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New and not sure what to do!
March 23, 2010
12:07 am
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bestfriend
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Hi. I found this site because I am looking for some help. My best friend of 6 years is on a destructive path right now. I am so worried about him. I know his heart is broken, but how he is handling it isn't the right way. From sleeping around, to drinking and being all together irresponsible.

I have tried having conversations with him to tell him how worried I am. Nothing I have done has seemed to make a difference. It hurts me to see him hurt so bad.

March 23, 2010
12:21 am
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MsMissy
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Hi. You are a caring friend. I have joined just this weekend. I am beginning also to see in myself a destructive path and I am getting worse. I talked to my best friend and she says this is very good for me and I am going to start going to support groups for coDa. It will only work if he can see his situation is a sickness and not a problem. I know I am not well and how I react to situations is not my fault. I hope to find peace with these support groups and this site. Good Luck and keep me updated.

March 23, 2010
12:40 am
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bestfriend
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Hi Ms.Missy. Great for you by getting help.

He is stubborn. He will not get help. He is "having fun". I am the end of my rope with him and his fun. He never has treated women like a piece of ass, now that is his mo.

March 23, 2010
4:09 pm
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gettnthere
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September 29, 2010
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Hi BF....if you don't mind me asking, do you have or have had issues of codependency yourself? Just trying to understand why his behavior is causing you such a massive degree of distress. Has he treated you like a piece of ass too?... Good on you though for being supportive and trying to find out more.

March 23, 2010
5:39 pm
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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hi bestfriend, its up to your friend to stop his own behavior, you can give im advice, tell him what you think, but all and all, its his choice on what he wants to do.

It may be a hard path for him to learn, but you've done your best and now its up to him to change.

March 23, 2010
5:49 pm
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atalose
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September 24, 2010
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Welcome bestfriend,

It’s so hurtful to watch someone you care about self destruct. As much as want to stop them, get in there way hoping they change course, we just don’t have that kind of power over another human being.

Sometimes all we can do is just get out of their way and allow them to find their own way in life even if we don’t agree with the path they chose.

How about being a friend from a distance, if his behavior is causing you such distress then you need to put as much focus back on you that you have been putting on him. Step back, give yourself some breathing room.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

March 23, 2010
10:43 pm
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bestfriend
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Gettnthere
I am not a codependent. I consider myself someone who is looking out for a great friend. Plus I am the one who broke him. That makes me feel even worse.

Camer
I agree it is up to him. I am the guilty one who hurt him. It is eating me up inside. He did not deserve what I did to him.

Atalose
I don't know if I could go without having him in my life. I miss his smile. He always knows how to make me laugh.

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