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Online Dating... Does it work?
October 18, 2006
1:29 pm
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ShortCake
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Currently, I am focusing on my life and working on educating myself mentally (codep. books) and phycically getting in shape (just got a gym membership). Its time for me.... I am newly out of a relationship where the guy decided he wanted to be just friends. We are trying the friendship route and its tough and full of confusing signs... My past thread shows all the details of that situation (THREAD - Slept with my ex - who is my friend). I am not wanting to date right now because I don't feel ready or healthy enough, but I have questions and thoughs regarding online dating...

I am wonder what others think about this topic. Maybe one day when I feel healthy enough to start dating again, I will know if this is a route I want to take or not....

ANY THOUGHTS WELCOME!!!!

Shortcake

October 18, 2006
1:39 pm
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StronginHim77
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shortcake -

I have heard "success" stories about online dating and "horror" stories. I, myself, tried it two years ago. Met a man who seemed WONDERFUL. We finally met, dated briefly, then married. He turned out to be a narcissist with SERIOUS issues. I ended up leaving him 6 days later. It was a nightmare. He dropped the "mask," as soon as he said "I do."

So, be cautious because alot of genuine people are out there on those sites, but also alot of predators and people with serious issues.

- Strong

October 18, 2006
1:56 pm
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2alone
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I've done the on-line thing. I've met some wonderful guy friends and dated a narcissist or two. I think its the same as dating in real world - you have to be on guard with your heart. On-line you can fall prey to the bigger better deal...he may think you're fine but cutie number 2 wants him and he's not going to commit any time soon. You also have to be strong enough to handle some level of rejection...because it will happen and its not you its them 99/9% of the time.

I'd be happy to help you with your profile wording. My advice is do a lot of research on which site you want before you give money to it. I've had the best quality of men from Chemistry - owned by match.com. Good luck!
2alone

October 18, 2006
2:05 pm
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MissNhimnotWantN2
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Well my experience has been this: If you meet someone online. Plan to meet them right away...do not continue to talk and email them over a period of a few months. If you dont meet within a few weeks...month tops.....your setting yourself up for a bigger dissapointment if it doesnt meet your expectations.

October 18, 2006
7:16 pm
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Robert123
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I dabbled in the online dating thing on Match.com. I had a hard time taking it very seriously. There would be a profile of some woman and in it she would say for her weight "Average". Then I would look at her picture and she was clearly overweight, I would not have put her in the average category on weight...above average yes. There were other inconsistencies as well, age, smoking, marital status etc.
The kicker was when I saw an exgf on there one day. I was really taken back and kind of..."concerned", for the next guy she meets. I wondered if this was all there was to choose from and if everyone on there had serious issues like her. It scared me enough to let my subscription run out. I only tried it for 3 months. Maybe it works for some and it was an educating experience for me but, I would rather meet someone in person and start off the relationship like that.

October 18, 2006
7:54 pm
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ShortCake
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Thanks for everyone comments so far. I like hearing about other people and what they have been through. It helps, not sure if I will ever do the online thing.... Like Robert wrote, I would rather meet them in person.

Until I figure my next step out dating wise, I am going to continue to work on myself and go to the gym, read my books and post / read threads on this website. I have found tons of kind words and great advice.

Thanks everyone!

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