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Ok, Let's get this party going! We are at the BEACH! ArmyAngel, GRAB YOUR SUIT AND SUNBLOCK!!
October 15, 2006
10:05 pm
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ggfred4
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when i feel low it is usually because one little thing sends the pile of stuff tumbling down. No, I do not have the horrible problems that many have here...I am trying to change myself and deal with things better but it is harder than I thought. I really don't know, just down...

October 15, 2006
10:07 pm
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ggfred4
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I just can't seem to do things right..I am trying to make changes within, and I still screw things up with people.

October 15, 2006
10:08 pm
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ggfred4
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shouldn't have said this on this happy thread, that wasn't its purpose. Wish I did have a margarita, and I am not even a drinker.

October 15, 2006
10:09 pm
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lovinglife
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GG~ forget to tell you that alcohol is a depressant ; )

Tell me what your hopes for the future are. Was thinking about that just a bit ago… “Was GG thinking about personal hopes for the future…or all around hopes as in for the world…”

I got the start to mine here….that someday I will actually be sitting on a beach {and the North Shore – Lake Superior works for me just fine : ) } finally being able to just breath and know that my past is all behind me and its’ something I will never see again or feel like it was yesterday but so far removed from it.

October 15, 2006
10:10 pm
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lovinglife
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this is not just the happy thread...this is the thread where we are relaxing, letting go, and besides it's getting dark and time to tell stories around the campfire.

October 15, 2006
10:12 pm
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lovinglife
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Here if anyone wants to jump over our convo I'll put a
START of CONVO sign and then we can end it with END of CONVO sign. Hey this place is the perfect setting for just some good talking...ok here it goes....

START OF CONVO HERE!!!

October 15, 2006
10:13 pm
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ggfred4
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my hope is that I may one day love myself, have sound and honest relationships with people, forget about my past and only move forward, that my children are happy, that my husband and I develop a better relationship, and to feel inner peace on most days.

October 15, 2006
10:13 pm
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lovinglife
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are you still here cause I have some thoughts on something you said...

October 15, 2006
10:14 pm
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ggfred4
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yes

October 15, 2006
10:16 pm
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lovinglife
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ok first...you said..."when i feel low it is usually because one little thing sends the pile of stuff tumbling down." That happens or should say used to happen to me ALOT. It is a snowball effect, right?

October 15, 2006
10:16 pm
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ggfred4
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yes, i guess

October 15, 2006
10:20 pm
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lovinglife
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the reason why I asked I've done that so many times...a negetive thought will enter my mind and the next thing I know - I'm feeling hopeless, or heavyhearted....and that one thought leds to a million other negetive thoughts - usually about myself. I stop myself now when that starts and the days or moments are getting farther and fewer between.

October 15, 2006
10:22 pm
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ggfred4
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that's good to know...you can go get ready for work and I can put out the fire if you wish..

October 15, 2006
10:24 pm
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lovinglife
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GG - am I way off base here???

October 15, 2006
10:25 pm
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ggfred4
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what do you mean???

October 15, 2006
10:26 pm
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lovinglife
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keeping the fire going...Ok you mentioned something about that its been harder than you thought...

October 15, 2006
10:28 pm
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ggfred4
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trying to change myself, working on myself, just keep finding more and more things I don't like about myself...especially that I used to be strong and thrived on independence and something happened that I am now weak, a wuss, and cling to people when I shouldn't. Not real happy with me right now.

October 15, 2006
10:29 pm
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lovinglife
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off base as in you being able to relate at all?

and any change is tough...the easy road is stay on the one that we don't have to work for anything, but only wish, hope that things will change. You and I both know it doesn't work and hasn't worked for us. I too am on a similiar road as yourself, and slowly feel myself changing, not as fast as I'd like but thats ok with me now {would have never been able to say that 3 months ago}.. Do you feel yourself changing??

October 15, 2006
10:31 pm
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ggfred4
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I am trying, but keep having anxiety, fear, etc. I am also frustrating people around me. I am not giving up, just feeling low tonight.

October 15, 2006
10:34 pm
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ggfred4
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sorry, have to go

October 15, 2006
10:37 pm
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ggfred4
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sorry again, are you still around.

October 15, 2006
10:38 pm
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lovinglife
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and thats going to happen when we start looking at ourselves TOO MUCH -we start picking ourselves apart. It truly is learning to love ourselves. Tell you GG - this is the first time in my life I can actually say that I am just fine with me - and I say that very positively. I've hated me for so long - and that hate wasn't because of who I am or things I've done, but what’s happened to me - what’s been done to me. But I didn't see it that way...I internalized it, I owned it when I shouldn’t have as it wasn’t mine to own but someone’s else’s. I'm learning to let that go, give it up and just take it a day at a time. And the coolest thing is that I finally really like me : )

For me to be able to say what I just did above is a total miracle and total blessing. First time in my life I feel OK inside and can't wait til I feel great!!! But this will do for now : )

October 15, 2006
10:39 pm
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lovinglife
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Take care GG!! (((GG)))

END OF CONVO

October 15, 2006
10:39 pm
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ggfred4
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Congrats Loving, and thanks for helping others so much on this site

October 15, 2006
10:40 pm
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lovinglife
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we'll finish this convo when we both have more time.

Ok the fire needs another log here, it's going dim....anyone else have something to throw on????

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