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On My Own
May 17, 2006
8:25 pm
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NancyT
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September 27, 2010
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Well here is my story married 24years to an recovering addict/alcoholic and in Feb he told me he is not happy no more and moved out. For two months I have done nothing but phone him email him and beg him. Well I wound up in the hospital psyco ward for two days and now go to intense therapy 5hours a day three days a week. I have so many years knowing alanon nar-anon but just lost it. Having a hard time detaching and focusing on me. Therapy will help but I am so afraid of the future and I have always planned it in our marriage and now I cant

May 17, 2006
9:02 pm
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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Hello, Nancy, and welcome to this site. I'm sorry for your pain and the feeling of despair. I've been where you are now, and I can relate to what you are going thru.

Al-Anon helped me alot, but I also had to learn, there were some measures that needed to be taken by me, and ONLY me. Al-Anon was there to show me and teach me about my choices and make me aware that I had options. But just like the addict or alcoholic, we need to admit our codependency along with "wanting" to change. The choice belongs to only us. And we need to accept that we do NOT have the power to change another, just ourselves.

Afterall, we codependents have been willing to change MANY times over, to suit the needs and lifestyles of another. So this time, we can use this "gift of change", and direct the attention on ourselves.

No, this is NOT easy! BUT the results are rewarding, and well worth the effort, if you're willing to try this.

Take care and keep posting!

Jennifer

May 18, 2006
2:07 pm
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smarterone
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you really should, at this time, join some kind of group for the support, friendship and confidence. Everyone needs someone, sometimes we need more. Good luck and god bless and know that you are not alone.

May 18, 2006
2:35 pm
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taj64
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September 30, 2010
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wow I can feel your pain through cyberspace. You know, it will be some time again before you are not so lost. You lost someone so important to you. I have been there quite a few times and it really is hard to get through. But the good news is that you do get through it. You will. 24 years is a lot of time invested in a marriage so allow yourself plenty of time to heal from it. See if you can get therapy of some sort to help you through it. Read books and just pour all your energy into YOU right now even if it doesn't feel comfortable.And cry a lot if it helps. Don't bury your pain. Let it out.

May 27, 2006
9:22 pm
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Anonymous
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Nancy, just bumping this up to see how you are doing.

Jen

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