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New and need some insight and a friend
December 15, 2003
2:13 pm
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ebonyphoenix
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Hello, i'm new to the group. I am a freshman in college and am sad to say that thus far i have not had a good experience. Don't get me wrong i have had fun at times but overall i feel that after my first semester that i have mad no real friends. I know college is a new and extremely awkward social situation so at first i was apt to that and understanding but now that my first semester is over i still feel lonely. i thought that by now i would at least have a few close friends.
Also my family has been of no help whatsoever. I live with my grandparents and my mother is now trying to get back into my life which comes at an awkward time because it's kinda late. But she of course doesn't understand me or know me which makes me really sad. My grandparents will do stuff for me but you can tell it's not sincere and that they don't care. Frankly I am tired of being in a situation where I feel that way. Like it is forced which is how I feel everywhere I go. Even with my friends at home and my boyfriend, I feel the pressure of being a burden. I don't know what to do. Don't worry I am not suicidal, I just feel defeated and apathtic to my life right now. Idon't want to feel like that. I want to be excited about every aspect of my life and confident.I am often good at finding the optimism in situations but it is getting harder to ignore the fact that I am unhappy. Any suggestions on how to cope and deal with it? Honestly I just want someone to dialogue with . If it's not too much drop a note or e-mail [email protected].

December 15, 2003
2:16 pm
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mj
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Hi,
Welcome....
Have you had the opportunity to read the guidelines.....it is safer if you don't post your email...in fact its against the guidelines.
This thread will disappear because of it.

Welcome, and post again.

December 15, 2003
2:32 pm
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Kessie
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Hi ebonyphoenix - I'm new to the group, too, but already I feel better. I read your message with interest because I remember feeling exactly like you when I was first at college, (university) and that was nearly forty years ago! It took a long time to get over the feelings of depression and loneliness, and I made a lot of mistakes; but I'm still standing! post again.
all the best, K

December 15, 2003
3:18 pm
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gingerleigh
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I was really lonely in college, especially my freshman year. I was in a dorm with all the other freshman, none of whom did any of the same things I did. All they wanted to do was party, and they were either poly sci majors or psych majors or jocks. They could blast their stereos at 2am, but I couldn't practice my flute at 10pm... the next year, things got infinitely better, because I ended up moving to a theme dorm called the Arts dorm, where everyone was either into music or sculpture or poetry or something like that. Common ground.

Do you participate in any activities other than classes? Music, or sports, or activity groups? Newspaper? Volunteering?

December 15, 2003
5:58 pm
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vegas
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My first quarter in college was that way too...had no friends. And it sucked cuz I attended a univer. out of my home state. I didn't have a car. I didn't have anyone. Even my roommate and i didn't click.

I stayed in a coed dorm...that experience was really cool. I actually made friends with other asians in my hallway as we all ate "sticky rice." Our cafeteria served that RIce-a-Roni stuff. Oh, and remembering the cafeteria, I was so dreadfully "socially retarded," I didn't go to eat at the cafeteria unless someone invited me...I didn't want to eat alone...I ended up losing 15pounds. Crazy, huh?

BUt, I did eventually make friends. I joined some clubs and organizations, got involved with campus community stuff. I also joined choir and performed often for the dorms. Do you workout? I met several people that way too.

Oh! I also remember participating in study groups...that's probably the best way to meet people.

Girl, you sound like all you need to do it get into the mix of things on campus. You also sound like someone pretty sure for herself...so just go for it. You're in college! You should be having fun and experiencing new things...opening your mind.

take care...you'll be fine!
vegas

December 16, 2003
2:02 pm
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smucks
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I have also been in the same situation and am in one now. I am in my fourth year in college and can count the number of friends I have on one hand and half of them are my true close friends from home who have been with me a majority of my life. I have recently joined a student activity group and while I have not made any "close" friends, I have met people and been able to at least socialize a little bit.

I think it happens to a lot of people in college. Where i go to school half the year people are working and the other half they are in classes so it is even more difficult when some friends are away at a job and I'm in school and vice versa. I just try to do my own thing, be as pleasant as i can to people and not worry too much about it. I do feel lonely at times because it seems like a lot of people are interested in things I'm not, but if they're your true friend they won't judge you for not doing something they don't want to do. Hang in there, like I said i'm already in my fourth year and thought I would at least have a few close friends at my school and it does depress me at times but it also motivates me to try new things and meet new people!

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