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New here and need guidance
March 24, 2008
11:13 am
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Needynomore
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September 27, 2010
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I was in a 9 and a half year relationship and he dropped the bomb on me 2 days before christmas that he was done. We had bought a house together and lived there the last 2 years with my 2 daughters. He was mean and uptight, he would get mad over stupid things and I lived trying to keep things smoothed over. He didn't like my 14 year old and would tell me so and refused to speak to her. Would get mad at times and yell to get out and then ask if it was to late, can we work it out? I left and we stayed in undesirable conditions for a month, now my girls and I are in a new home. He was still calling. Finally a friend told me he had been seeing someone and there was even a pregnancy scare. I addressed the issue and blocked him from my phone and e-mails. BUT WHY do I sit here and feel so sad everyday. I have terrible thoughts that I want him to suffer. I am scared to be alone and feel that no one else will ever want me. He rarely made me feel good about myself and would make comments on my complexion, my hair, my body at times. He was actively drinking for the first 4 years and then became sober. He is now remorseful, or so I heard, but not for what he did to me and my girls, but because he has been exposed. He can't look bad EVER. I can't let go of the anger, the resentment, the fear of being alone, the hurt. I also have had people tell me that this wasn't the first time during the relationship that he did this. How do I let go? I hate that I was so submissive, stupid and wasted all that time. I am 43 but inside I feel like a helpless child.

March 24, 2008
11:23 am
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luvmnms
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September 27, 2010
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i think you need to try to refocus all the energy you put into this man, right back into yourself and especially your girls. can you imagine how they feel having had to watch you struggle through all the difficult times.

you need to just start believing in yourself. i know it is hard!! the more you distance yourself from the situation, the easier it will get. i think it is great that you have blocked him from your phone and e-mail. anything you can do to keep you mind off of him will do wonders.

try not to burden your girls with how you feel either. keep posting and find other adults that you can vent to so they don't feel the stress of this. they are going through enough just being young girls. show them how to make the very best of a bad situation and come out a winner!! just think, maybe you can be the one to keep them from going through the same thing!!

best of luck. hang in there!!

March 24, 2008
11:27 am
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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hi...i think will all the abuse you took from this man, you may feel unworthy of yourself. Actually, be happy that he is out of your life, for a man to put you down, not have anything good to say, what kind of happiness is that, and 9 years is a long time.

cherish the time you have with your children & focus on you. Know that it will take time to heal from this relationship & the more focus you put on your wants and needs, the stronger of a person you become.

Try not to waste time thinking about him, i know its easier said than doen, but it seems like he didn't care to much and put you thru alot of pain.

((((hugs to you)))) camer

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