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Oops needs reinforcements...
July 24, 2009
5:04 pm
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OopsADaisyFuentes
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sorry..been trying to sort things out through all of this. She did respond to my letter..she copied the lyrics to a song and then instead of directly addressing anything i said..just apologized and laid on more guilt. Not surprising and its been tough to fight the urge to succumb to that guilt even when i know better. I watched her today cut loose another close friend she had for virtually no reason..she is burning bridges and its sad to see..BUT..it is NOT my problem to fix. I have reached out..bent over backwards to at least be her friend and I can do no more than that for her...but for myself....I can do alot.

I've met some really great new friends and maybe even potential for something more...but i am NOT rushing into anything to heal the hole. That is not healthy for me or for any relationship i may get into. I still need more ME time..to figure out where to go from here...as Atalose says..not to know neccesarily what i DO want but to figure out wht i DON'T want or wont tolerate anymore. Bout time i put ME on the list and not had a guilt or pity party about it. I am not perfect and need to stop looking at myself with a magnifying glass and everyone else with rose colored glasses.

Atalose..btw..i showed a friend your advice to me about going round the same circles etc..and she was blown away...said that is sage advice and i need to take heed of it. Same actions ...same results...change my way of thinking..new outlook 🙂 thanks so much for your support. Yours as well Bonni and all who have contributed on here...keep it coming

July 27, 2009
9:43 am
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OopsADaisyFuentes
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ah maybe this thread has run it's course but as long as I need reinforcements..i'm gonna keep it alive. So I have had two people in my life recently, who were ones who had manipulated me before tell me "you've changed" to which i say to them...thank you! I know to them..its a bad thing..because i am not that same pushover person as before..but to me..its about me getting stronger and taking care of myself for a change.

Here in lies the problem though...when you start to do that...it becomes an extremely lonely time. What good is taking care of me if it is just gonna leave me by myself? Peace of mind is not all its cracked up to be if others are out enjoying their time and because I wasnt willing to compromise....I am left alone...saying..well at least i have my pride..which is little consolation. I know that down the line i will find people who appreciate the "new me" but until then..it sucks to the big time! I just pray that i don't take for granted the people and things in my life that most people and especially those in my life, do. it's all a big learning process and sometimes those wheels turn awfully slow.

July 27, 2009
11:28 am
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atalose
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Oops,

It’s called “in the mean time place” and yes at times it can feel lonely. It’s a place from where we look back not go back! And a place where for many of us we finally see a positive future yet it’s still in the distance, we haven’t quite gotten there yet.

Compromise comes in all different forms too; we don’t have to compromise our morals or beliefs and if your friends are expecting that of you and leaving you out because of it, then it’s time to find some new friends because they are definitely not your friends.

When you mention taking for granted the people and things in your life, what do you mean?

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

July 27, 2009
5:40 pm
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OopsADaisyFuentes
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Atalose..thank you for always responding and giving your input..it means more than you know.

Today i hit another breaking point..I am sooooooo over the drama! I have been getting yelled at from every direction of people in my life. Someone is crabby...they take it out on me..someone has a bad history of relationships in the past..they assume I am the next on the list...i dont jump at the command of someone else..they delete me from their lives. Pffffft! This is what i was referring to when i said taking people for granted. They all take me for granted and i am really not gonna put up with it anymore. I don't need more drama in my life..i dont need more questions and push and pull...i need solid friends who are gonna see me for who I am and love me in spite of it. Who are gonna treasure the time we spend together and appreciate it rather than expect it. (I have been guilty of that one myself and it's eyeopening.) I've given away way too much of myself and its time to claim some of that back. If they truly love and accept me..that will be just fine in their book...if not..i cannot do anything about that.

This thread originated about my ex. And i have seen her in action the last few days and I am proud to say..am NOT phased by her anymore. I still and will always love her..but i am done with the pity parties and drama. I wish her the best and if she ever gets her head screwed on tight..we could maintain a friendship..but until then..*hands her back her bag of issues* not mine to handle anymore.

Even the most well meaning of people can suck the life out of you or take a piece of your soul if you let them..I am working to regain that back and be a better stronger friend and person etc...I've lost too many friends lately and I dread losing more..but being a friend to MYSELF is step one. 😀

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