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OK......I am REALLY grasping at straws here.....
November 13, 2006
3:43 pm
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truthBtold
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But just today, I was getting so bogged down and discouraged about all the things that have to be done around the house - that I decided to incorporate a football tactic for my own well being.

Background: This past Saturday, my fiancee and I went to a local sports bar (here in the south) that is the local chapter for his college in the north to watch a football game.

It was a room in the bar specifically geared towards all local fans for this particular college. 2 big screened TVs etc.

Well, as it turned out - each time his team made a touchdown and field goal - There would be this REALLY LOUD Band music which was played - rejoicing in the score.

So, today - I decided to borrow this "Cheering Section" idea to the simple tasks in my own life - in my head!

Case in point: I just now finished cleaning up some real nasty litter boxes....I'm talking NASTY....which I have been procrastinating for much too long now and caught my self NOT celebrating that - rather - to just dismiss it like I normally do and NOT giving myself credit for actually DOING something.....So, I decided to run my own little "Victory Marching Band" in my head - complete with cheerleaders and everything in an effort to just STOP and congratulate myself on a job well done.

Am getting ready to make the bed and fold the clothes - which once again - I will TAKE THE TIME to incorporate my own personal "Cheering Section."

I know that this might seem mighty strange -but Hell, I gotta find something to help me cope!!!!!!!

Has anyone else ever done something similiar to this?

November 13, 2006
4:08 pm
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truthBtold
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Incidentally, I forgot to add - the actual Song/March I have decided to play in my head is "Hail to The Chief" which is usually played for the US presidents.

November 13, 2006
4:34 pm
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thedogsmom
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ha ha. hello truthBtold.

well- I certainly have put EVERYTHING on a backburner...doing bills, cleaning house, getting medical check-ups......as I've wasted all my time, thoughts and energy...just worrying-obsessing -about HIM and our relationship problems.
So yes. I have procrastinated. I have not actually played "hail to the chief" for finally cleaning or doing my household chores...but LOVE the idea! Pats on the back to you for cleaning that nasty litterbox...and If you clean it sooner the next time.. I'll come up with a song to sing you too!
TDM

November 13, 2006
4:39 pm
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truthBtold
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Thanks TDM!!!!!!

Try it!

(I am looking to order the CD for myself - and to play it everytime I do just a little something that gets me out of this crappy "funk")

At this point - I will try ANYTHING!!!

Thanks for your response 🙂

November 13, 2006
4:53 pm
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Anonymous
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What an awesome idea! I love it and I actually chuckled when I read the name of the "song" in your head. Toooooooooo cute!

Along those same lines, I saw the most awesome movie last night called, "Facing the Giants". It was about a highschool football team that had never had a winning season, but finally made it to the state championships to play...the Giants. Fear almost got the best of them when they realized how big, fast, and powerful the giants were. But their coach reminded them of how far they had already come, and that they might not be as big and strong as the other team, but they had heart, and they could "outsmart" them. They ended up using a "trick" play, to even the score, then it came down to a necessary field goal kick that would determine the outcome. Of course, the kicker was named David (aka David and Goliath), and he was small and an unlikely hero. Yet he BELIEVED he could do something he had never done before (kick a 51 yard field goal) to win the game for his team!

The mind is such a powerful thing. If we talk down to ourselves, then we will live defeated lives. But when we cheer ourselves on as you are doing by singing a victory song to yourself for a job well done, then we soar! Way to go!

Love, Plz~

November 13, 2006
4:59 pm
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bevdee
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truthB-

Get mad about something!! When something really sets me off, my house is usually the better for it in 2-3 hours!

Bevdee

November 13, 2006
5:14 pm
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truthBtold
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Thanks PLZ! I teared up and got goose bumps all up & down when I read your post about the movie. I am so happy when someone "gets me" Thank you so much for your encouragement!!! 🙂

(Yeah to "ME" rah, rah, rah!!!!!)

BevDee, thanks for your response as well!!! I have a real problem getting in touch with my "angry side"
part of the depression....but am working towards it.

Usually what sets me off to go out into a massive cleaning spree is when someone is coming to visit...but then, the cleaning is more "shame-induced" because I really don't want them to know how I REALLY live.

Anyway, thank you both!!!!

November 13, 2006
5:31 pm
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thedogsmom
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ha ha..truthB told.
you're too honest. you crack me up. I clean when I am good and MAD. Depression stops me from doing ANYTHING.. and I clean when I have guests! funny.
keep tooting your own horn. It does help!.
TDM

November 13, 2006
5:48 pm
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truthBtold
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WOW - these posts are really giving me a much needed shot in the arm....Thanks!!!!

I know that I am too honest as people I deal with can tell EXACTLY what I am thinking by the mere expression on my face!

