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Oh well, I caved in.
May 2, 2005
12:47 pm
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2bstrong
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I sent an e-mail to the ex. I figured that was a little less personal than the phone call.

I have to start all over again on the NC rule.

I have seriously been considering moving out of state. I'm not just saying that.

May 2, 2005
1:00 pm
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RLH
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Moving out of the state, I think, will not prevent you from no contact 'cuz there's the internet, but it happens. I also broke the n/c rule and took it a step further. I felt like he still loved me, but of course I haven't heard from him since. Anyway, is there anything/anyone important that you would leave behind if you moved? Sometimes I also think of doing this but I think to myself that the problem is still going to be in my head and heart. If you feel that moving is the best thing then go for it! This is a big decision you have to make, but we support you here. Much Love RLH.

May 2, 2005
1:28 pm
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CAMER
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even if you caved in, its no big deal, just start over again with the NC rule and go a lil' bit longer. Its ok! no body is perfect.
((camer))

May 2, 2005
2:33 pm
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kc30
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2b- You've gotta do what works for you...it's almost like an addiction isn't it? I'm an on/off smoker, and I found it was just like that...you don't WANT to smoke, but you just can't see past THAT CIGARETTE and can't think of anything but THAT CIGARETTE. And then you have it, and the urge is gone, and you say "why did I do that?" Some people quit cold turkey, some cut down gradually, some never quit!!

Just remember this, whether he writes back and says go fuck yourself loser, or writes back that you are the most incredible thing that he has ever met, or never, ever responds.....no matter what...you are still YOU...the exact same.

Don't let him dictate whether or not you are worthy of love and respect. No matter what the fallout- you are still the same person after, as you were before...the same person you have always been...and you are good enough. Will he write? Won't he? Doesn't matter because you don't change either way. Just because he may respond doesn't mean you are better than you are if he doesn't respond.

It's YOUR opinion of you that means something. Not his.

So....did you hear anything back from him? Keep me posted!

kc

May 2, 2005
2:54 pm
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2bstrong
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camer: thanks for the support. Can always count on you for a virtual hug.

kc: Yeah, it's exactly like a drug, and I KNOW I didn't need it...but I wanted it. I wanted out of obsession hell. Once I did it, I felt great relief, and I sent it not expecting a reply, although knowing myself--that "no expectation thing" will crumble. My test for myself is not to panic. To try and say, if he is such an asshole that he can't even reply, then that's the message I need to hear. His loss. He's the one who said I hope we can be friends. Is that classic or what?

It was only four sentences. Not a novel, that's for sure.

He's a passive-aggressive type, so I don't expect to hear from him today.

I will keep everyone posted.

I'm worried about dmurphy. He's really in a pit today.

May 2, 2005
2:58 pm
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kc30
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Mine's passive/agressive too...the worst kind really .

I just wrote him too....he's really down. I feel bad...I've been there man, and it SUCKS!

May 2, 2005
3:02 pm
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dustygirl
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It's amazing how many times I have felt like moving away - I am in that mode right now. I moved 1-1/2 from my b/f about 6 months ago and still managed to drive to see him 5 times a week. He never came out and saw me.
I know moving isn't the answer, but it just seems like it would help. All it would do is make it harder to go and see him, but I will still wait by the phone, hoping and praying he will call - obsessing over the what if's and all the same crap as if I was living right next door to him.

I don't know what the answer is, but to give ourselves time and to believe in ourselves. Everyday I wake up and feel like I can't go one if he doesn't call, or doesn't want me anymore. we need to make a consious effort to turn our negative thoughts into positive ones.

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