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Obsession with old boyfriend
September 5, 2006
8:36 pm
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sook
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Obsessed with exboyfriend
This is complicated so I will break it down. (1) First marriage to abusive alcoholic (2) Second marriage to abusive alcoholic and drug user (3) Engaged and broke engagement to controlling person (4) Dated a guy but he broke it off. I got too serious and he was not into me as much. He was just getting out of a serious relationship. 8 months later...I am still crazy about him and would do anything to get back with him. (5) Last exhusband has been trying to reconcile. I told him tonight what I wanted out of a relationship. I told him if you promise to either do or not do these things, I will reconcile. (We have a 6 year old son that I am scared to death will be scared by divorce). The last thing I told him is I want him to do a drug test. He refused saying it was a trust issue and left. I see that as a sign of guilt. Is that fair to him? I only wanted him to pee in a cup.
I have effectively pushed everyone out of my life. Obsessed with exboyfriend but dont know how to tell him without making a fool of myself. He had all the qualities I look for in a man and I lost it. Now I am alone and may stay this way with my persistance in pushing people away. I do not like this feeling. I have been extremely depressed but trying to hide it. I am not sure that I am or not. Is it normal to be obsessed with a past love? How can I not pursue it and never know if it could of been or not. He has made no effort to contact me. The writing must be on the wall for me. But my X has told everyone that we are reconciling so he may think I am off limits. I need closure on this. What should I do about the X boyfriend?

September 5, 2006
8:46 pm
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doubleloss
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sook, for what you say here xboyfriend doesn't want you, you said it h"he was not into me as much".
could it be that at this point you just need to have someone there with you -even if they don't want you?

Exhusband 2 is a drug addict that doesn't want to do a drug test, do you really want to spend the rest of your life handing pee cups to see if he's being straight? mmmhh.

I think you've come to the right place here, most of us are dealing with painful experiences in toxic relationships. It is a very hard time and a hard place to be. Take sometime before you decide to pursue xboyfriend or reconcile with exhusgand. Try to learn about yourself, your motives, your pains, heal and THEN there will be healthy room for men. You mentioned you ahve a 6 year old child. Your child needs a healthy mother that loves herself.

I think it is SO normal to be obsessed with a past love, is just not healthy, it becomes torture, I know.

Read the threads, read the No Contact -revelations, so much info. Keep posting and take care. double

September 7, 2006
6:56 pm
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sook
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My X refused a drug test. I put my foot down and he said he had alot of distrusts that he could not prove with a test with me. I asked him several times and he said no several times. He had already made plans to leave for the weekend and told me that he had moved on. I feel like I am and our family is worth more than any bag of weed thad you could ever buy or use. Although, I obsess and long to be back with the exboyfriend, I would of gone back to the Xhusband for the sake of our son. I am feeling feeling totally worthless. I am an attractive, female with blonde hair, nice body, great home, nice vehicles, job security and rich parents. I do not go out to bars or sleep around. I go to church every Sunday. All of my friends (that I have lost contact with now) are married. I am a good catch. I know this but seems no one else does.

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