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Once bite....twice shy
September 26, 2003
11:42 pm
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unhappy camper
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What if another man seems really nice and then I find out horrible secrets about him too? I didn't know my husband was such a drinker or violent or needy or weird etc. I know he lived in another country but we talked 3 or 4 times a day every day and we were never out of each other's reach. How could I have missed it.

What if I miss it again? How can I trust that anyone is good and decent....just because they seem to be? How will I know they won't turn on me too?????

September 27, 2003
3:22 am
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ms.confused
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we never really know usually until its too late..But we have to be aware and listen to our inner voice (because it never lies to us) We often see signs way before any problems arise but we dont pay attention to what we tell ourselves. Listen to your inner voice.. you will know..I know im not getting into another relationship without doing the same 🙂 (winks at ya)

September 27, 2003
9:02 am
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unhappy camper
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Yes...ms.confused...we need to have our radar on high and our antennas up be suspicious of their every move and word and thought.

But don't let them notice.

September 27, 2003
11:58 am
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free
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Unhappy camper

Realizing that you might get involved in another unhealthy relationship is half the battle. Whe I started to feel emotionally involved, I told him that I needed him to meet my therapist before our relationship could continue. He was GREAT about it. My therapist gave him the thumbs up. Not an abuser, not controlling, a good-kind-hearted man who I could develop a healthy relationship with. that was about four years ago. And we're still together. So I'd say, yeah, be a little scared, but don't let it get in the way of meeting new people. Being scared protects you. But don't let it rule your life. Do you have a therapist you could take a man to?

hugs to you

free

September 27, 2003
6:56 pm
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unhappy camper
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Wow...what a cool idea. It's wonderful your guy was understanding. He makes up for the one who hurt you.

🙂

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