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oh, quilter where are you?
October 6, 2006
12:54 am
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cpt1212
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October 7, 2006
1:36 am
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quilter
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I am here. Just havn't felt up to posting the past couple of weeks. I will try to do better.
How are you doing? Things ok
Thinking of you.

October 7, 2006
11:30 pm
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cpt1212
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yes, i have been here too, and just not felt up to posting either. i am doing okay. i have started to let work slide so i need to get back to going again every day, i really don't know why i avoid it. i like my job and feel lousy when i don't go in.

my house is quiet tonight for the first time in months. i have had a friend and her baby staying with me and her husband comes on the weekends and my nephews come on the weekend and so it gets pretty crazy around here. but my friend's mother in law came to town for the weekend and i suggested that they stay at the hotel with them cause i was WAY past needing a break and now i am lonely and kinda sad. i should probably make up my mind.

October 10, 2006
3:29 am
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cpt1212
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i am really upset about realizing that i am codep. i dont know how to care for myself and i don't know how not to put others first. i don't know what else there is

October 10, 2006
2:08 pm
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quilter
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I have been reading your other posts on about codep.I don't know much about codep but trying to learn more about it. Don't you suppose we all have a little bit of all the symptoms described? Dont be so hard on yourself. We all have roles that we seem to play in our family. I often find myself in the caretaker role with my siblings. I think you have that role as well especially with your nephews , but I think you want what is best for them and that is why you do what you are doing. I honestly believe that we are here for a reason and maybe part of that reason is you are here to help take care of your nephews. That is something to take pride in, if you help them to have a more productive life. Although on the other hand , I suppose if you spend all your time on others and not on yourself that is not good either. I find it very hard to take care of myself. Almost like I am not deserving of that. I ended up this last saturday spending most of the day sleeping. Yes there was other things I should have been doing but I really needed to get some extra sleep and just not deal with anyone. When all of your company left how did you feel? I think it was a brave thing for you do say they needed to stay in a hotel for the weekend. That was taking care of your needs wasn't it?
Just try not to be so hard on yourself. I think we can find our selves in description if we look hard enough. Take some of those good qualities and work with them. Hope to hear from you.
Quitler

October 11, 2006
12:56 pm
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quilter
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