Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Our Dark Sides
March 1, 2005
11:11 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Tracy!

I have the book "Dark Side of the Light Chasers!" It's by Debbie Ford. I'm actually on my 3rd copy because I keep on giving it away. It's an awesome book!!!

For some of you who have a problem with the things about yourself that you view as "negative" "bad" or "dark" this book makes it easy to understand that those components help us cope during difficulties. It will also teach you how to turn those "dark" traits into strengths.

It's an excellent book!

Love to all,

Ren'ai

March 1, 2005
11:27 am
Avatar
jamaicanwife
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I have a reading list a mile long, and I have to add this book to it.

My biggest fear was realised a few weeks ago - I have done everything in my power (subconsciously, of course, as all good work is done) to be seen as perfect, and of course I failed miserably. I had thought that I had everyone fooled, but the strain was too much, I was living someone else's life, not mine. Well, I just realised that I had been suppressing everything in me that is like my father. I hated him for so long, that every trait that I had that reminded me of him, I tried to kill it, and almost killed myself.

Still figuring out how to deal with this.

March 1, 2005
6:04 pm
Avatar
tracylyn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey all ~

Didn't mean to ignore anyone, I don't get online away from work since I'm on it all day here...my weekends and evening I stay away. My son's been sick the last couple days so I've had to be at home. I just popped in the office to grab a few things and of course had to see what's happened over the weekend.

I like this thread, so many times we don't want to admit when we do bad things. Even on this site I think it takes us a while to open up and say yep, I'm a controller, manipulator, liar and all that. We so often want to blame everyone else. When yes, our unhealthy relationships are worth bitching about but if we didn't have these underlying issues we probably wouldn't be in these dysfunctional relationships anymore.

Our dark side is tough to look at but it's important that we do...I think that how we truly start liking who we are.

March 1, 2005
6:17 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I agree and I think that in our dark sides, like with my situation my ex had an equal if not worse dark side, otherwise when we did something horrific to one another, it would have been the end, and one of us would have walked away.

I always said there was something to be said about someone loving your shittiness but now I think that is just an unhealthy way to stay in a destructive relationship.

March 1, 2005
6:25 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I just bought that book so when I get it, I will let you know how it is.

March 2, 2005
12:04 pm
Avatar
tracylyn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh God yeah....about the ex....mine is the poster child for narcissism!!! Ex husband that is. He's ruthless, has no heart, is controlling and errogant and left me feeling worthless and useless and my self esteem hit rock bottom before I finally left him. So as far as a dark side goes....he wins.

Then, theres also an ex bf that had a dark side that he hid really well but when it came out....holy crap it was scary.

I guess I'm just glad that I can see mine and try my best to accept it as well as understand the why's behind it. I know for me, it's that I grew up with an alcoholic father that was emotionally unavailable.

To be honest...I started the book and never finished because she has you do some excersizes that I couldn't find the time or the mindset to do ...course that was a few years ago, you'd think I'd find the time. Maybe I'll start it again now...we'll see what demons we can dig up!!!

t

March 2, 2005
4:40 pm
Avatar
brendalee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
March 2, 2005
4:45 pm
Avatar
brendalee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Exploring or "dark" sides can be the most liberating experience EVER! If we decide to get really, REALLY honest with ourselves and explore just EXACTLY what it IS in other people that we have a strong emotional reaction to....we will find in due time that it IS those aspects of another person that we just can't stand...that are prevelent in our own lives.....if we just take the time to be HONEST with ourselves. It's like a mirror being held up to ourselves...we can choose to really SEE the reflection....and the teaching if we are so inclined!
Brenda

March 2, 2005
4:59 pm
Avatar
SweetAmanda
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am interested in doing this... Learning about the 'bad' parts of me.

But at the same time I don't want to.

It's almost funny that I was just thinking along these lines, then I get on here and read this.

There are parts of me that hate with a vengence. And I don't know why.

That's why I'm afraid to find out. What if I hate it because it's in me?

March 2, 2005
5:12 pm
Avatar
brendalee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

SweetAmanda - that's just it! Discovering those ugly parts within ourselves that DO exist! Fessing up is the hardest part....but not without it's own rewards....you know? In the end...it is sooooo freeing! Believe ME!!!! It's worth the exploration! You WILL come out feeling relieved and more connected and humble and powerful......and free to persue other aspects in your life that previously laid dormant! It's like - have you ever been in a pool or something and have tried to keep a ball under water? It's like the ball keeps wanting to surface....but you spend SOOOOO much time and energy trying to keep that ball UNDER the surface....but it WILL NOT relent. Well, such is so for our "dark" "shadow" sides. It must be acknowledged if we ever hope to move on......I KNOW what I am talking about here.........just go on and give that dark, shadow side it's due......the results are nothing short of AMAZING.....and you have to wonder afterwards....gosh - I sure did spend lots of time and energy trying to surpress this....I'm glad that it's finally out....now I'm free to go on to other things......:-) Brenda

March 2, 2005
5:16 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I agree 100% with Brenda - it is freeing. I have even been tempted to just list all my bad characterstics on here, because owning them and seeing that they aren't as terrible as we think they are.

Society places so much emphasis on that we should NEVER do that or think that way, but the thing is that when we supress what those charactertistics are, they fester and grown and become larger and even worse, they start to portray themselves in our lives.

I am controlling, I am manipulative, I am a liar, I am a cheat, I am evil, I am a slut, a whore, I am a user, I am a selfish person, I am unking, I am spiteful, I am a game player.

In admitting and owning what we are, we are able to accept the good with the bad.

March 2, 2005
5:18 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Because regardless of those bad qualities, I am not bad, I am good and bad just like everyone else, which makes us WHOLE.

March 2, 2005
6:08 pm
Avatar
brendalee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Aces and Spades....GOD...isn't it freeing to FINALLY ackowledge those ugly, dirty parts of ourselves???? WOW!!!!! It ain't easy....but - by cracky - ain't it worth it??????

March 2, 2005
6:14 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

YES YES YES, which all goes to my thread titled WHOLE.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
28
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110935
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38542
Posts: 714222
Newest Members:
jessicawales, documentsonline, SafeWork, thomasalina, genericsmartdrugs, 才艺
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer