Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
paranoia
March 1, 2001
2:00 pm
Avatar
ppl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am afraid of my paranoia. It has always been a problem for me since I was young, I always thought I heard people talking about me or laughing at me as a teenager and now that I am in my early 20s it is getting out of control and really hurting the rest of my life.

I not only have a huge jealousy problem, for no apparent reason, but I can see that I'm not thinking rationally. I realize that the old ladies walking behind me aren't really laughing at me or my boyfriend, but I can't stop thinking about it. Then, when I try to stop myself from thinking about it I get really, really anxious.

I've had a few episodes of uncontrollable rage because of my paranoia. The rages started right after puberty, when I was about 14.

The problem is that it has started to interfere even more with my personal life. I can't have a conversation with any one without constantly thinking that they are judging me and laughing at me. I force myself to not believe that they will just go talk to someone else about how stupid or horrible I am. The only thing that I can do to do this is to count, I count everything, sometimes in 3s or 4s, even my steps when I walk.

Also, twice in the last 3 weeks I honestly believed, for a short time, that I was invisible. I was judging how people were interacting around me and I thought that they were acting like I didn't exist and then I thought, maybe I don't exist. I am able to rationalize my way out of these thoughts most of the time, but it is terrifying to feel like you have no control over feelings that rationally have no basis in reality.

I keep thinking that this is just normal, that everyone is scared some times, but it has gotten to the point where I don't want to talk to my friends any more. I have already alienated a few by accusing them of disliking me, and my boyfriend has been very confused by my accusations. He doesn't think they hate me at all, but I think that they ignore me and talk bad about me. I don't have any real proof, but I have this strong conviction.

I'm scared because last year, I didn't leave my house for about 2 months except to go to work and school. I stopped socializing with everyone because I was just not with it. I scared myself. I am seeing a therapist about this, but she hasn't been much help. She tells me to stop and think rationally, and I do, but I can't stop these paranoid thoughts and now it has spread to my friends...who's next, my family? My boyfriend? I'll be all alone.

March 1, 2001
2:24 pm
Avatar
Cici
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ppl - you should find another therapist. This is a serious problem because once any idea or thought starts to infringe on your quality of life, it needs to be addressed.

You sound very distressed by your own feelings, and this is not something that anyone should have to deal with. I hesitate to make any judgements just based on these facts here, but is there a history of mental illness in your family at all?

March 2, 2001
6:35 pm
Avatar
Ladeska
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just a thought here, but we are very easily trained by how we are treated. And if we are treated a certain way when we were young and impressionable - guess what? We become products of that teaching.

Many times we are only reflecting what we grew up with and around. If you grew up in a household where there were layers to everything, hidden meanings, psychological games being played all the time, people saying one thing and then another, no real consistency and then if betrayal was in the picture - then I could very much understand why you are where you are now.

When people grow up in severely dysfunctional homes due to alcoholism, abuse of many kinds - they have problems with paranoia because they had a real problem on their hands growing up. And it was "real", not imagined at all. They never knew where they stood, family members would be hateful and talk behind their backs, saying one thing, meaning another and the child grows up constantly trying to figure out which game is running this week and am I going to be a victim of it?

Looking at it in this light - would it be any wonder an adult - would have the tendency to be paranoid? No, not at all. But - the problem is - we think recognizing the paranoia is the problem and makes us crazy. Before - they might not have had the time to think about anything but survival.

Sounds to me like someone has done a number of your self esteem and you've believed the lies after a while. Time to disbelieve some lies. Once your self esteem gets healthy and you look back over your shoulder at what you were taught and unlearn it - you won't be where you are now. You'll go - yeah right, whatever - think what you want - I know who I am.

September 3, 2016
4:47 pm
Avatar
1WickedWater015
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 3, 2016
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi. I don't know if anyobe goes here anymore but I have been paranoid about everything. And it is getting In the way of stuff I want to do.

September 29, 2016
4:44 am
Avatar
ShiningLight
Admin
Forum Posts: 572
Member Since:
February 9, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Consult a therapist for a possible medication or cognitive behavioral treatment. Paranoia is a serious mental condition.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
34
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110929
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38539
Posts: 714213
Newest Members:
stanley, LarteyWellnessGroup, dr ado spell caster, Leslie Ann Satin, overmyhead201, delight1080
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer