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New: Need Help With Problem Of Porn & Compultions.....
July 6, 2012
10:24 pm
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skinnypete2014
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July 6, 2012
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Maybe I need professional help....
*Distrubing*

When I was younger i used to look at CP, kids bathing, kids getting a diaper changed anything to see the more private area probably 15-18.
I've stopped looking now that i've grown up, but occasional look at lolicon (cartoon of kids having sex) but then instead watch adult porn.

Now that i'm also older, I seem to have this "Thing" for looking at kids private areas in public? Not only kids but sometimes adults.
It happens at water parks where i try looking at kids/adults, look to see if a kid or guy has a "hard-on" anything like that. Little girls that pick up their dress, i try to look. KNOWNING that i wont see or find anything, its just that obession to just look down there. I also peak on people in urinals, mostly kids sometimes people my age....

I've had dreams when i was younger doing sexual things to people my same sex (im a guy)

I dont like that i'm doing this, I wish i could stop but i think from seeing so much of it my life when i was growing up i've grown accustom to it.
I've also had thoughts of taking my life because i am having a hard time understanding why I am doing this...

A little about me:
I'm in college now, I've had a girlfriend for 2 1/2 years. Never been molested as a child or anything like that. I have anexity issues sometimes about little things (Tests, pregnancy, money...) Sometimes as bad as not eating for days, and minimal sleep at night.
MY girlfriend told me a story of how she got molested when she was younger and it made me sick, and mad to hear that. I have a low tollerance for rape and molest
(A spanish film i had to watch had a rape scene in it, and i left because i felt this sickness in my stomach.)
Cried reading about the sandusky case..

Deep in my heart i know that it is wrong VERY wrong to ever molest a child, but I am SCARED out of the witts that I could someday ever molest a child, or even my own children. I've been sick with this thought for some time now 🙁
I keep thinking (What is the one thing that is keeping me from falling off this cliff? as the joker says in batman rises: "Maddness is like gravity...all you need is a little push")

I have taken my little cousins to the restroom before and it has gone through my head that i could touch them because nobody is watching. But I haven't done anything to them. But I feel SICK that the thought went through my head.

I'm scared that i could become a molester one day and destroy a child's life, & i need help on my "Looking" problem.

I've recently did away with all porn as well, to try and contain myself, and live a more healthier life.

Please serious answers only!
Thanks For Reading This!

July 7, 2012
1:48 am
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kroika
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Hi Skinnypete,

As you are in college, you might want to check out campus services. Or maybe start with the bookstore, if you are uncomfortable meeting a counsellor in person to start with. There are quite a few books out now dealing with sex and porn addiction. Patrick Carnes has several books you might find useful.

There are also quite a few online resources. One which I highly recommend is RecoveryNation (go to www dot RecoveryNation dot com) where you will find a very compassionate community dedicated to rebuilding your own healthy sexuality.

It's good you are reaching out. There is hope. You can live a healthy life, and you don't have to become a molester.

I wish you good luck and success with your journey to health.

July 7, 2012
7:38 am
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skinnypete2014
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July 6, 2012
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Hi Skinnypete,

As you are in college, you might want to check out campus services. Or maybe start with the bookstore, if you are uncomfortable meeting a counsellor in person to start with. There are quite a few books out now dealing with sex and porn addiction. Patrick Carnes has several books you might find useful.

There are also quite a few online resources. One which I highly recommend is RecoveryNation (go to www dot RecoveryNation dot com) where you will find a very compassionate community dedicated to rebuilding your own healthy sexuality.

It's good you are reaching out. There is hope. You can live a healthy life, and you don't have to become a molester.

I wish you good luck and success with your journey to health.

Thanks! i'm joining the forum as we speak!

Anyone else have any help for me? I feel so sick to my stomach.

August 23, 2012
9:45 pm
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bevdeeSUX
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August 5, 2012
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bevdee is posting as skinneypete2014

August 24, 2012
4:04 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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The fact that you can identify that you may have a real problem and a real issue is very good. You must however act on it. Your thoughts could end up turning into actions if something were to change in your life. It would be wise for you to consider the damage you might impose on a child by your thoughts turning into probable action & immediately seek help from a qualified professional.

September 1, 2012
9:04 pm
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heroworshipper
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Your a good guy Pete.  God loves you and God doesn't make no junk and don't you forget that

September 24, 2012
9:12 pm
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ShiningLight
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February 9, 2011
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skinnypete2014,

 

It might be best to submit yourself to a behavioral therapist/counselor specializing in porn addiction. That way you'll be given proper treatment and advise. Don't be afraid to seek professional help because this time around you need it the most. You have a good conscience and you have a heart concerning your future and the consequences of your actions so before it's too late seek some support. You are not a bad person yet but it can be avoided as long as you are willing to CHANGE. Just be strong. You'll get through this soon.

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