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New Here-Hardly know where to begin...
June 7, 2005
4:08 am
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badkitty77
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September 30, 2010
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I just discovered recently that I have symptoms of codependency. I still haven't wrapped my mind totally around it. One problem that I have been having recently is with relationships. I feel paralyzed with fear when it comes to romantic connections with others. I second, third and fourth guess everything I say and everything that is said to me. I always think that I am coming on to strong and I am going to scare people away. I over analyze every interaction that takes place. I find myself in my head saying "what did that mean?" a lot of the time. It's like this running dialogue that I can't stop. I fear that if I can't correct this behavior that I will never be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone. I've almost gotten to the point where I don't even want to consider having relationships to keep myself from going crazy. I feel like I am totally out of control of my own thoughts and feelings. Another thing that I do is make every situation about me in every negative way possible. Where can I start to correct this?

June 7, 2005
6:30 am
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revelation
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September 27, 2010
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Hello there,

Firstly, take a deep breath and just breathe....
Look, there are a lot of people here who will identify with you. I certainly do. I just EXHAUST myself at times with this mind-racing analysing thing. So much so that I actually just break-down in tears because I am wrecking my own head.
You won't just correct this overnight. For several reasons, you have learned to think this way and the longer you have been like this, the longer it will take. But once you have realised that what you are doing is not good for you then thats a very big step. The book "codependent no more" is mentioned a lot on this site, its by author Melanie Beatty. Its mentioned a lot because its so good. Just reading the first few pages will actually help you to calm down. I would highly recommend it. Its helped me permanently in lots of ways, but sometimes when I get back into panic-mode and start over-thinking, I just pick up this book and instantly it makes me stop.
Other than that, this board and the people on it are great.
As for a little tip to make you stop the "what did that mean" way of thinking. next time you start thinking like that...stop and say to yourself, I will think about this for x minutes at x o'clock on x date, I will not think about it now, there is no rush, then close your eyes take a few deep breath's and get on with YOUR life!

June 7, 2005
11:22 am
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Randomwomen2
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September 29, 2010
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hey hun revelation had some realy good advice so i dont have much to add i just wanted to say welcome to this site. I am glad you have found it it realy is a great place

June 7, 2005
8:48 pm
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badkitty77
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September 30, 2010
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This is sort of funny. My mother is also codependent and bought the book many years ago. She kept trying to force me to read it and I told her to get away from me with it. I just asked her to mail it to me yesterday LOL. My, how things change. 🙂

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