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Partner in AA and thinks he knows everything!
April 5, 2007
10:17 am
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
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My partner has been in AA and sober for 12 years and I am proud of him for that. However,I am so tired of the assumption that just because he is AA he has it all figured out.

I have found that AA has made him very SELF absorbed. I believe that he had to quit drinking and that is a great thing. I do not understand why he had to do it at everyone else's expense. I have noticed that his children do not come visit often, that he supports and love them (talks about them all of the time to others but it almost more a way for him to get the attention than it is to honor the kids).

I believe, that they, like me, get frustrated with his inability or unwillingness to pay attention. I see their frustration when they have told him something of great importance to them only days earlier only to realize that he was not listening and has no clue.

My psych. said that he is a classic Narcissist and that I should just move on and it is going to happen now or later. Also told me that many physicans are this way and that I am never going to change him.

Why then, am I am fighting it? I saw my Mother do this with stepfathers and told myself that I would never accept the kinds of realtionships that she was in.

Help to me to see this clearly? Please?


April 5, 2007
11:26 am
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
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My guess is that you are scared. You fear the unknown but at the same time you are not happy.
You taking the same step as your mother even though you know that it is not right. Your mother might not have broken that pattern but you can.

You need to learn how to let go, then to be still unhappy and knowing that this maybe is not what I want.

I tell you that since I have been on this site and reading about others, boy codependencey is a mother. It seem like it is hard but it really isn't. It is what you want or how you want others to treat you.

My thing is that you can either be stuck with the same pain or peoples or you can do something about it. You can't change the other person, you either deal with it or you don't.

When we come on here for answers, we already know that what we are going through is not right, we already know that we don't like it, we already know that we don't want it but I say that after asking these questions to myself, then I realize that it is up to me to change it. Peoples are going to be who they are anyway.

You just need to understand why you are putting up with something that is not making you happy and how long that you are going to put up with it?


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