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Neshie, Night Crew Needs You
September 13, 2005
8:55 pm
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bonita1
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Neshie,

How are you feeling, hon? You seemed so down on last night's posting. I am here to support you...(after I get dinner on the stove) LOL

Seriously, Neshie, I will return later and join the rest of the Night Crew in providing each other with much needed support.

love ya, ;D

bonbon

September 13, 2005
9:09 pm
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Shaney
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hi bonita pita - what's for dinner?

Neshilicious - get in here and let us know how many dove bars you've harfed down today? Congratulations on finishing your project - WHAT a relief, and an accomplishment. I'm proud of you, now we need to find you a man who derserves such a scholar. You need to drag your bad little self to this thread so we can talk about when and where we're going to wrestle. No, really though, I'm missing you. :o{

September 13, 2005
11:00 pm
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Neshema
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bon bon and shanester-

thanks for caring. I just had it out with my gay bf.

September 13, 2005
11:02 pm
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bonita1
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Neshie,

As my therapist is fond of telling me..., "You don't need a man to be happy!" I am finding this is really true and enjoying being by myself (as much as one can with a 6 & 12 year old LOL).

Repeat after me, "You-Don't-Need-A-Man-To-Be-Happy!!"

Shaney-licious!! You crack me up and make me hungry for a pita all at the same time!! I made meatballs, Mexican Style Soup with only one red chile (don't want it hot, 'cuz I have little kids!)
Put some lime juice and yummy, you are good to go.

~~bonbon

September 13, 2005
11:03 pm
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depressionsucks78
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hi, can i join the night crew? on tuesday wednesday and thursday? those are my nights off, and i need some people to talk to. life just sucks right now

~ds78

September 13, 2005
11:06 pm
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bonita1
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upsetting confrontation?

September 13, 2005
11:08 pm
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bonita1
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(((((((depressions'))))))) You sound like you need a hug.

September 13, 2005
11:08 pm
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depressionsucks78
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for me? no

September 13, 2005
11:09 pm
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depressionsucks78
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oh my bad.....i do need a hug, just wish it was real

my refresh is a little slow, sorry

September 13, 2005
11:10 pm
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bonita1
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Upsetting confrontation that Neshie might have had with her gay-bf.

Depressionsucks, why the long face??

September 13, 2005
11:13 pm
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bonita1
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ds78,

I haven't read any of your posts so I don't have a clue as to why you are so down? How's your love life? Life in general?

September 13, 2005
11:13 pm
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depressionsucks78
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long story, my thread is right near the top if you want to read it. i'm just so sick of life right at the moment, sick of everything about it.

September 13, 2005
11:15 pm
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bonita1
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You had a gun pointed at you? I'm going to read it. BRB

September 13, 2005
11:15 pm
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Neshema
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come on in DS

yes, i got mad at him on the phone. I needed some info from him for work. He did not reply to my emails all day. Emotions are running high with our promotions. I left him a message, saying I am tired of being low on his list of priorities. Naturally, i got a call, but I was talking to my mother about her fatal diagnosis. he calls the cell and land line. Finally, I call him back and he starts yelling at me, saying he was in meetings all day. So what. I can be in meetings all day and shoot him off an email and say at least when to expect a response.i told him I am pulling back to protect myself, speaking of boundaries (his favorite word), and of course, he has to tell me how much he cares about me. So, I just tell him, I need him to show (not say) he cares more, or I am just sadly finding myself caring less and less.

September 13, 2005
11:15 pm
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depressionsucks78
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i had a gun pulled on me at work saturday, and was very depressed even before that.

good news is, i'm not having suicidal thoughts now.

bad news is, i don't really wna to be alive either.

September 13, 2005
11:23 pm
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depressionsucks78
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i'm not gone, just gotta go have a smoke break, be back in a few.

September 13, 2005
11:26 pm
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Neshema
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ok, I am seriously gonna cry if someone doesnt pay attn to my issues.

September 13, 2005
11:33 pm
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bonita1
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ds78,

A few years ago, I was in a store while a robbery was going on. I was walking into the store, pushing my daughter's stroller (the one who is 12 now) and a young punk was walking right by me with a gun in his hand.

