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neshie's Saturday night
September 11, 2005
9:27 pm
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mamacinnamon
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22:

Until he starts counseling he very well may not know how to react. I can give him that little bit. We are as knowledgeable as we were raised until we further our knowledge on our own. That's just the way it is.

As for the crying. I don't think any man, well few men know how to handle it. I know my hubby doesn't handle my crying well. Says it makes him feel bad. Well, had he not made me cry...... you know the rest. I have even said... I just need a hug when I cry. So, he now will give me a hug and then there he goes to his cave coz he cannot handle seeing me cry. It hurts him. My on my, what a vicious circle. I'm jumpin off before I fall off from dizziness.

It would be nice if he were to help you, but honey you are the only one that can truly help yourself; to make the changes needed to heal. He is responsible for his part in this whole mess, but so are you. His responsibility tho is for him to heal himself. He cannot heal you. That is your job. It will take time and it will be hard at times, but hey, you have us to fall back on... what a scarry thought. (just kidding). Seriously, the folks here are so willing to help and you can always come here when you are feeling the fallout.

So, that said.... Let's get started. The sooner you start to heal the sooner you can deal w/ your future.

September 11, 2005
9:41 pm
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22haha
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Hi ladies. Thanks. Mama- very wise post. I am going to do my best to heal myslef while he learns to better his knowledge of himself. I guess when the past starts to creep up on me I will think of something else and change my frame of mind. I just worry that the past isn't really the past yet, understand? That being said...

Nesh - I am glad your arthritis is a little better today. Prednisone? How long have you been on it?
How is the promotion crap going? Any progress? I think you did scare Shaney off... either that or she ate the green fuzzy cake! Either way.. we must find our wrestling buddy.

September 11, 2005
10:07 pm
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Neshema
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Gfs-

I am in promotion hell...I mean I am sorry to whine. THere are so many displaced people out there. THis is just NOT what I want for myself. I have been chained to my desk for weeks. I want to see my mom. I want to live my life. I want to help others. I don't want to do endless formatting of bullets on a 40 page document. I stink at clerical stuff. I am taking prednisone for 2 weeks just to get through it. I am so freakin isolated working on this. I just want to scrap the whole thing. I don't even have a love life to complain about anymore, because no one knows I exist. I thought it would be done today, but it is not. I was too tired. It seems like I push myself one day, and then the next day not much gets done...just a bunch of worrying. Well, this week I have to get this one document done and i also have my day job. I can't keep it up much longer. Sorry for all the whining, but this is NOT what I wanted in life....this and a lousy phone relationship, and there is nothing I can do about it for now.

September 11, 2005
10:17 pm
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22haha
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Nesh - hang in there gf. Just take one day at a time with this promotion thing. You'll get it done. I know you want to see your mom and do other things. Can you find time to do that? It sounds like you are focusing all you time and energy on work. I wish I could make you smile right now, sounds like you could use one. As far as the lousy phone relationship - maybe it's time to think about hanging it up (no pun intended). He doesn't seem to meet many of your needs. Oh, and do we have needs or what?

September 11, 2005
10:24 pm
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Neshema
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I am gonna find something to eat finally. UGH. thanks for the support, 22. i am so miserable.

September 11, 2005
10:30 pm
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Neshema
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okay, i am microwaving an organic dinner, which I will eat at my desk.

22, as for hanging up on him i put my IM on offline status all day. and as for the other guy who asks me out all the time who screwed up a few times, i blocked him. How am I doing?

September 11, 2005
10:31 pm
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22haha
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Nesh- just finished a big bowl of cereal. I am heading off to bed soon, quiet here tonight. Hope you get your work done tonight so you can see your mom tomorrow. Hope she is doing o.k.

I am feeling stronger again tonight after reading other posts. It really, honestly helps so much to be here. Mama had some wise words earlier.

Oh, gosh, Nesh this will make you smile... the bf worked last night, overnight, and I had a hot tub party without him. He called to say goodnight and I asked if I could. He said sure.. So I did - in a clean tub with NO naked people. It felt good to be the hostess with the mostess. Best part.... I don't feel very germy today :o) Goodnight Neshola. Hope tomorrow is a little brighter for you.

September 11, 2005
10:31 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Nesh:

BREATHE!! Take a break and get dinner. I have to get hubby off to work then I'll be back.

Later Ladies,

September 11, 2005
10:34 pm
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22haha
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Nesh - you are doing great. You need someone who is relaiable, attentive and can meet your needs. This man doesn't sound like he is around too often. Hasn't kissed ya since July? Do you realize we are in SEPTEMBER now? Um, hello, my lips would be so lonely at this point I'd be kissing the mirror. Lol. Why don't you go out and find a brand spanken new man?

September 11, 2005
10:35 pm
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Neshema
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22, you sound good. I can't see my mom for another week...she lives out of town.

mama, no time to breath and the prednisone is bothering my tummy this time.

September 11, 2005
10:37 pm
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22haha
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Nesh - how about some time for you? Can't youtake an hour and just relax doing whatever it is you enjoy doing? Just one hour and then you can go back to work.

September 11, 2005
10:39 pm
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Neshema
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mama, okay, u r smart. U hit the nail on the head...anxiety. I am having anxiety.. didn't recognize it, cuz I am not the type....okay, i gotta calm down.i think that is why i keep checking this place. It helps distract me from the anxiety.

September 12, 2005
12:58 am
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mamacinnamon
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Nesh:

Do you know biofeedback or relaxation techniques? If so, use them. If not, I'll type it out for you. Let me know. To lazy to type if you already know how.

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