Comes from living alone for many years with a bunch of cats, I guess....if my cats ever do something that I disapprove of...I don't even have to say anything....I just look at them with a "surprised look" on my face with my eyebrows extended...and they get the message.

Guess that this has sort of spilled out to my human counterparts as well!!! heh heh!!!!

November 16, 2006
6:29 am
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truthBtold
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UPDATE: I can not tell you how incredible it has been for me to finally just S T O P (this is key...)and take the time to feel...well, actually PROUD of myself these past couple of days!!!!

A TRUE MILESTONE!!!!!!

Better than any therapy I have ever been involved in...........to just take the time and apply the same ole patterns which I used to CONSTANTLY berate myself with...not enough of this, still have "that" to do, never good enough and on and on and on....and just SHIFT that same "PATTERN of thinking" to the simple....I'm talking - very simple tasks/ACCOMPLISHMENTS which I have done lately....like clean the litter box, take a shower, shave my legs, wash the sheets, do the dishes...and just relish (over and over again) in my accomplishments about these simple tasks.

WHOA!!!!
Incredible!!!!

I suddenly realized - much to my amazement - that my deep felt shame about myself has ACTUALLY LIFTED for the FIRST TIME in 46 YEARS!!!!!!

To just GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION to take pleasure in myself for just the very simple things that I am ACTUALLY DOING versus all of the bullshit and crap regarding what I am constantly lacking in and what I did and have been doing "Wrong" all these many decades.

DAMN!!!! Now why in the hell didn't any one of my many therapists, (some of which I paid $125 for 45 minutes) ever introduce me to this exercise?????

(My gut feeling is that they never, ever dealt with their own shame to begin with....)

It really flies slap in the face of shame and introduces some other alternatives.......

My heart is all the lighter....and I have just myself....(NOT to BLAME...as would be the status quo.....)but in the truest of senses......I have myself to... CONGRATULATE!!!!!!

YEAH......ME!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS A FREEBIE AVAILABLE TO ALL!!!!!

Life - for me - from now on - will be dramatically different and much better - for the first time in my life!!!!

November 16, 2006
8:39 am
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truthBtold
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can i get a witness?????

November 16, 2006
9:56 am
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truthBtold
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Is NO ONE going to acknowledge the INCREDIBLE work that I have undergone recently....and to which I openly and completely
share with fellow cyber-friends at no cost?????

Geeeeshhh!!!!

Some damn body ought to be able to relate................!!!!!!!!

November 16, 2006
11:29 am
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mj
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Have you ever examined why you have a need to be validated? For me, I have these same thoughts of being ignored and then I realized that I could validate myself. See my thread, What my world needs now. Self validation is the truest form of validation!

November 16, 2006
12:14 pm
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truthBtold
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That's the point - in a nutshell...to simply find ways to validate (and lessen the shame) of our ownselves....through - our - own selves.

To nuture our simplist accomplishments with the same vigor which we would normally reserve for beating ourselves up.....over and over again......only....transferred to a much more natural and self-loving plane!!!!!

Easy-Peasy!!!!!

November 16, 2006
5:17 pm
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gayle
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TruthB- Very cool Congrats! You have given me a new persective to consider my self! Thank you!

November 16, 2006
9:11 pm
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doubleloss
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i like that. i need to find my cheering theme... and heck! the team of mind cheerleaders...they'll have the cutest little outfits.

November 17, 2006
12:11 pm
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turnabout
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I'm terribly proud of you, truthB. This type of progress in changing your attitude toward yourself is a significant stride. The "private cheering section" is a wonderful idea and well-deserved in practice. If no one else cheers for us, we can still cheer for ourselves in our accomplishments, can't we.

Reminds me of potty training.... NO ... REAALLY! In a good way, of course. You train a child to use the potty with positive reinforcement, praising them every time they manage the self-control of using the potty. When you step back and look at it objectively, it seems quite a silly thing to praise a person for, but when put into context, everyone realizes that such a small feat is a big accomplishment for the child. It's a completely new behavior for them and completely contradictory to everything they've known to that point. Of course they deserve excessive praise!!!

So, if a wee child deserves praise for accomplishing such a mundane and unsavory task, don't we all deserve praise in the same way when we step out of our comfort zones to accomplish anything, no matter how mundane the achievement may seem to someone else. You just have to put it into context!!

On a similar note, I once read in a book about conquering procrastination a suggestion of rewarding oneself by a point system for accomplished tasks. The more difficult a task is to accomplish, the higher its points value. Then create a reward system based on the points. It could be something as simple as a bubble bath or extravagant as a dream vacation. You decide how many points each reward is worth, and then don't allow yourself the reward until that number of points is accomplished.

I used it for a short time to limited success. I think I went for the big rewards too early. Should have gone for daily rewards to begin with. But I still think it's a cool idea.

Kudos again, truthB!

turn

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