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New Phase in My Recovery; CoDependancy......and I thought I was finished!
January 21, 2005
6:08 pm
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KWMike
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September 30, 2010
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My name is Mike, and I am an addict that is becoming aware of my CoDependant behaviours. I am experiencing a new type of bottom in my recovery. I recently relapsed, I got Clean and sober on August 11, 2001. At the begining of the end of my marriage, and I smoked some pot on Noveber 22, 2004 and have been smoking more since then. I am very aware of the ways in which my behaviour is causing me so much unmanageability in my life, this relapse has shown me that the only program I was running, was mine. My best thinking got me to where I am, not so good. I hope to finally try running an honest, openminded and willing, program......................will I ever get better!

January 21, 2005
6:16 pm
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SPLINTER
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September 24, 2010
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aw, i know how you feel and also how the people around you feel i've been in both places.
try to stop smoking think about the money, yourself and where you will end up if you keep smoking. if it really turns into a problem sign yourself up into a rehab. i think that its ok to smoke once in awhile but not every day or every week. i use to smoke almost every day and it interfered with my school work, me relationships, attitude, outlook on life. its not worth it. it really isnt.

January 21, 2005
6:22 pm
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shyshy
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I've never been addicted to any drugs so I really can't tell you I know how you feel but I can tell you that I believe it's all a mindset. You may have your setbacks like everyone else but I believe if you reprogram your mind to NOT doing any drugs you can overcome this addiction. The beginning of the end of your marriage is a major setback I think, it would drive anyone to do just about anything to mask the pain but the bottom line is the only way to get rid of that pain for sure is to go throught it and feel it. Otherwise, it will probably just keep coming back up again. I've been there in other areas of my life and have tried to mask the pain with alcohol or in my case another man. None of it works for the long haul. It just creates more drama and chaos. I've heard it say that the only way to get rid of a bad habit is to replace it with another habit. Preferably a healthy one. Is there anything else that you like to do that you can replace it with? I think that's why a lot of people turn to God.

January 21, 2005
6:32 pm
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Phalic_Liberator
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September 29, 2010
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Yeah, Mike, you'll get better. Starting right after you read this. First off! There is no such thing as co-dependency. It's a fancy word someone made up and a problem to which the only solution is to become a sociopath. The sooner you stop trying to stop being co-dependent, the better.

If you really have a problem with pot go to Narcotics Anonymous. DON'T go to AA. I don't want you there. I could give a rats ass. NO ONE has ever died from smoking too much pot. Men have grown titties and there, in later life, has been some dementia in heavy pot users, but no death.

When you do go to NA you might try finding someone who can talk in something other than circles and pat phrases about actually doing the work (The 12 steps) and get him take you through the work.

January 21, 2005
10:07 pm
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KWMike
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Phalic_Liberator, thanks for your views,however I am a friend of Bill and will continue going to AA meetings, and I want you there. As for NA, I am GSR of my home group. I am familiar with the different fellowships. I am experiencing a bottom, brought on by my illusion of control over people, places and things, drugs and alcohol are two of the things, now I have come to realize that I am CoDependant. It may be a fancy word to some, and I know there are others out there that know the pain brought on by CoDependancy. I treat my Girlfriend like a bag of dope, I can't get enough, and when I don't have it right there, thats when unmanageabilty rears it's ugly face................one more thought, I smoke dope to deal with feelings, and it is the only drug out there that tells you everything is fine..........POT is a very horrible drug. I am not afraid of dying from it, but I am afraid of the damage it does to my relationships as a result of not dealing with feelings............POT is the ugliest drug! If it was about life and death.....I wouldn't be here. I am alive, I just want to live, cause existing is killing me inside. The last eight months of my life I have been in a real dysfunctional relationship, and I am at a CoDependant bottom.

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