Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
New to the Board
November 29, 2003
12:20 pm
Avatar
1angel4
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi everyone!!!I am new to the board and just wanted to intro myself and my life.
I have been married for 2 months to a man that changed dramatcially the moment the vows were taken. I knew he drank heavily before we were married, but didn't know he was a full-blown alcohlic (should have though). We have a history of frequent short-lived break-ups and romantic reunions where he pursues me heavily. I have moved out of his home and am searching for some answers-. I truly feel as if our relationship will be an ongoing dysfuntional struggle if I allow it--but I feel powerless over it. My family and friends all detest this man and tell me he is worthless. I don't have one single family member or friend who encourage my continued relationship with him. My daughter says she can tell a big difference in me when I am with him--my self- esteem plummets. I feel like I need to move away to get out of this--anyone hae any feedback???
Anyone have input on the CoDa meetings?? I saw a listing online and was curious---Thanks everyone--any help will be appreciated

November 29, 2003
12:45 pm
Avatar
Ladeska
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi there and Welcome!!....understand fully where you are. Please look at the "How Do You Become Prey to a Charmer/Abuser" thread. And also scroll down or look back in the history for - "Relationship Checklist". It think both of these might help you.

You need to listen to everyone around you AND to your own radar. That little small voice inside......."knows much".

November 29, 2003
1:14 pm
Avatar
HARRYO
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi NTB, Why don't you think
back to a time when your self
esteem was a its all time highest?
When you graduated from college,
bought your first home, bore
and reared your children. What was
it about you that made you feel
so successful because of what
you could give in a healthy loving
way? Tap into that energy and
get yourself in a better place.
Why do you want to please that
bastard? Validate your own
personal feelings that are associated
with your successes and happiness.

November 29, 2003
1:48 pm
Avatar
1angel4
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ladeska,
I just finished reading the charmer-abuser personality and it is fantastic--it nearly fits to the letter.It is going to be a frequent resource for me as I am going through this difficult time. Thanks for the confirmation of my own feelings--it has been difficult for me to validate my own feelings and listen to my radar.
HarryO
I am trying to think back to those times,and I appreciate the fact that you even know he is a bastard!!!*S*

November 29, 2003
6:31 pm
Avatar
Ladeska
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

1angel4......Glad you read it sweetheart. Hope it helps you. It's good to get validation, huh? Makes you stop and go - Someone else KNOWS what's up here, TOO!!! Yea buddy. That's why I wrote it. That's the old trap of it all......getting you so confused and spun around that you doubt yourself, your own good sense. And it makes you not listen to your radar - the FIRST time it goes off.

So slam down the hammer and make some hard and fast boundaries in your life for him or anyone like him. Take your life back and don't feel one bit guilty for it. Whatever man that is a REAL man with character and true grit....will see that in you someday and you won't have to jump through hoops in order to get his attention either. And you won't get alot of quick, slick charm oozed all over you either. He'll have more respect for you and for himself to NOT do that crap. In between time though....you not having a man in your life - doesn't mean your work just falls apart at the seams. A man doesn't make you complete. You're complete without someone else. You don't need another "half" anyways. You need another whole person that stands beside you as an equal.......and then you compliment each other. All this stuff Hollywierd has taught us is just plain bullshit. Realistically - life is alot of work and we are happy now and then. Most of the time, we're lucky to be somewhat content. You need a person beside you that - doesn't need to suck your energy away from you - in order for them to survive. No vampires, okay? You don't need them. They need you though.....and they will feel little or no pain at destroying you in the process. Take time to really get to know someone the next time you get in a relationship. Gauge yourself, step back and ask some very important questions about him and what's going on between you guys. Whatever electricity - is not always - a good thing. It can be......but when it's too fast, too charming, too heated....I'd back way back on that one and take a hard look at it. C/A's like everything fast because otherwise, you might see who they are. You remember that one.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
30
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110929
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38539
Posts: 714214
Newest Members:
stanley, LarteyWellnessGroup, dr ado spell caster, Leslie Ann Satin, overmyhead201, delight1080
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer