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Personal To Ladeska...
November 2, 2001
9:23 pm
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Ladeska
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September 27, 2010
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......hm,m,m,m....can't really tell you how many times I have wailed on God....only He knows that. Things I don't understand...but all the time there is always this kind voice in my head that basically says and if you stop training, if you lay down your armor and your willingness....there will be "one" that won't understand, one that won't see eyes that I say - I know... Basically, that little girl is "me" and I know that.

And that is the way it is with all of us who survive our horrors and still find the whatever - to reach out and say "grab ahold"... We know intimately that there is a power that is beyond us, beyond all the evil in this world, beyond our weaknesses and beyond what we will ever fully know or understand. We know - because we are still here and we still have "heart". Quite the miracle...considering...

But, I've found throughout my life that something fears and trembles at such a little girl's faith and ability to endure, however frail, however weak and that really fascinates me and keeps me going. In as much as I recognize fear in myself, I also recognize it in something or someone - evil. That is an acknowledgement from them - that they see power, power that is more than what they are and possess.

You.....are a blessing to me as well. You little ball of fur and fangs and yet - graceful beauty that says - I'm all that and yet - I recognize I am still only a student in this life as well....

When one truly knows Christ - they realize that we must take that stance of standing in His presence - with this posture. Not because He demands it, but because we will never really grow or continually learn if we let our egos rule.

The universe is big and....we have so much to learn, to know, to rise above and to conquer. All those little girls sit and wait on their sisters to come to them....to teach them, to be their mentors, their mommies if need be and help them to hold their heads up and be full of graceful beauty....in spite of what is hurled at them. This....is true power and this is what everything evil knows nothing about because by it's very nature - it can't comprehend it.

Those little ones are very much - our responsibility....where others have dropped the ball, we must pick it up and be real role models. There is so much to being a woman that isn't about being sex symbols and being catty witches. We stoop to that because we fear.....it's time to stop living in fear and live up to - our true potential.... (smile) Thank you, sweetie - this brought tears to my eyes when I read it...my little valentine and I cherish it as I do you.

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