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obsessed with what is wrong with me..
October 5, 2001
1:30 am
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shugarmagnolya
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September 27, 2010
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im just so tired of feeling this way, it seems to change all of the time. This has been going on for three years. I think i am manic depressive and i think it runs in my family. I'm so up and down, i go through periods where im a crazed maniac and hyperactive. NOt really happy but just like im on speed or something. I get stressed over little things. At times i feel like a mean irritable person. Like there is this warm loving person hidden under a tangled web of emotions. Sometimes my chest feels like its keeping everything im feeling captive and wont even let me know what emotions are locked inside. I gave in and started trying out different meds. Ever since i started, its made things worse. I had a bad reaction to welbutrin, neurontin, serzone. I had to go to the emergency room twice for bad reactions to the smallest dosages. After my last trip to the emergency room i went off meds for a week and things were worse, i had more anxiety, i had more crying spells. I always worried alot but then i started get panic attacks. I think im starting to become agoraphobic because im so obsessed over what is wrong with me, give me a label or something....my anxiety increases the longer this quest for help continues. I've been going to a therapist and we've been struggling to put a label on this mess....bipolar, add, anxiety, depression for months now????? To know what is wrong so we could treat it...I started taking Celexa, its helped me with the intense anxiety but im not too sure about the depression...
all these meds seem to f*$&k with my body so much, im only 100 lbs! Im so sensitive to things. I just saw a website for this group in Canada that supposedly helped many with an alternative all-natural combination of vitamens....im willing to give it a shot, ill try anything....

October 5, 2001
11:41 am
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Cici
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September 24, 2010
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I have a chronic illness that prevents me from being able to tolerate anti-depressant meds. I completely sympathize with you and I know where you're coming from!

Firstly I wanted to address your question about bipolar mood disorder. You usually see intense elation and super-productivity in manic episodes. Even hypomanic (less severe) episodes involve increased productivity, talkativeness and artifically elevated mood.

The irritability you mention is very common, however, in depressed patients. It's usually the first sign of severe depression, disguised as irritability. Agoraphobia can accompany panic attacks because you become conditioned too fear the attacks and want to be home and away from prying eyes when you do have an attack.

For me, I struggled constantly for many, many years. I tried various meds, even tranquilizers like xanax and valium to help with panic attacks. They were not indicated because of past addiction problems for me.

What has helped most, and this is not something you haven't heard, was creating an exercise regimine. Due to my illness I can't always exercise every day but I try to at least every other day. Yoga has been a big help, and recently my husband bought me a punching bag to help with my frustration!! It's been a turnaround I could never have dreamed of.

This summer, in June, I became severely depressed and attempted suicide. The doctor prescribed anti-depressants, but I never got around to filling the prescription. I was at the point where I didn't wash myself and barely got out of bed on a day to day basis. I missed an entire month of work.

Part of the recovery involved me sitting in the dark at 4am one morning and realizing I actually wanted to get better. The next step was taking walks when I started to get anxious or depressed. Then I bought a 6 video series from Living Arts on Iyengar yoga, on a whim. I was hooked! I bought a mat, I had a hobby for the first time in 3 years! After I do yoga, I feel so relaxed, filled with calm energy rather than exhausting nervous energy, and it lasts for hours. The punching bag is the newest addition, and after taking out my frustration for a few minutes I feel like a huge weight has been taken off my back.

I recently read an interesting article:
http://content.health.msn.com/.....1728.90004

Think about it. It may save your life.

October 5, 2001
12:13 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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I totally support what Cici, suggests, as well as testing for food alergies. They are chemicals too ya know. Usually its the last thing doctors do, my nephews both were victims of MD's pills antibiotics, labeled add, yada yada, and they were allergic!! ya just don't know, and there are so many chemicals in the house, cleaners, soaps, sprays, repellant, the list goes on and on, we take it for granted, but something as simple as that can make you off balanced. I would try that before ingesting more chemicals.

October 5, 2001
2:55 pm
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Cici
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Oh yeah, I totally forgot to mention that but it's a great point, Molly.

Diet and nutrition is such an integral part of our health that we take it for granted. Something as simple as a systemic yeast infection can cause severe depression and anxiety just because of little one-celled organisms.

Evaluate your diet. Are you eating a lot of bread, refined sugar, caffiene? You don't have to cut it all out and go granola, but it's important to strike a balance. You know when your body is outof whack and what you should be eating....:)

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