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PERSONAL AD: SEEKING AN ADORING SUBMISSIVE AVAILABLE SELF DENIGRATING PARTNER
November 7, 2004
6:24 am
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LEILEI
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You must be reasonably attractive; or at least look good on my arms; Financially adventageous, or provide me with some type of status quo; Gullible; Trusting; Not demanding; Love roller coasters
If you possess any or all of the traits shown above, get ready for the highs and lows and the ride of your life. I guarantee your world will never be the same.
More about me:
I am a God-like supreme figure. I am the most important person on earth, the world revolves around me. I will idealize then I will devalue and discard you. I see you only as an object and you can be thrown away. I am heartless. I am self-centered. I feel no remorse or guilt no matter how much I hurt you. I am somewhat unreliable. I don't pay much attention to the consequences of my actions. I have no values I am an accomplished liar. I will threaten, sabotage and twist all that you say. I announce, I never discuss. I tell, I never ask. I always have a hidden agenda. I will keep you dependent. I am unique. I am special. I will most certainly exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore, manipulate and control you. I only love my false self. I have no empathy. I am quite the pessimist. I am cynical. I love sarcasm, not to mention spite. I constantly criticize. I am an excellent verbal abuser. I am contemptous, I will say anything and trash anyone for my self justification; I am arrogant. I lack initiative. I am an excellent imitation of a fully formed human. However, I am emotionally absent, extremely immature. I will twist your psyche, play with your mind. I will lead you to a place called insanity because I am entitled. I care only about appearances. I am the worlds worst gift giver, so do not expect anything. I have unreasonable expectations. I am envious. I am the victim. I will suffocate all of the goodness out of you. I am a leech, a real soul sucker. I will continually frustrate you. I will collect and store all of your deepest thoughts, in order to coerce, charm, extort and dehumanize you. I will not hesitate to use what you have told me no matter how intimate it may be. I will use these secrets as powerful tools in my armoury of destruction. I can't let you see underneath my glamour and trickery, for a monster lurks. It was created to distort and irreversibly influence your life and those around you for the worse. I am an emotional invalid. I SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS, however if you are still reading and interested - I will continually withhold and fake my emotions. I will alter you. I will leave you feeling nervous and anxious. I will make you question your capabilities and I will make sure that you never saw it coming. I will constantly test you. I will keep you guessing. I weave illusions of mystery. I will remain as long as I can evoke reactions in you; doesn't matter if they are pos. or neg. I will never admit something is wrong with me. I can never be reformed. What u see is what u get. I will never truly get the meaning of what u or anyone says. I will never recognize your feelings. I don't even recognize my own. My feelings are like the weather, atmospheric. I feel no paid beyond physical discomfort. I lack love and pleasure. I do not have a good reason for anything that I do. I believe everyone in the world is like me, except for the fact that I am honest and all other are hypocrites. I am extremely sensitive to personal criticism and I am extremely critical of others.I must be seen as perfect or Superior next to God-like. For I am worth Gods special attention. I am cruel in little ways as well as big ones. I will attack you and spew a load of insults, abuse and threaten. I may banish you from my glorious presence for a period of time or until I need you again, of course I will have expected you to have learned your lesson. I will display extreme rage over the littliest offense committed against me. I will invade all areas of your life. I will stalk, harass you as a means of being in touch and to assert my control. I will capture you and never really completely let you go. I live in a world compromised of deceit and deception. I am dangerous. I will leave you repeatedly as a prisoner and hostage in more ways than one, long after I am gone. I promise and will see to it that you come to occupy the same emotional wasteland as I.

November 7, 2004
8:08 am
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mamacinnamon
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You got that right Leilei.

November 7, 2004
8:39 am
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bubishi76
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Leilei,
Wow was that a bit of writing. That's pretty hard to swollow but in alot of ways true. How do we ever get healthy from that?

November 7, 2004
8:47 am
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sewunique
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Hey Leilei,

Good morning!

Well, you said a mouthful. I've been looking for the same person, found him more than once. Why???

We are sure woth more than that, right?

Thanks for sharing the enlightment.

November 7, 2004
8:52 am
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bubishi76
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Hey Sew,
How are you?

November 7, 2004
10:59 am
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Tumbleweed8
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Thankyou, L. It is right on.

November 7, 2004
11:17 am
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KathyinPain
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Leilei,

I couldn't have put it better myself! (And, you are an excellent writer!)

Kathy

November 7, 2004
11:32 am
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jossy
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Leilei,
It hurts, you put it beautifully.
Jossy

November 7, 2004
1:05 pm
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sdesigns
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We should be taught this as soon as we learn our ABC's.

Some quotes from "Confessions of a Womanizer": (pretty cold hearted)

Why torture yourself with the kind of man who will never let you hold a smile longer than the time it takes for him to vanish from your sight? How could he possibly break your heart if he never rose higher than your panites?

You are guilty of breaking your own heart by repeatedly going after the same mistake of a man.

