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out of the darkness P&L
July 25, 2006
3:31 pm
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Anonymous
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Hey everyone here...thanks for the wonderful support the past few days. As I mentioned I had a bad few days triggered by something at work. Well, I let it go!!!! Hooray.

I spoke with a trusted colleague/friend miles away, and if hasn't read the coda literature, I would be surprised! He set me straight back on the path. I cannot control certain things, and I must let go of those and focus on those things I can.

I also realized I did something that I perceived as very ethical at work, and I knew back when I did it, I would face the consequence of having a couple of people mad at me. Okay, so why let their moods affect my moods? They cannot fire me anyway. The choice I made was what I perceived as the path of good. I had another choice that would have made me even more miserable and I could not live with myself. So, I either way, I was facing a dilemma. I chose the path where I would be able to live with myself, and let a few people be mad at me for a while. So be it. I seemed to forget that was one of the outcomes. So, now I will live with that consequence and hold my head up high.

Thank you again for everyone who supported me. I know that all I have been through the past year means taking one day at a time. I seem to have more and more good days now, and even crack some jokes like I used to. "It's all good." I am slowly healing from the deep wounds, and some of you know, I even went on a date! Okay, so it was like a whole weekend...:)

So, have to go post on the WD thread and then, I have to stop by work. I am actually gonna drop by there...I place I love, but let hurt me. I am going to love it no matter.

Peace and Love, and Thank you.

July 25, 2006
6:12 pm
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Randomwomen2
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((P&L)) I am so happy for you sweetheart

July 25, 2006
6:20 pm
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lollipop3
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P&L,

You sound really good today.

Sometimes, no matter how far we have come in our recovery, we still have slips from time and time and need a gentile reminder to help us get back on track.

I'm glad to hear you're on your way again.

Take care,
lolli

July 25, 2006
6:40 pm
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Anonymous
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wow, a date? a joke?

G o o d f o r y o u m y f r i e n d!

if it can be done, lets do it! (will you show me how?)

July 25, 2006
9:41 pm
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Anonymous
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Thanks everyone- Just got in from work...How are you all doing today? P&L

July 25, 2006
10:09 pm
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Anonymous
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Not as good as you, P&L! Not too bad though. The only major setback being the email to my xh. I should have done without it.

July 25, 2006
10:13 pm
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Anonymous
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Sinin- I just wrote to you on your thread, darling. Okay, half my doing well, involves faking it. If I can fake it, that means I am good enough to get by. Fake "as if" and then I try to believe it myself.

July 25, 2006
10:39 pm
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Anonymous
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Tell me about the date? Was it the special guy/MD? If so, he helped boost your mood!

July 25, 2006
10:48 pm
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Anonymous
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Sinin-

not since before. he just called me last night and said he wants me to have his baby. haha. I am too sick and it is too risky. He wants me to move there. I cannot do it. I said let's just see what happens. However, I DO want to have my own child, and he would make one great looking dad. I think it was sorta a proposal....he doesn't drink or use drugs. My mom abot had a heart attack. She doesn't think my body could take it. It would be very high risk. Ya know even if I did not marry him. I might want to do it. I want to be a mother, and I can afford it, but I might just adopt. I have to get this little depression thing under control first, but that actually turned out to be PMS!!! Can you believe it???? Well, he and I will plan to see each other more and figure all this out. In many ways, he is the guy for me, but I think I cant have my own baby, and that is not a dealbreaker for him. I brought it up. I just want my own child. I might go to china and get like a 3 yr old orphan. THat might be easier for me in my situation. I mean there is him, there is the baby, there is him and the baby, and then there is his own kid, and there is my job + family here...not to mention my health situation. I think I would have to be off that chemo for a year I think. By then, I think I am too old. Okay, why I am posting and posting tonight? I am trying to avoid the ice cream. I been overdoing it with the Ben and Jerry's. Okay, now all of AAC knows everything about me...all my quirks...hehe. xoxox, P&L

July 25, 2006
10:50 pm
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Anonymous
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p.s. I got an email about my ugly work situation just as I was trying to let go. here we go with the paradox. Yep, the big guns, were very concerned that the bad boy has been slowing down the process and wanted to make sure I was holding up okay. It was a really nice message. Cool.

July 25, 2006
10:55 pm
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loving myself
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P&L - thank you for sharing about your work situation. I was in a big ethical dilemma a few years ago and took the plunge. In the end it all worked out.

The courage that I had to summon for that drama led me to evaluate all aspects of my life which is how I ended up on this site.

July 25, 2006
10:58 pm
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Anonymous
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Nice from the big guns! The cream for your effort!

So what guy made you happy these days? You said you mentioned somewhere but I dont see it...

You could be a nice mom once you put less of your efforts at work! You could visit me and you could find your kid right here. When I was at the hospital there was a lady whose daughter got pregnant and decided shed carry the baby to term and leave it at the hospital...

July 25, 2006
11:26 pm
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Anonymous
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sinin- really? Thanks for the info. That is good info. Still same guy.

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