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No where to turn
April 11, 2000
11:01 am
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Joanna
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Please help me.My father left me,my twin sister and my mother with nothing when I was 7 years old. Now I have just found out that my mam has lung cancer and there is not much of a chance for her to pull through this.All my friends tell me that I am old enough to look after my self (Im 17 now) and I will cope with the loss.
I still miss my Father and he left 10 years ago I just don't know I will cope with the loss of my Mother.
Ive even tried turning to my sister but she just says that everything is going to be o.k.
But it won't I know it won't. I find myself writing letters to my father because I have nobody else to talk to.
Please Help Joanna

April 11, 2000
4:32 pm
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janes
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Sweetie....if you know it won't then it won't. But your sister will be okay because she already knows she will be okay.

It is going to be very tough, and very sad and very hard.

My dad lost both his parents before he was 12...taken care of by relatives he learned to cope and go on and grew to be a fine man.

It is the toughest thing to lose a mom.

Sounds like thoughts of your dad are centered on all the good things you "could have had" if he had stuck around. Leaving you at 7 was bad cuz that is such an impressionable age. But it isn't your fault he left.

Talk to a Pasotr, a school counsleor, a trusted family friend...seek professional help. The greif of your mom's death will be difficult. But remember...she isn't dead yet. You have a lifetime to live with her before the bad stuff happens.

Your mom's doctor or hospital should have some group or family counseling for illnesses like this. bug people til they help you find what you need.

Next....start living your lives. Like I said...your mom isn't gone yet...get her to tell you all her childhood memeories..write them down. Make a famiy history with her. Get all the things she knows written down so someday you can share them with your children and your sister's children.

You have a lot to do ... Let the grieving time be when the greiving time should be... right now is the time for LIFE!!!!

When the time comes for coping you will do it a day at a time, an hour at a time..a minute at a time.

Just saying you need help with all this shows you to be an open caring loving person..who can be strong and healthy!

April 13, 2000
10:19 am
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Joanna
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James
thank you so much for your support I don't think you realise how much it meant to me. I will try to take it one day at a time like you said be it will be hard! I realise now that my mother is not dead yet and will do as you say Thank you so much. I wish there was something I could do for you in return but in the meantime I hope that life brings you all the best and keep smiling Thats what I do anyway.
Thank you again JOANNA

April 14, 2000
12:11 am
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janes
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What you can do for me sweetie is to make the best of this horrible situation. Cry when you need to, find a pastor or cunselor to help you, get close to mom and sis. Get those scrapbooks out. share, care, love, cry, hold each other etc. etc. etc. It isn't going to make it any easier but hopefully in the long run yyou and your sis will both have wonderful memories of the times you spent with your mum. And great stories to tell your future kids. don't forget to get your mom's memories down..her hopes and wishes for your children (her grandkids) etc. etc. etc.

Then...someday...when you see a young person going through what you are...lend a helping hand and a shoulder.

Just pass it on!!!

Come back when ever you need to and let us know what you are doing and how things are going!!!

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