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new guy with prob
April 26, 2004
9:33 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hello all, I'm 29 years old and have come to realize I am co-dependent. I've known this young woan early 20's for sometime through my brother's wife (her cousin). About a year and half ago I finally had the nerve to ask her out putting aside the fact that she is "family" and a known alcoholic and what I thought was a small meth problem. Well one day aftre we had a few drinks together she told me why her son had been taken from her by her parents and that she wanted to "straighten up". Well for the past year it's been a hayride to hell. Promises were made that she would go seek mental health with me taking her to all appointments and mini vacas to the beach or the the bay or trips with and her son. This was all done knowing that she wasn't ready for a relationship or intimacy. Fine i can see it and I agreed no strings attached I do for you so that you can achieve your goal since everyone else has "givin up" on you.. Than when an appointment would be cancelled oor changed by mistake . . . she would go on a binge of meth and drama. I never knew how bad her addiction was until I touched her arm one day and felt a track mark. I was heartbroken but still hung on this whole summer was spent at rivers and beautiful places talking about how and what she wanted to do go to mental health, rehab, women's shelter, and than she could get her job, car, and her son back. This is inbetween days that she spends on skid row and me picking her up from these places and me nursing her back to health for a few days. I tell her everyday how much I love her (do I really?) and care about her and how herr family cares for her; well after numerous chances she has been given by her family she has blown them all she got to go back home for the holidays, she had a job, she went back to school, rehab, and she throws it all away for a convict boyfriend and a new high the big H. Last week she tells me she's hit rock bottom ( enroute home from detox BTW) and how much she hates that SOB and H. W We decide that I will rent her a room for a month so that she may start an outpatient rehab and start working again. Well last night it's been dangerously clear I have a problem "Taxi Driver" style ala Travis Bickle. Because when she tells me that her boyfriend will take her to the room I tell her that I rented it for her not her to get her life in order he hears this and threatens me to stab me and beat me! Well I'm normally a calm person but now I feel that my life is threatened. She tells me that I shouldn't upset him because he already stabbed someone this week. ek she had a boyfriend in the past I was ok with it in fact I took her to see him in county jail(stupid huh?) So its not that she has a boyfriend its that this guy has her into herion and it has come to the point that her life is in danger due to her drug use and the way he treats her (choking her, threating her, etc.) now he has threatented me. I am scared what I might do there he is staying with her in a apt I paid for to help her get away from that life and I feel extreme hate for this guy How has it come to the point where I want to hurt someone over this poor little red haired girl?

April 26, 2004
11:47 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You cant save her, you can only save yourself. You are not responsible for her. You have done enough for her, probably too much to the point that you have enabled her to continue on this path of destruction.

Now you are at risk. I know it's easier said than done but maybe it's time for you to let go. Don't let her take you down with her. It's not worth the price you may pay.

Take care

April 27, 2004
2:46 am
New Member
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

HI 4,

You know what? There are some people in this world, that no matter how much you care about them, how much you love them, how much you try to help them, how many times you bail them out... you just cannot help them. Sadly, it sounds as if she is one of them.

Perhaps it is time to drop the lease of the room in your name, let her get evicted, and although you might always care about her as a friend (because you sound like a caring person), you have to move on with your life - without her.

Good luck,


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