well we see how great my judgment is.

AND, just so you two know I think flirting on these things is fine, after all what is the harm you don't know the person and never will, and it gives you a little smile.

And yes Ren'ai I would love to hear your input on Misogynism.

February 3, 2005
11:42 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hello to all,

Here I go, and I'm likely going to go and go and go because I have worked in the field of Domestic Violence/Family Violence for about 15 years now, either directly or indirectly. Such is the nature of social work. I have some STRONG opinions about this and there are a lot of men who may feel some offense here. I'm going to refer to most abusers as male because this is the predominent stat. Sorry, WD, I know you and me don't see eye to eye on this but the stats don't lie...

Let's take a look at what happened to Matthew Shepherd. He was a gay man who was tied to a fence post and left to die because he allegedly "came on" to the guys he was with. Now, IF this truly was the motivation for such a horrific crime--why? Why would a man become so blindingly angry because another man "made a pass" at him? Let's skip all the "only they would know" and assume--straight men, feel free to set me straight on this--that the straight man is offended because he is thinking "How can this guy think I'm gay?"

Now, what is it about the gay man that straight men find so reprehensible? I believe they are perceived as "weak" and "feminine". Why would the average straight man become so enraged about being perceived as "feminine" and therefore, a potential partner for a gay man? My answer--misogyny. Many men have an inherent dislike for women because they perceive us as the weaker beings. To have another man perceive them this way offends them--sometimes to the point of assault and even murder.

After all, most of the time, it's the man who takes the lead. There are a few of us ladies who don't mind going after what we want, but for the most part, men will make the first move. So, when man #1 makes a move on man #2, what is man #2 thinking?

How many of you have heard--and how many of you men have said--"If a fag came on to me I would kick his ass!" I don't know about you all, but I hear it all the time. And my common response is "Why? Why not just politely state that you aren't attracted to men?" I rarely get an answer.

Now, let's talk stats. About 95% of all violent crime against women is committed by men. About 95% of all violent crime committed against men is committed by men. I agree that the stats re: women to men abuse are incorrect due to under-reporting. These stats are also incorrect because if a woman has been getting beaten, and she finally makes the decision to fight back, when the police show up they are both going to jail. This incident will be logged as women to men abuse in the stats when it was actually self-defense. There are also women out there in abusive relationships who will see the abuse "coming".

Let me back up and talk about the cycle of violence. There is a period of pressure building, where the abuser is becoming more and more and more stressed and angry. When the stress exceeds the levels that the abuser will tolerate, he will lash out at his partner and/or children. Then there is the honeymoon. The abuser feels guilty and will apologize, do the flowers/candy/nice dinner thing, and promise to change. The reason this honeymooning works is because the woman is in love and wants to believe her partner. Who doesn't want to believe their partner? Additionally, these abusers are usually sincere. They aren't happy that they beat their wife. They want to change. They believe they don't need help to do it. Their sincerity is easy to believe. Then the cycle will start again with the pressure building.

During the pressure building stage, some women just can't deal with walking on eggshells anymore. Some women will intentionally antagonize their partners to explode. Why? Because she believes that it's better to know when it's going to happen, and she feels some sense of control in being able to "make" it happen. Some women believe the beating won't be as bad. Some just want to get it over with.

Now, I could begin my attack on the media, and how women are protrayed in advertisements and on television and most especially in PORN, but most of you are probably already aware of these issues and hopefully we have like opinions. However, if you want me to jump on that soapbox I will...

And let's not forget the fact that in many countries the extermination of women and children is an acceptable practice. I have to say that we, yes, right here in the good ole' US of A aren't much different. We just hide it better than others...

Love to all,

Ren'ai

February 3, 2005
12:06 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ren'ai I too have worked in the domestic violence field and I agree with you. I also think that fearing the unknown in homosexual situations ia a lot of what hatred is stemmed from. It is so easy to hate what we don't know.

Such as men and women, men who rarely take the time to get to know women, who view them as objects can easily hate them more.

The same goes for serial killers, which I have studied in great detail. It is so easy for them to kill because they objectify the victims rarely seeing them as people only as means for their satisfaction. In personalizing yourself with one, it makes it harder for them to kill, because even though they are killers underneath and brutal and most likely don't have empathy or a conscience, they still have some part in their brain that doesn't like to be connected in any sense to what they are doing.

I think that most rapists and murder's think the same on these issues, and at the time of the act that they are doing. If they don't objectify the victim, then they in essence would not be able to commit the acts they commit.

February 3, 2005
2:41 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
31
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110935
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38541
Posts: 714220
Newest Members:
jessicawales, documentsonline, SafeWork, thomasalina, genericsmartdrugs, 才艺
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer