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On my own again - Part 2
December 3, 1999
12:30 am
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KTHOMAS
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Hi Kitten...funny how you put it about the lessons we need to learn. I have often thought that life is nothing but one big lesson after another. And there are many lessons I am just not getting...so it appears that I have to keep experiencing the same lesson over and over. This is where I get angry at myself for not getting it. But I do believe in eternal life...I have to...there has been too many people I have lost to not hold onto it. I can't accept that I won't get to see those loved ones again. That would be most unbearable to me. Even if it is a fantasy...

December 3, 1999
12:30 am
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KTHOMAS
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OOPS!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

December 3, 1999
12:54 am
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kitten
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Hey Karin,

Thought I'd find you here, lurking amongst the keys.
I wonder if it is more than trying to learn the same lesson. If it is true Karma, maybe it is some type of stepping stone to the next thing. Perhaps Spirit or God was the first Cognitive Behavior Therapist. By reptition of appropriate behavior you learn to do things right from the beginning. Oversimplified I know, but maybe that is Karma. We do it over and over until we know every last detail of the pattern. I think of the Grandmother in the story "Beloved", who had a quilt made of different patches. All sedate and dull colors except for one patch. But she looked at that quilt every day till she knew exactly where each patch was. They all led to one spot of color.
Our lessons need to be learned just that way...and when we really know the patches, we will truly SEE the one spot of color. I don't know...maybe I did lose my marbles. Maybe when I got out on that ledge today I banged my head on the window sill. who knows.
I'm thinking maybe medication might not be such a bad idea!

December 3, 1999
8:54 am
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KTHOMAS
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Hello Kitten,

I have spent the last 30 minutes trying to figure out why my e mail is messed up. Isn't it always something. I am running late to work but just wanted to let you know I was here.

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