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OOPS
October 19, 2001
2:21 pm
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pill
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i just did something awful. I was writing this email - for therapy only. In it was all this crying and moaning about how much i miss him and how i'm hurting... i just really let it all out..

and hit "send" by accident when I was trying to archive it....

What should i do?

October 19, 2001
2:25 pm
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Ladeska
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Kind of a freudian slip of the finger I think....part of you probably wanted it to "send". Not much you can do at this point. It's gone. He'll respond to you and you guys will go from there. You'll either have boundaries and stay on your path or you won't. Maybe this can be a good thing - you can just get it all out, once and for all.

October 19, 2001
2:35 pm
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pill
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I wonder what he'll say/think? I'll let you all know what happens, if you're interested.

I know a lot of people are tired of hearing about this issue... it's much more interesting to get some fresh "meat" on the grill...

October 20, 2001
11:30 am
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Molly
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You make me laugh!!! My sis and I used to joke about the poisen pen letters, and the opps! that is why I do mine in Word, that way, after I have re read it if I really want to send it , have to do cut and paste and that takes effort. Lessons, laugh. With respect to your cycling your process, that is what this is all about, fresh meat, look at the threads, isn't it really all the same, just a few different details? We all process at different speeds, go forward, back one, or two, foreward, and then maybe turn left. So, process away, we see ourselves, we see your opportunities, and left turns, so keep us up to date, its more fun to navigate together.

October 20, 2001
11:34 am
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ejk
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I've done that before- Hit send when I was just doing a therapuetic email of saying how I feel. I never did get a response and then I wondered if they blocked my email. I hated it. Man- I was exactly where you are today a year ago.
Therapy and CODA really helped

October 20, 2001
4:37 pm
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janes
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Okay ejk....be my CODA group...

Where I live I'd probly have to drive 100 miles to find a group.

Or should I just call the therapist?

October 20, 2001
6:14 pm
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pill
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Hey group guess what?

He got the email and wrote back... he's saying how he is so messed up and how he messed up... and how he would do almost anything to have us back together...

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT???

Guess maybe fate isn't so bad after all...?

I want to celebrate with you all... but not just yet...

October 22, 2001
1:21 pm
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Molly
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Pill, you crack me up.

Janes, you ok? vent lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!

October 24, 2001
4:47 pm
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pill
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UPDATE:
We met, I made my demands. He agreed. Today is the second day and I got a cute little instant message from him this morning.

It's looking good folks... more later.

October 24, 2001
4:50 pm
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Ladeska
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Pill....well the proof will be in the pudding....over time...

Time is always a very good friend to hold close to you. What is fake - won't stand the test. So keep your reactions to a low frequency here and just see what boils down to a "consistency". Cute little messages are easy enough to send...

Actions that last - are another matter. Smile and nod and watch....

October 24, 2001
5:13 pm
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pill
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Yes, I'm still waiting on a couple of simple requests... just to see if they appear under my rug sometime in the future.

October 25, 2001
9:53 pm
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pill
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No changes as of yet. But, I'm not holding my breath. I'm a dating fool! WhooHoo.

October 26, 2001
1:26 pm
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pill
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Blondie, how are you today?

I sent him a note telling more feelings. He hasn't made contact since we talked about it. I sent another note today because i hate feeling like this. I'm in limbo and cannot allow him to leave it that way. So, I just want to ask him what the deal is today? I know he's not given it a bit of thought, but I want to hear from him.

I'm going to tell him I'm dating now. Maybe the will spur him to take action. Maybe he won't care - and then I'll know. I don't want to hurt him, but he can't expect me to stand around and wait.

October 26, 2001
6:11 pm
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La2Femme
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Pill: (i used to be DeniseLover). Do you find yourself on a roller coaster with him, over & over again? If you break free of him, can you share how you did it? I read this thread from the beginning. You sounded, at 1st, unsure, then elated, then panicked. It mirrors what I find myself in repeatedly. Good luck. But maybe you shouldn't say you're seeing someone. Cuz that's kinda game-playing. Maybe you could say something like "maybe I need to see other people".

ejk: Where would i find a CODA group in my area?

October 27, 2001
10:03 am
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pill
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That's a good idea, rather than throwing it in his face. Thanks for that!

October 27, 2001
4:18 pm
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gypsygirl
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Blondie you go girl!!!

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