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Obsessing
November 6, 2004
2:31 pm
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princess44
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September 30, 2010
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I was married for 18 years and realized my codependency. I now realize what I do. I think I am a pretty together woman raising two great kids, good career. I have been pretty careful about not doing the dating scene too much because I felt concerned about keeping my kids priority. I have done that to some extent but I have been feeling concerned lately that I am getting older and that I should at least try and have friendships with boundaries. I finally took the initiative and called a guy I met at a wedding of a mutual friend. He met me for lunch but is extremely busy as well with his three girls. I find that he isn't really as enthusiastic as I would like. I find myself checking my cell phone regularly to see if he has called. I don't like the feeling of obsessing. Maybe I should just not try. It takes so much thinking and seems to be such an effort. I definitely will not call again. It's in his court. It seems he has his life set and is comfortible. Not great conversationalist on the phone. I know he finds me attractive because of comments he made to others. Sorry this is so long. Any suggestions? Feeling like I am all dressed up with nowhere to go.

November 6, 2004
3:37 pm
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CAMER
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hey Princess, do you have things to do during the day when you are with your kids??? put them as first focus in your life, and your career too...then you will be always doing something, instead of checking to see if HE called. Try to keep busy and active in your life, thats the best thing...he must be doing this too, cuz he has 3 kids also. Does it bother you that he is not a great conversationalist on the phone, do you both have a lot in common an could you pick up with your instincts that this may work for "dating"??? good luck

November 9, 2004
9:22 pm
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princess44
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Thank you, Camer. You reminded me of what I already knew in my heart and mind. For the last six years I have put my life aside for my children and will continue to do so until they are up and out which is right around the corner with my daughter a senior next year. I have many blessings I just got nuts over the weekend. Thank you for your help.

November 9, 2004
9:58 pm
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CAMER
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hi Princess, have you tried reading any books lately by either Melody Beattie or Robin Norwood, they have some great books and I guarantee you will be able to find yourself in parts of the books. Also there are coda meetings, which I have been to for almost 3 years, and they are the greatest, they are live local meetings thruout the U.S. if interested go to the website
http://www.coda.org for lots of info. Good luck honey. (((camer))))

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