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Not a great day!
January 12, 2006
8:51 am
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Sophie3012
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I'm still set for therapy but I feel half dead today.
I was thinking shall I tell my family everything from secrets and all, at the risk of tearing the family apart or just wallow on in secret knowing they no nothing of my life, what would you do? What shall I do?
They don't know I was assulted by this man when I was 14 he only feeled me up that I have nearly tried to finished my life 4 times
that did some damage but that doesn't bother me anymore I just wanna clean out the closet. I have been abit of a reject in grammar, now at college only in some classes I had a circle of friends, thank god.Someone told me when I was 12 it will be your fault if you mum dies as she is usually ill that hurt me and that is why I stopped talking at a guess. I don't know what is best?

January 12, 2006
8:56 am
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Relationship Failure
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Hi,

Talk to your family.
You have come so far already by realising that this incident when you were 14 has had an affect on you.
I actually got a fright when I read your thread because my ex bf recently broke it off with me after 5 years and he had a similar experience. I'm not sure how old he was at the time.
He told me about it once, said the same as you - "he just felt me up" and then we never spoke about it again. - My mistake. I thought he was ok about it at the time but now I don't think so.
Make sure your family know that its affecting you and tell them you need their help. I know if you explain to them how your feeling they will be more insightful than I was.
Take good care of you & TALK TALK TALK

January 12, 2006
9:24 am
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Sophie3012
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No they don't even know about that, there kept in the dark and it'n not what has happened to me in past events it's how they affected me psychologically I don't give two hoots about him or what he did, that's over and I moved on it's just every feeling I had over my life that were bad it's built up this wall around me where I can't get out and that is why I am seeking help.

January 12, 2006
9:40 am
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OK, I hear you.

You don't allow yourself to carry this incident with you - you say you have parked it and moved on. Is it really possible to do this??
Please excuse my misunderstanding but I'm not really getting what exactly it is that is upsetting you so much right now. You talk of secrets?

All I can say is that I'm sure your family love you very much and although whatever these secrets are might surprise them (since you've kept them in the dark for so long)they will be more than willign to be there for you and help you throuhg this difficult time.

Dont be afraid to talk.

January 12, 2006
12:25 pm
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jewel2
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.....all I know is when we THINK we have put something to rest it has a tendency to creep up on us and bite us in the ass! In other words we often think that we have dealt with something when the actuality is that we have not. These feelings have to come out somewhere and they usually come out when we least expect it with people whom we love. I guess what I am trying to say here is that even though your mind has put this sexual abuse away your heart is still carrying it. The heart only truly lets go when it feels validated and who has done that for you so far? Talk with someone you can trust. I send you strength

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