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Passive Aggressive Rep
September 13, 2005
2:22 pm
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Rasputin
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I have been having problem with Rep at my bank for the last couple of years or over. There is rep who serves me each time I go there. She's been serving me each time I happened to go there.

Her manners are very PAPD. At 1st, I was unable to discern that due to my generous personality and big heart and giving people the benefit of the doubt.

However, I found out that each time she serves me, I am so annoyed, wasted time, effort, had so much stress, either coz she did not treat me rightly, did not call me as promised, or what I asked for is delayed and I end up frustrated, lost effort, money and had so much stress and worry.

This is one of the most dangerous PD I hate, they are overt, subtle, cannot be identified easily esp if you happen to be warm and patient person like me. Yet, she's been giving nothing but pain & stress for the last couple of years or over.

I called the bank manager of my branch and spoke with her assistant who will convey the message to her. Ofcourse, I did not say that rep is PA. All I said is I was not treated in professional way. I hope to be granted some fairness and justice. I gave the name of this rep to this assitant. I believe we have every right to be treated the way we should be treated.

How do you handle PA people, guys? They are one of the most intolerable scary people.
I honestly am afraid of these PAPD!!!

Sorry I am rambling, I really needed to vent. I do not need mean, nasty, stressful people in my life.

I told this assistant that I would like to have nothing to do with her from now one. All the other employees of my branch are great employees and I had no problem with them.

September 13, 2005
2:24 pm
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kathygy
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What is PAPD?

September 13, 2005
2:31 pm
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Rasputin
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Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder.

September 13, 2005
2:45 pm
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Shaney
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Hi Ras -

that makes me CRAZY! I had a girl like that in my department a couple of years ago, and it was absolutely maddening. People like this manage to get away with that type of behaviour because it can be viewed two ways - aggressively or passively. When they're called on it, they can just say that nothing was meant by it - so they get away with it. This particular girl was never called on it, until I got very tired of her treating her fellow co-workers badly. I just said to her, "Now, that last statement of yours could be taken two ways - how did YOU mean for it to be taken?" She backed down like you wouldn't believe. She pouted and ignored me for a while but cleaned up her act a bit after a while. She was eventually fired for being a passive aggressive little troublemaker - it caught up to her. BUT (BIG BUT) - you're going to love the outcome of this story... my brother married that little brat, and now she's my sister in law. And she hasn't changed! Ha!
Can you believe it.

September 13, 2005
2:55 pm
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Rasputin
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Poor you Shaney! PA people are one of the most dangerous people in the world. There are very Subtle and COVERT in their tactics and provoque you to anger without having proof against them. They use very sulky and sullen in their behavior AND they can get away with it as you said, coz they is no clear-cut evidence to condemn them.

Oh well. I always try to stay away from these people!!!

Your post was like joke Shaney. How funny. So, your brother ended up marrying her and now she is your sister-in-law. I hope you both get along with each other and she managed to change; otherwise Chances are your brother will have troubles with her.

September 13, 2005
3:04 pm
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Shaney
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It's such a crazy story. We do, to this day, have some problems... they've been sort of swept under the carpet, because there is no solution to the whole deal. My brother was sneaking around with her while she was still in my department - I was her manager - and I ended up firing her which brought about all sorts of bad feelings between all of us. She was a problem, and she knows it, but she has convinced my brother that she was nothing but an angel, and I am a problem. We manage to get through family get togethers in a civil, friendly way, but we'll never be close - which is fine with me. She's my brother's problem now - his major was psycholgy in college, and has practiced in the past - so our family figures that his degree isn't going to waste. His wife will be a life-long study for him.

September 13, 2005
3:18 pm
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taj64
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I think it was good idea to report her. If nobody ever said anything, she would get away with being rude. A bank person should be people friendly. Maybe there are others that work that cannot report her for fear of their jobs or to be professional at all times or to not stir the pot up. Maybe you started the ball rolling that others cannot do. And maybe she will change her behavior.

September 13, 2005
3:31 pm
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Rasputin
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I have just had call from the bank manager. She thanked me for the attention I brought to her and assured me that she will have meeting with all including that PA woman and make sure that no passive aggressiveness is repeated toward me.

I stressed to her that I would like to have nothing to do with this rep from now on. And if I am standing in line, I will let the other person standing behind me to pass before me so that I avoid her and be seen by somebody else. I also told her that all the employees are fabulous and I had no problem whatsoever with them!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh, life can be so frustrating with those PA. I really hate them. I pray to God to protect me from them all the time. I am so scarrrrrrrrrrred of them!!!!

Thanks Shaney and Taj for your responses. I really appreciate them!

~Love, Ras~

September 13, 2005
4:41 pm
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glittered when he walked
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In the end, the manifestations of this teller's passive agression are what is a problem. So, they're either too slow or otherwise ineffectual. that's the key issue for you. It really doesn't matter what this person's particular dysfunction is, because you don't have a personal relationship w/ the teller. It's professional - and if the teller is doing a substandard job. it shouldn't matter to you why it's substandard. There's no viable excuse that exculpates the teller from professional responsibility. It might seem cold, but it's a professional relationship, not personal. as such, keep emotions to a minimum. Like the Godfather said "it's nothing personal, it's strictly business."

So Good for you for calling the bank manager.

September 13, 2005
7:05 pm
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Rasputin
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Yes Glit! I am very patient and forgiving person, but if someone takes advantage of my sweetness; guess what? I turn into a... TIGER!!!!!!!

Sorry, she/bad people forced me to do that! ~Ras~

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