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Now what?
August 25, 2000
11:35 am
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Venus22107
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September 29, 2010
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Have you ever just stopped and looked around yourself and realized that you have absolutely no control over what happens in your life? You hold your hands over your ears and scream at the top of your lungs and yet there is no sound. Day by day passes you by and it's the same old routine. Get up, get dressed, go to work, go home, feed the kids, say hi to your husband/boyfriend, and fall into bed. I miss my boyfriend and i practically live with him. We've become so distant in such a short amount of time. I know we are stressed and that there is alot going on in both of our lives. But i need him. Not psychologically, but emotionally. I need to know that he's "okay" with what has happened. We lay in bed at night, cuddled in each others arms, wanting and needing to make love, but we are too tired to put forth the energy. We are both in the construction industry and although it is somewhat nice being in the same industry, just in different aspects, it is also extremely frustrating. We both know the industry and the time demands, the physical exhaustion of his day, the mental exhaustion of mine. I look at him sometimes when he's asleep and i feel my heart swell with love and pride. But then comes a sadness that i can't stand. I want to reach out to him and say "let's leave tyler at your mom's and go away for the week". But i don't because i already know the answer. In two short weeks we have managed to see each other every single day, sleep together every single night, and not spend one minute "together". I miss him and i want him back yet he isn't really "gone". I know that this stressful time in our lives will pass, but when? Why does it always seem to come one right after the other? And why does it always happen when things couldn't be better? - Venus

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