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NIGHTMARES
October 22, 2002
11:02 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Hi People.Just a question/ problem I hope you can help me with.I am having bad nightmares at the moment,almost every night.Its varies about what they are about.I have had a load of dream about rape-either being chased and raped,or seeing others,and being helpless,and not being able to help them.Its really getting to me,and I dread going to sleep.I try to concentrate on not having bad dreams,but this doesn't work.Does anyone know why this is happening,or ways to get my good dream back/stop these nightmares?Any comments welcome!

Tinker

October 22, 2002
11:28 am
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claudiadavies
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Have you been worried about yourself or a friend? Usually your dreams project how you feel in your real life?

October 22, 2002
11:58 am
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Ladeska
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Was wondering here - how old are you? And have you ever had any issues with abuse in your background that you know of or suspect?

October 22, 2002
12:12 pm
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Tinkerbe11
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Claudia: Hmmm......I don't think so-that I am worried about a friend.I was worried about about the state of my mind for a bit-loosing control,but the nightmares started before that.

Ladeska,I'm 18.And I haven't had any form of abuse no.This is why is so wierd.I have never been rape,d or know of anyone who has been raped.
I used to have requent dreams about dialing 999 too, and being chased.I could never get my cell phone to get the signal.It was horrible.

October 22, 2002
12:22 pm
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Ladeska
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Well......what I do know is that - our subconscious protects us at times and helps us to "not remember trauma". If we did remember it when we could not handle it - we might come apart at the seams. So, it's not uncommon at all for people to not remember or know of any abuse and then suddenly to be flooded with nightmares, fears, flashbacks, etc. This happens more than it doesn't with abuse victims.

It would be good for you to journal and to write down all your dreams and to keep them in one book so that you can refer to them later. I strongly believe that we can de-code our own dreams at some point because I think it's our subconscious way of sending the story forward to our older self and doing so - in code. That part of ourselves can be very, very young and extremely vulnerable and scared. What happens all to often is that we blame ourselves for whatever happened and that little person part of us - hides deep within us and feels another part of us going forward... I have seen people decipher their own dreams later as more information comes forward and it doesn't surprise me at all. They want me to unravel for them and sometimes I help, but I'm always amazed at how symbolic and right on those dreams turn out to be and it just amazes me to see that the person themselves - wrote the message, designed the dream in such a way, in such code that - the functioning part of themselves might receive it and not turn away. Then again - if you are strong enough to receive the brutal truth without much dressing up - you may indeed have a dream that isn't dressed up much at all.

Sometimes, too, when people feel threatened by other things in life - they may deal with this psychologically by dreaming about rape because they feel "raped" in some way or fear it. It's just basically a fear about - being invaded in some way or trapped and threatened and hurt.

So there could be alot of answers to this question.....

October 22, 2002
1:36 pm
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For_Skyla
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That's kinda odd. I go through the same thing. If you are on any meds, ask your doctor if the dreams are a side effect. But, I do understand how frusterating it gets, you stay awake as long as you can fearing that when you do go to sleep you'll have to face another dream. Maybe take 2 tylonal pm before you sleep. Maybe that will help you get out of the cycle of bad dreams.

If you have a lot of things with depression, your dreams might be a form of punishing yourself. Like if you feel you are not worthy, or if you harm yourself physically.. and wish yourself to pay for osmething, or wish bad things upone yourself.... the dreams might be doing it in that way.

Good luck

Muah.. !! *hugs*

October 22, 2002
2:18 pm
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beenthruthat
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Long ago, I had recurring dreams of being stabbed that are oddly similar to your dreams. My husband at the time was not being a very nice person, and I think that the dreams were reflecting inner alarms going off. The dreams would be in different places, sometimes I would just get grabbed and feel a shooting pain, other dreams I would run and hide and run and hide and then would get stabbed. Each dream had a lot of tension and anxiety. The dreams stopped once I confronted him on what was really bothering me. They occurred every night for a couple of weeks.

Not sure if that helps, but that was a personal experience that maybe would give you some insight. Is someone or something bothering you? Who's on your mind a lot. Are you puzzled about what that person is doing?

Good luck in finding answers.

October 23, 2002
7:52 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Thanx Ladeska.I dont tknow if I understand this right,but are you maybe saying I was once raped and blotted it out?????? I probably just read it all wrong.Surely if I was,I would remember it??? I am never being raped in my own home,its always woods.

For_skyla...I;m not on any meds that would effect my dreams I dont think.Beta blockers.Perhpas you are right about the physical harm.This is so frustrating though.

Hmmm......Been thruthat...there are a lot of things bothering me at the moment.Might they be whats making them worse??I have an overwhelming fear that people are going to leave me,and not be able to help.

Wish they'd go away.

Thanx for all the suggestions guys!

Tink

October 23, 2002
10:15 am
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gypsygirl
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I have nightmares all of the time. It helps if I sleep with some sort of noise like a TV or a radio to block out my thoughts while I am sleeping. Then i usually dream about what is playing on the TV.

October 24, 2002
8:54 am
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Tinkerbe11
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they were bad again last night.urgh!

October 24, 2002
10:37 pm
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SuzyQ
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Tinker,
I'm not saying anything happened or it didn't. I have to agree with Ladeska, individuals who have been raped or sexually abused tend to repress those feelings to subconsciously make them go away. Sometimes they come out in nightmares. However, the dream could mean all kinds of things. Just because you had a dream about something, doesn't mean it happened, or certainly not necessarily a vision either. There are all kinds of opinions on this. Only you can ultimately figure this out (Rape/sex abuse involves power and control issues). If you still see your therapist, this would be a great thing to work on.

Good Luck and we'll talk online! 🙂

October 24, 2002
10:40 pm
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SuzyQ
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What I may not have conveyed is discussing the dreams would be a great thing to discuss in therapy. You might discover the root of all of this.

Take it easy!

October 27, 2002
8:47 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Hey Suzy.Good to hear from you.I just don't get this though.I CAN'T have been raped or abused.SURELY i'd know.Surely.I next see the therapist 4th of Nov, so I guess I will bring it up then.Before when I told her about nightmares I'd been having, she put it down to cheese!! LOL! I don't even eat cheese, but to shut me up, she said chesse causes nightmares! Shut the hell up if she's not guna say anything useful!! lol!

I tried, after gypsy said she goes to sleep with the tv on, listening to George Michael til I feel asleep. Ha! Didn't really work, instead I remember dreaming 'singing' careless whisper!

October 27, 2002
1:10 pm
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Ladeska
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Smack your therapist for me next time you go in, okay? Geezz!!! The cheese statement just blew me away. And these people have degrees and I don't. Okay. That computes.

ANYWAYS! Here's some "useful" information to counteract the B.S. she just told you. It's from the book "Potatoes Not Prozac" for sugar sensitive people. A girl that I am currently working with is doing the program suggested and she sent this to me with a bit of an added note of her own in there...

Some people inherit a special body chemistry, called sugar sensitivity, which sets them up to develop specific behavioral and psychological traits. Sugar-sensitive people generally have a family history of alcoholism and are very fond of sweet foods and carbohydrates. They are likely to be impulsive in general, may be compulsive about eating or other behaviors and may be overweight and/or depressed. Serotonin controls impulses. When its low - you act before you think - like eating a certain food. Which is why using the food journal helps because it gives that extra time needed to make a good or bad decision ... They may gain weight disproportional to the amount of calories they consume. They feel both physical and emotional pain more deeply. They may have unexplained or disproportionate anger, overreact to stress and fail to get the results they hope for in psychotherapy.

Many have experienced childhood trauma or abuse.

Sugar-sensitive people are often called chocoholics or carbohydrate cravers, or are accused of having a sweet tooth. Their larger-than-normal appetite for sweets and starches doesnt seem to be related to physical hunger. The sugar sensitive eat these foods for emotional reasons or simply to feel comforted. Stressful or highly emotional situations make sugar-sensitive people want to eat even more sweets or breads. Such people may also be very fond of alcohol. Woman who are sugar sensitive may be particularly at risk for alcoholic drinking after menopause.

Sugar-sensitive people exibit strikingly different moods ranging from feelings of wild enthusiasm and competence to despondency and overwhelming hopelessness. These moods can be greatly exaggerated in sugar-sensitive women just before menstruation. In fact, sugar-sensitive people are more likely to be women. Men who are overweight, depressed or impulsive, or who have a particular attachment to alcohol, are also likely to be sugar sensitve.

Sugar-sensitive people may have unexplained physical symptoms which dont respond to traditional medical treatment. These symptoms can include fatigue, restlessness, frustration, irritibility, loss of concentration, memory problems, sleep disturbances and headaches.

While not yet scientifically demonstrated, it appears that sugar-sensitive people are likely to be highly creative, exceptionally intuitive and keenly aware of interpersonal dynamics.

At times, they may have vivid and powerful dreams.

And no........if you had been sexually abused - you might not remember now. In fact, most don't. The majority of people start remembering mid 20's to mid 30's. You have to look at it like any other trauma. Associated with that impact - you will experience a kind of shock that distorts things, makes you numb and even out of your body at the time but nonetheless - scrambles things and sometimes completely blocks the memory because you can't handle.....then, especially if you were a small child and especially if it was a trusted person that did this. So the bruise heals and in time - you are able to possibly bring back the visual. What most often happens is - you get it in bits and pieces and alot of times it comes in many forms - through triggers where you just "feel" something, like you are there and it's more of a body feeling than a visual "seeing". You may get flashes of pictures, dreams that are distorted, and have certain fears out of the blue that you can't explain like being in a certain situation or with a certain person or kind of person, etc. People who have been sexually abused - are most often fragmented in many ways. And it takes time for that to come back to center and reform into a complete understanding of what happened.

October 27, 2002
5:34 pm
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sparkle7
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try reading b4 u go to sleep.
Do u have a cat or dog?
I feel warm and safe if i have my boyfriend or an animal by my side.

Sometimes i have bad dreams, they go on for about a week, i think its a routine, then oneday they just stop.

If i have a really fun day, then i dont worry before i go to bed.
Usually i think and worry and get anxious before i go to bed. I hate the silence.

October 28, 2002
3:38 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Ladeska thats all really interesting.The thing about the cheese too blew me away.I told her I dreamt that I killed myself,and she said "But I know you don't want to do that".The she said about the cheese.

Ok, about this.A lot of things on here match me.A few don't.I don't have a family hisory of alcholism,I am a fair bit underweight,I DO love sweet foods though.

You keep mentioning childhood trauma.I have been thinking about this.Maybe I have had 'trauma'.My mum was really sick for a long long time.

I also have strikingly different moods.One minute i'm high, the next very low,and at rock bottom.My therapist put it down to hormonal changes at that time of the month! HA!

I'm also very creative,and as you know, powerful dreams.

I am finding it hard to accept this about being abused.I see how you are right, but I can't have been abused-and yes I know what you will be saying now Ladeska, Denial! I duno....Thanx for all that.A lot matches.I will look up on it.

October 28, 2002
9:11 am
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Ladeska
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Noooo, I'm not going to say that you're in denial! Not at all. I'm just giving you information and letting you know what goes on with someone who was abused.

And as far as your therapist is concerned - I'd get a NEW one, like yesterday. People like her shouldn't be allowed to practice.

Soooo.....has she asked you to have bloodwork done so she can have basis for this theory about your hormones? Or, is she just pulling this one out of thin air because it might sorta almost fit and then taking your money for another useless hour of B.S.?

You don't have to have a history of alcoholism to be sugar sensitive either. Just so you know. Also, sometimes our natural genetics collide with......the chemicals that our bodies produce to deal with stress and the "mix" isn't a good one and can send you into a vicious cycle that repeats itself over and over again. If you add to that - that you don't eat the right foods that then are ALSO going to cause a problem with that mix - then you might have quite the up and downhill thing going on and not know what in the world is wrong with you.

October 28, 2002
1:46 pm
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Tinkerbe11
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Thanx again for all that info Ladeska.I am thinking of buying that book of amazon and have already look at ways - if there is a problem here,to change my diet for the better.More proteins,and a potato before bed! ha! Wierd.

Can I ask ladeska,(u dont have to answer)I thought u were from the US but I get a feeling u r from the UK??

October 28, 2002
2:15 pm
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Ladeska
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No sweets, I'm from the states. What made you think I was from the UK, just curious. And yes, please do get that book and see what you think.

October 29, 2002
5:01 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Oh I just wondered.I just thought you were from the UK for a minute cos of what you wrote on th Comic relief thread. I did think you were from the states, but you mentioned about Tescos and Sainburys in it.Does the states have good old sainburys and tesco? Jst curious!

October 31, 2002
8:13 pm
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BeccaUK
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Having bad nightmares too...

November 1, 2002
6:24 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Hold on a minute,Lisset.Don't attack me like this.All you said was listen to music.I acknowleged it,and wrote about that I had been listening to george Michael.Sorry I 'didn't write your name!'. I didn't realise I had to refer to everything written on here.I refered to Suzy cos I know her.We talk a lot and she knows what going on....I never said your adice was bad.Don't jump to conclusions.

November 1, 2002
4:44 pm
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Ladeska
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YOU GUYS!!! Stop, stop! Okay? Lisset - your opinions, views, advice are just as valid and as important as anyone else's sweetheart. It's hard on here sometimes...People just get weary, hurt, confused and sometimes what's written doesn't come out as together as it should or someone does get slighted and it's not as intentional as it might seem...not at all. I've put the wrong name down before, replied on the wrong thread, said the wrong thing when I did reply, so it's just the nature of the beast here. Just please understand that one reason people are here is because they are hurting.....Just hope your feelings are okay, as well...

November 2, 2002
8:53 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Ok,I understand you are having much stress,but please don't take it out on me.I have stress too,and I don't need it.Ladeska is right.Your opions are valued to me,whatever they may be.Anyone who replies is valued and I apprieciate it.

I had a major bad dream again last night about being raped.They won't go away.It was horrible.I was held hostage in a room too.

November 2, 2002
10:14 am
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Ladeska
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Lisset....you know what? Why don't you start your own thread and "let's talk about you, listen to you.....whatever you need to talk about.... I well remember being locked in a tunnel where no one wanted to talk to me or understand me and it wasn't fun at all. I can access all those feelings very easily to this day. So please don't feel like you won't be heard here, sweetheart. Just take it slow and tell people a little bit about yourself.....please?

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