Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
No Contact...how are you doing/feeling?
July 26, 2005
8:02 am
Avatar
SexySadie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I thought the original thread was gone...so here is a revised one.

I am on day 5. Doing much better, I have my moments of weakness though, but haven't picked up the phone to call him once. Haven't asked any of our friends about him at all.

I do check the business bank account online (to see if he's getting any of the money redirected to him) and he's overdrawn...he ate at Taco Bell for about 8.00 and his service charge was 30.00. What is he thinking? I guess he isn't, thats the problem. Taco Bell...for him, he's really desperate. Then he bought smokes and got another 30.00 service charge. H E L L O... when is the bank going to shut him down on this...

Anyway, back to ME....I am trying to refocus things, apparently I've been a bit scattered lately...I went to the airport last night to pick up a friend...LOL she doesn't even come in until tomorrow. Oh well dress rehearsal. LOL!! So ya'll had a good laugh at my expense...hee hee.

So today, I am going to focus on slowing things down. Writing things down a bit until I get back on track. I've got so much to do the next couple of weeks with my shop opening so at least I have something to focus on.

How is everyone else doing?

July 26, 2005
1:12 pm
Avatar
2bstrong
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi SexySadie...

Doing ok...Starting week nine today of no contact. It all seems a bit surreal now--to be as close as we were for ten and a half years, and to so abruptly stop speaking to each other. I am still coming to grips with all of it, and it is taking a lot of therapy, counseling, support, support groups, books, and just about anything I can get.

Thanks for asking, it sounds as if you are doing just fine! What kind of shop are you opening? What an awesome diversion that you can completely throw yourself into...2b

July 26, 2005
1:18 pm
Avatar
SexySadie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yeah, I have been doing the same. I think it's a combination of the reading the Therapist that has really helped.

I'm opening a small boutique in my hometown. Looking forward to it. When we finally get it open. All this stuff really put a hold on it because he was going to be there and help. Plus he was going to occupy the back office with some friends...now the whole thing has turned dreams into nightmares for everyone involved...except him.

July 26, 2005
2:00 pm
Avatar
SexySadie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well Day 5 and I just woke up from a nap and saw that he called me. How predictible? OW works on Tuesday and Thursday's...so of course he can call me when he's away from her. Just like he did last week. But he failed to leave a voicemail...so no message, no reason to call back.

July 26, 2005
2:11 pm
Avatar
exoticflower
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

HI, it's been 24 days of no direct contact (he spoke in my ear on the phone once regarding my daughter, but it was unwelcome and i didn't respond, just put the phone to her ear). I sent mean e-mails about a week ago, so I guess I odn't know where I stand...for some reason it didn't phase me or feel like contact. I am actually feeling GOOD about no contact, like, I don't long to hear his voice or try to convince him of anything or get through to him or anything like that...I even go through someone else for my own comfort regarding our daughter, even as that could be concidered nessacary contact. And I have to say, it has made ALL the difference. I'm feeling good, feeling pretty, feeling sure of myself, not depressed, scared, full of doubt or self pity, and i know that it is all because I have the room and chance to grow for me without our toxic interaction setting me back. The more I forced myself to let go, th more uncomfortable I was when I didn't do that, and after our last problems, I was lucky to have a click or a lightbulb moment...I don't want him, I don't want to hurt. I think feeling that takes a lot of self love, actually...oh, mini breakthrough!

July 26, 2005
2:27 pm
Avatar
SexySadie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Woo Hoo congratulations!!! I am right there with you...I feel great. I've even met someone online (just a safe friendship) who is geographically undesirable but still very nice to talk to someone and have some great conversation. Already said I didn't want it go anywhere and since he lives in Boston...boy is this ever safe. But it's really helped me with my self esteem.

July 26, 2005
2:48 pm
Avatar
2bstrong
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey exotic...good going! I like what you said: "I don't want him, I don't want to hurt." Feeling that DOES take a lot of self love. What progress you've made. I hope you don't mind me saying that...2b

Sadie...your boutique sounds cute. I Iike your idea of a safe friend. It's important to have support and people who boost our self-esteem when we are unable to do it ourselves. Or maybe, they are good teachers and they show us how to do it on our own.--2b

July 26, 2005
3:05 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well, I'm only on Day 3 of no contact (because I blew it after I had made it a whole 9 days), but I think it gets easier every time I do it. I hope so anyway. I definitely think no contact at this point is for the best. I still have alot of things I wanted to say, but would he listen? No, I don't think so. Therefore, I'd just be wasting my time and kicking myself for "trying" to communicate again. I'm gonna take it one day at a time, and I know I can do it with the support I am finding here! Thanks you guys!

SS, I think it's funny you said he bought an $8 Taco Bell Meal that now will cost him $38 (tee hee). My teenagers do that sometimes on accident, and I have to fuss! How old is this guy??? lol Well, he will LEARN the hard way:)

July 26, 2005
3:25 pm
Avatar
SexySadie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Exactly Plz...if you don't feel that you are at a point where you both can communicate comfortably, don't bother.

EX? is 33 going on about 18 right now. Yeah it's just priceless...that's the most expensive lunch at Taco Bell...and then to do it again for a couple of packs of smokes..sheesh...

Sad thing is he thinks he is getting money in...when/if he does it will only be enough to cover the bounced checks.

July 26, 2005
6:54 pm
Avatar
SexySadie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well he has been burning up the phone lines all day long on my cell phone. Hasn't left a message, so I figure it's obviously not important enough. Plus if it was work related, he needs to be calling his business partner and not me. This feels really good...wow I guess I have gotten stronger the past 5 days. Normally, I would have either taken his call or returned it immediately. I think he is used to that. It's funny now watching him be in my shoes when he wouldn't return any of my calls.

July 26, 2005
9:32 pm
Avatar
SexySadie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well he has been continuing to call me all early evening and sent a text message of 000. Not sure what that means.

Anyway, I went to go meet friends to play darts tonight. As I pulled onto the main street, there he was..crap...he pulled down the side road to take the short cut to the bar where we play. I decided that if I saw him pull in I would keep going. He beat me there and pulled in and I of course kept going...I drove around a bit and then headed home...he's still in there...with his broken windowed car in the parking lot. Which means she is not with him, otherwise they would have taken her car.

I'm a bit concerned now...not giving in to the no contact, he has no reason to try and get a hold of me. If it's business related he should be calling his partner. If he wants his stuff back he would leave a message. Not good whatever is going on...so lights out here...going to sleep early.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
29
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110935
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38542
Posts: 714222
Newest Members:
jessicawales, documentsonline, SafeWork, thomasalina, genericsmartdrugs, 才艺
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer