Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Now it's getting dirty...boundaries contd
February 3, 2005
11:58 am
Avatar
kc30
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You may have read up earlier on what's going on with my husband- an attempt to set boundaries..

Now, he's using very personal things I've told him (about some promiscuity 10 years ago- long before I knew him) against me, and has slyly implied that I got pregnant with this baby on purpose, to trap him, and that he's the fool for falling for it.

That's just nasty and low, and I'm really really hurt that he would take things to such a personal level.

Why the hell would i want to trap an asshole who lies to me, cheats on me, uses me, and treats me like crap? Why would I saddle myself with the unbelievable responsibility of raising not two, but 3 children alone, just to keep him! What kind of a fucking idiot is he? (venting)

You can't imagine how badly that hurts...to call my integrity into question like that. I don't know what to do or say...he makes me fucking sick right now...I don't even want to look at him.

he's living in MY basement, rent free and fucking his girlfriend...and he has the balls to attack me! Oh, forget it, as hard as I try, I can't even get mad. It just hurts.

Please, someone, help.

February 3, 2005
12:33 pm
Avatar
eve
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How fast can you get him out of your basement and out of your life?

This sucks, sorry that you feel this pain!

February 3, 2005
12:40 pm
Avatar
dustygirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

kc30 - stop allowing this man to treat you like shit, a doormat - and he is doing all of this in front of your children. do they know he has another woman coming over at night? What type of example is this for them.

I am sorry - but change the locks on your doors, get a restraining order, whatever it takes to get this man out of your life. He's only lashing out and trying to hurt you, but you don't deserve that and you don't need him.

February 3, 2005
12:44 pm
Avatar
gazelle
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Aha! I had no idea he has a girlfriend. Now I see. He is attacking your integrity because he knows his own is non-existent. By picking up on something irrelevant from a decade ago, he is desperately trying to deflect attention from his own behaviour. It's called "blaming the victim." It's the only 'weapon' he has. (Besides sarcasm, and control-freakiness.) At some level, he knows how nasty & immoral he is being doing that. He ought to know how unfair and hurtful he is - and he can't live with that. So instead of facing his own conscience, he tries to blame you. Using deeply personal information in this way is despicable. Information that you presumably gave him in trust and hoping for understanding, forgiveness & love. I know it's hard, but try to realise that the past is the past, and don't let it dent your self-esteem. That was then and this is now. You are brave and honest and true. You face reality and try to make it better. That is heroic - not his cowardly kicks below the belt.
He is afraid because he is in the weak position. His conscience is working overtime to disguise himself to himself - and it's not working.
Have you read my reply on your second thread? I'd love to know if I was anywhere near the mark.

Enjoy your lovely children and their love to cheer yourself up. Keep faith in yourself.
And here's a huge hug and lots of strengthening, healing vibes to you. - Gazelle.

February 3, 2005
12:47 pm
Avatar
addicts wife
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh Lord... He is grasping at straws, and pushing buttons he has no business even looking at.. He is insecure,NASTY, and downright MEAN.
If you cna safely get him out of your house, DO IT, otherwise, You should find refuge somewhere... Get him out of your environment!!!!!! YOU are NOt a doormat, You are not the game player... YOu do NOt deserve to be emotionally , verbally or Spritually abised. PERIOD... Cut your tied to this manipulative, napolean complex, peter pan syndrome scummmy MEAN bully......
He is lasjhing out at you, by misplaceing his anger, and insecurities on you.... IT TOTALLY sucks, and I am soooooo sorry hes causing you all this pain, and torment, but I think (for your sanity, and to spare your children the angusih of what he's doingto you, you should find a way OUT.... Be strong, hang in there!!!

February 3, 2005
12:50 pm
Avatar
tracylyn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

IGNORE HIM, IGNORE HIM, IGNORE HIM.....he is only doing this to get a rise out of you because he CAN.

He's lost all control over you, he can't control you anymore so he will just keep finding ways to get to you. If he knows his words will hurt you, send you into this....then they will keep on coming. If he gets no reaction....eventually he'll give up.

Like a cat playing with a mouse, it's fun until it dies...then they walk away because if there is no reaction it's no more fun.

Stay strong....

t

February 3, 2005
1:02 pm
Avatar
kc30
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you thank you a million times over...I wouldn't have survived this day without your support, everyone.

This is bullshit- all because I wouldn't clean the house the way he wants! What an asshole.

I have not given him the satisfaction of a response. I've read that you'll catch some flack for setting boundaries, but holy hell...this is nuts.

Well, I know now that divorce is best, so that's one good thing that's come of this. I know this prick very well...the only way to handle this is to outclass him and not give him the reaction he's trying so hard to get...me going snaky, crying, calling him names, etc.

I also know that he will not leave if I tell him to go. Guess the only alternative is to take the higher path (god give me strength) I figure, as Traclyn said, if I don't play the game, he'll either step up or get so uncomfortable with the turnign of the tables that he'll leave of his own volition.

He wasn't always like this...he used to be decent and kind. He's lost to everyone who knew him...even his closest friends. I'll pray he finds his way back...for the sake of my kids.

February 3, 2005
5:00 pm
Avatar
tracylyn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey kc,

He's become like this because his whole life is out of control. He probably always had you to control which satisfied his "need". By control I mean, you catered to his needs, you were the peacekeeper and kept him happy. He's now lost, he knows his life has taken a really bad turn but instead of admit that....he reflects it back on you so he doesn't have to think about this Hell he has created for himself. He makes you out to be the "bad" one to make himself feel better and so he doesn't have to take a real look at who he has become.

So he's living in your house and gets upset about the way you clean it? Ha, then he should go get a hotel room and have maid service. Let a paid staff be at his beckon call...not you.

Just remember to walk the higher ground. Don't stupe to his level...it's beneath you and you are way better than that.

It sounds like you do need to make some immediate plans to move him out. Your life will get so much easier. Your home should be your "safe place", not a place where the demons lurk.

Again....be strong....I heard it in your voice last week....DO NOT give away your power.

t

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
30
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110935
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38543
Posts: 714223
Newest Members:
jessicawales, documentsonline, SafeWork, thomasalina, genericsmartdrugs, 才艺
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer