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Newbie-Hi everyone!
August 26, 2007
11:21 am
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alien
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I am new around here. It is hard to know how to choose a topic, as so many of them are relevant. Any suggestions? Anyone been around this message board for a long time? I like to know that there are some so called "old Timers". Anyways, i assume you all come here because you aren't getting all you "need" from the "real world", or because you want to help those that aren't. Well i know how you feel. I pray for every single person here to find peace in your life, one step at a time! Courage and faith to all!

August 26, 2007
12:46 pm
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balancesekr
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welcome alien! This is a great place for support. I've been posting here on and off since 2004.

Any topic works here, what did you have in mind?

August 26, 2007
12:49 pm
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_anonymous
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alien- Hi. Most folks here are dealing with others that are causing them a great deal of distress. Most are seeking out support and advice how to deal with it. It could be issues with their health, kids, partners, co-workers, etc. What brought you here today?

August 26, 2007
3:10 pm
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alien
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Hi Balancesekr and Destinystar!

How very very nice to know that you are out there and responding! : )

What brought me here today is basically the fact that i need to get some stuff out of me which is eating me alive. I have a huge problem with relationships in general. I have had an excrutiating year culminating in the death of my father very recently. Was posting quite regularily for the last 6 months on another support site, and am afraid that i have turned everyone off of wanting to reply to me anymore. Not that i was ever offensive, just not stable, all over the place. And gradually people who were replying to me regularily, stopped. It doesn't sound like a big deal maybe, but that was actually my entire support system. Now it's over. And i am in need of not feeling alone right now. I don't love to live, i just barely survive. I want to get better. I am in search of an honest connection with somebody. Anyways, thanks very much for responding to me. I really hope that i can manage to get and also give some support here!

August 26, 2007
3:28 pm
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CAMER
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hi Alien...welcome...and my condolences for your father.

How long have the regular peple stopped posting to you, more than a few weeks?

Using support websites are great, I was in one for about a year & half with the death of my beloved bf. And I met some great people, who i still chat with, even after I left the group.

Maybe just the "group" was too busy, doing there own thing, or grieving and venting on there own terms. I wouldn't take it too "personally".

Well, you will find an abundance of connections here!! and glad you joined!!

((camer)))

August 26, 2007
3:43 pm
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_anonymous
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Alien- The father of my kids did very suddenly and tragically at the age of 46 on 6-28-07, then my husband went to jail on 7-6-07 then my daughter went to jail 8-21-07. So, I know what you mean about feeling all alone.I basically just exist. But I take care of my kids and my financial responsibilities but not me. My mother and my sister wont answer the phone if I call or return my calls. I have had nothing but drama in relationships with men that are horrible and have gone from bad to worse. I am better off on my own. But I dont like it. Why dont U want to live?

August 26, 2007
3:49 pm
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alien
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Camer

Thanks!!! Feeling some hope coming back! Ya, it has been about 3 weeks since i believe the "group" decided that i was a pain in the @$$! And i do suffer from paranoia sometimes, doesn't help! Maybe i am jumping to conclusions, but i really feel way to insecure to keep posting there. I really became co dependant with them. So 'losing' them is really hard. I feel invisible now. Anyways, i already love this place. I promise to try my best to be agreable!

August 26, 2007
4:02 pm
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alien
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Destinystar

Oh man. I am so sorry to hear all that you have been through! Whew! I think i am in the right place. Where else can you share such a bunch of heavy awful stuff, with people that can actually empathize with horrendous emotional agony? I pretty much can't be authentic. People are uncomfortable with how raw and sensitive i am, and with the way i came to be how i am. Lots of childhood abuse and subsequent abuse scenarios playing out over and over since then. Substance abuse, etc...So i have to present as being strong and fine while i am around people, but it is SO exhausting! And not being real is pointless. I am desperately trying to find a way to be real, without making people walk away as they can't deal. I am not sure if that made sence? Anyways, so far here, i am real. And i am really sorry about your struggles!!!!

August 26, 2007
4:08 pm
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CAMER
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hi Alien, maybe the support group wasn't for you, heck, i had to join a few b4 I found one that I could stick with.

Here, as you can see, you'll get lotsa support from honest people, even though its anonymous & thru a computer, its true people, going thru similiar situations.

And too, sometimes you get advice from people that "tell it like it is"....but it's all done out of the
way we feel, without trying to hurt others.

Keep posting, it helps alot.

August 27, 2007
10:11 am
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balancesekr
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hi alien,

Sorry I didn't post back yesterday, my bf came over and have to keep this site a secret!

I am sorry to hear about your father. My dad is getting older and I think about losing him, I never want that day to come. I empathize with you for your loss. This is a great place to post whatever you have on your mind.

I agree with camer, maybe the people on the other site were too busy. I too posted on another board b4 here and felt I was annoying the people, was "too" everything, dramatic, sensitive, messed up, over-reacting, under-reacting; whatever I could beat myself up with.

You do not have to be agreeable here. The best thing to do here, at least for me is find threads that you identify with and if you feel you can help, post to someone. Or even if you can't relate, sometimes, I just say hello to someone on a thread.

I am no way a perfect poster here. Sometimes I think people are totally talking about me, if they post about how sometimes people are selfish, only post about themselves, etc... That is me sometimes! But you know what?? That is why I am here. I am not perfect.

The best way to post is from your heart, rather than saying what you think someone wants to hear.

Those are the posts that stand out to me. There are so many great people on these boards, half the time I lack the focus to even rememeber who posted to me, and what other people situations are, but I know I have gotten alot of support when I didnt even feel I deserved it.

I have had people tell me I was wrong on certain threads... and sometimes, they were right! What's cool is now I can admit and handle that!

Your past is important. Your story is unique to you. Sure there are common denominators here which tie our stories together. What I have found in the past few years, is I came here like you, troubles with relationships, all over the place, etc... desperately seeking an answer to my confusion.

Definitely keep posting here. Sometimes I think, nobody wants to hear from me, or read my post. I truly think certain people avoid my threads or something, but it could be in my head! And what if its not! Who cares, I can't please all the people all the time.

b

August 27, 2007
10:40 am
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lost lady72
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Hi Alien,

So sorry for your loss, truly.
My Dad passed away 2 years ago, it’s like yesterday it has changed my life, my way and my will to live at times. I worshiped him. One week he was sitting in front of me telling me they found a lump eight weeks later he was gone. I had no time with him as he was so heavily medicated. Asbestos cancer, I’ll describe better when I can do this without crying.
It’s so hard to explain to anyone how I feel as only he knows how much he loved me and that’s what I miss his love. I can’t and won’t let go, as I’m not ready.
I basically lost my mother too as she barely communicates with us anymore.

I just wanted you to know I’m here, I’m not always this upset just had a tuff weekend with all of the above.

I’ve been on this site for a couple of weeks for a separate issue and I’ve found it very supportive and helpful.
Hear form you soon..

LL

August 27, 2007
6:38 pm
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alien
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Hi guys

So nice to not feel alone right now! I appreciate every single reply so much! The loss of my dad has shaken me up. It was not a good relationship at all. But contrary to popular belief, this by no means makes it any easier. To me anyways. At all! Anyways, i do know though all too well what it is like for the most important person in your life, your "ROCK" to die. It is a suffering that i do not know how to let go either. Here's hoping we all find the peace we are seeking!

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