Some loved me hard enough to shatter their own lives.

November 7, 2004
1:28 pm
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Worried_Dad
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If you could also slap me around once in a while then we have a deal!

November 7, 2004
3:02 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Think I should read "The Womanizer" as it is probably worse than I previously thought. Thankyou for opening my eyes more.

November 7, 2004
3:17 pm
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sdesigns
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It made me sick to my stomach.

Worried Dad: A deal for what? You aren't one of those guys, I know from reading your posts. SD

November 7, 2004
5:00 pm
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Level _7
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OMG, Leilei, that must have been posted by my previous ex!! AHHHH!!!!

I had the last laugh....I got over him... LOL!!

November 9, 2004
8:12 am
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readyforachange
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I think we ALL know this guy....and have had a serious relationship with him. Thanks for putting it so clearly in black and white. Right now, I'm mad as hell and won't allow him back into my life....but I let it happen over and over for 17 years. That ride was scary, and I'm getting OFF!

November 9, 2004
11:28 am
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goaliemom
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The above is the classic narcissist that I had posted about before. Each trait that you mentioned can be found on the Narcissistic Personality Disorder website that I have found. It is sickening isn't it to know that this is really what is going on in their heads? It hurts still the same knowing that what you thought was real was nothing but a game to them and they have no clue nor conscious for the extreme pain that they have inflicted on us. I just wish I could move past this and try to get on with my life. I am having such a hard time since I love to the bottom of my heart and all I got was devalued and discarded without any warning. He has moved on to the next victim (#4) and what kills me is that he is so "happy". The narcissist will never find true happiness, no matter how long they seek. I just want to scream right now that I let myself get hurt this way after 3 years of being with someone and they just "move on" with no remorse.
Blessings to all.....

November 9, 2004
12:18 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Sorry sdesigns,

I was doing a "free" there.

My point was that if all of that wasn't bad enough, the author of that ad is also probably a beater. Whoever answers the ad therefore, is also asking for the occasional beating.

November 9, 2004
1:22 pm
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Escape for Passion
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I'm speechless... really speechless.

November 9, 2004
1:38 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Just read these later posts and Level, I think if we take the attitude that like you posted "I had the last laugh, I got over him", it will help us. We need to feel that yes, we have a right to get over someone like this no matter how humiliated they caused us to feel. I know that even as bad as it is, we hang on hoping it will get better and when finally they leave with no notice, it takes time to really get over it and know we're over it. In my case, I think I am over it and hopefully will not be so easily led again or feel so desparate for help of any kind that I'll fall prey ever again. Wishing us all the best as we deserve it!

November 9, 2004
4:27 pm
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chasaphatty
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LEILEI,
I see you've met my exboyfriend tell him I Hi! Wow I actually printed that out and will be keeping it in my purse for referance anytime I think about going back to him! Greatly put! I love it!

November 9, 2004
6:20 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Thankyou, goaliemom for mentioning that website. A lot of helpful info on there. I read some of it and realized that they do tell you who they are, but in a way that you don't pick up on it. When its all over you realize why certain things were said and you know everything was done in a way where they could defend themselves and place the blame on you if they had to. I'm thankful that I followed my instincts which told me not to confront this person toward the end when I began seeing the red flags. I had made a comment once that If people use me, I feel thats on them, not me and he got upset and said he couldn't live with that so that alerted me, thankfully before more harm was done. I just want to say that age doesn't matter either as these people don't change or outgrow this behaviour during their lifetime. The person I knew also went on to someone else from what I hear and possibly someone with a nice home so this person will be that way until they cease to exist. He used to comment that people usually are how they've been all their lives. I am grateful now that he left this area as he did because he did me a favor in doing so. Things do happen for reasons we don't understand sometimes until later on.

November 9, 2004
6:36 pm
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bkc
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So how can I met the person who wrote the initial description. Sounds so mysterious and alluring.

November 10, 2004
4:20 pm
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fortheloveofgod
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LEILEI,

Apparently you have met my husband! Tell him that he still owes me some money~!!

Keep up the writing. . . . I loved it.

November 10, 2004
4:22 pm
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willitgetbetter
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Leilei, You've met my ex as well then?

November 10, 2004
5:07 pm
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readyforachange
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I actually came back to this thread to reread the Personal Ad. This time I printed it out and put it in my briefcase....You are such a great writer, LeiLei. I hope I'll read this often. It's amazing how many of us can totally relate to this personality, even though reading it gives you chills and makes you nauseous. How did we let ourselves get involved with this person? I feel like a total failure that I let someone take 20 years of my life when I should have known he was rotten through and through.

November 12, 2004
5:14 pm
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november
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so very true. i guess i don't realize underneath they are thinking that way. is it a conscious thing for them? i mean do they actually plan to do all those things? has anyone ever showed something like this to the narcisstic and what was their response other than i am not that. i mean are they aware at all? thanks

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