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November 9, 2004
4:16 am
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needinghelp
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Hello, new to this forum, however there seems to be a lot of great advice if i may say so. I havent had many relationships in my life, and the last one was a complete disaster. I had a lot of strong feelings for this person (call it person X), even expressed the words "love" directly to X. I thought we had something, seeing as every time we were together we had fun, and probably only got in one non serious fight. When we slept together, i was more than hesitant intimate-wise, and told X it was because I didnt want to ruin/mess up anything we had going. X told me we were just friends, yet we continued to sleep (no sex) together. I did notice myself fantisizing about X all the time, mostly sexual and marriage thoughts. Then X left for college, and reminded me that we were just friends. After I kinda ruined things because I kept thinking we were more than friends, I finally realized that I was one of these so called relationship addicts. I read probably 4 books and decided that was indeed the case. Problem: I still feel I love X, seeing how I have never in my life come across someone as absolutely perfect as this person. Do i really need to totally give up on this person like the books say? If so, any help with this? If not, other than playing it "cool", how else would i play it?

November 9, 2004
4:22 am
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needinghelp
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Also, not sure if it matters, but I have always had extremely high standards for how someone looks. All my friends do not think that X is that attractive, yet I think X is the most beautiful person in the world, HONESTLY. I've known X forever, but just somewhat recently got to know X really well. Sorry if i sound like a retard!!

November 9, 2004
12:33 pm
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kathygy
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Believe him when he says you are just friends. Let go of any romantic fantasies about him. He isn't worth it if he doesn't love you. You are wasting your time and emotions on this man. Find someone who is available to love you. You deserve more.

November 9, 2004
12:40 pm
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workinonit
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September 27, 2010
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Absolutely,I agree! Why in the world would you ever want to invest your time and energy( which should be important to you) into a person who says they do not love yuo intimately?

You are young and many love relationships will come your way. BTW< many young people are obsessive about b/f's and g/f's. Break this for yourself right now by not buying into it and looking around for someone else you think is cute eniought to pay attention to. Look in the mirror even! I'm sure there are thingas you can do for yourself before you run off to find another guy in your life. Take it easy and just relax about this. Keep posting!!!

November 9, 2004
4:56 pm
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on my way
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September 29, 2010
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It is very confusing I think sometimes because everyone has a differnt concept of what the word "Friends" means. Some people think you can have sex and still be only friends, which says they want what they want without a commitment. Some take it all more seriously. I have been on the "freinds" receiving side, even after I thought he agreed with my definition of friends, which is, you don't have sex with your friends, or it becomes MORE than that. Sex makes a huge emotional shift in a relationship. SO maybe try to find out what it means to you and stick to that without compromise. I hope it all works out for you.

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