I looked at him, he looked at me and I just kept walking stroller and all. I didn't stop and he kept going and went into the manager's office. Since I knew the layout of the store I went into the bathroom and took another lady and her kid with me and locked the door. Yes, we were scared. But we started praying together right there in the bathroom. In a little while we heard the sound of sirens. Then we heard the footsteps that we knew were the police and we let ourselves out. We were safe.

Yes, I was nervous and shaky for a few days after that. That is only normal and to be expected. But, I was also very thankful that we had not gotten hurt. I admit it took me a little while to go back to that store again. But, I did go back a few times. Little by little I stopped going to that store altogether,where before it had been my favorite place to shop.

There is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with being afraid. I call that having a very strong and healthy instinct for survival. If worse comes to worse, maybe you can ask for a transfer or look into a different line of work. There is no shame in that.

Just my humble opinion,

bonita

September 13, 2005
11:35 pm
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Neshema
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This is not what i wanted in life... I never wanted to be internationally known and alone. I never wanted to be chronically ill and have barely enough energy to go to work. I never wanted to have a bf with intimacy issues whom is otherwise wonderful. I never wanted the most wonderful mother who is desparately ill, and I am to busy working on my promotion to spend time with her. I never wanted to be what some people describe as "model beautiful, caring, smart, and financially independent" yet single. What did I ever do to be condemned to a life of work, illness, and sleep? I tried so hard to work it out with the ACOA ex bf, but he insisted on going of his psych meds. I have everything in common with this current guy and neither of us can walk, but he has a fear of intimacy. I cannot meet new people since i had a stalker, plus I want this one. Life is passing me by. Help me.

September 13, 2005
11:36 pm
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bonita1
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Neshie, honey!!

We must share each other. LOL

I was already posting to ds78 before you came on, sweetie, and didn't see your post about your bf going off on you!! I'm sorry. Ok, shoot!! You've got my attention.

~~bonbon

September 13, 2005
11:40 pm
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Neshema
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okay, bon bon, i wrote all i have to say. scroll up, please.

September 13, 2005
11:45 pm
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bonita1
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Jeez, hon!!

You been blessed with so many things! But unhappiness seems to dog your foot steps?

You are where you are because of hard work and determination in following your goals. You are unhappy and seem to think that is is because you do not have a man or a life's companion in your life. No, honey. This is wrong thinking. Your happiness comes from inside of you, not from any external sources.

Take a sabbatical and go be with your mother while you still can. The Family Leave Act is there for a reason. Bing with mom would give you joy and peace and more wonderful memories.

In my opinion,

bonbon

September 13, 2005
11:50 pm
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bonita1
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Neshie, hon, I have to help my girls with their homework. I'll be back in a little while.

Seriously think about what I said. Maybe the promotion is not really what you want or need right now? You already have tenure. You certainly don't seem to need to be known anymore than you already are (from your post you mentioned being internationally known)and you are financially secure?

Then, being with mom sounds good to me (speaking as a mom, I know she'd love to have you!)

Later, neshie

~~bonbon

September 13, 2005
11:50 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Neshie:

Honey, life does not always give us what we want, but it gives us what we are to be. You have a purpose in this life. I agree that the cards are not dealing you a great hand, but the hand you are meant to have. Unfair? Yes, I think so. I could say that for myself too, but thru my afflictions I have had many many blessings. Meeting you is one of them. Let me give you a little food for thought.

For we are to rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us....... from back in the Romans of 5.

We don't know what our destiny is. You may have great things planned as you have accomplished great things. And if you ask, I'm sure there is someone for you waiting in the future. Someone that will love you and cherish you unlike this guy.

Stand strong and persevere.

September 13, 2005
11:51 pm
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depressionsucks78
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neshie~ i DIDN'T mean to take over, i'm SOOO sorry, sweetie.

i, too, had a stalker, and i'm still getting phone calls, but i try to meet people anyway. i have enough other crap in my life, i had to figure out some way to still make friends, and hopefully meet a great guy. i'm still working on that, but maybe we can help each other.

i don't know how old you are, or what kind of interests you have, but i love to sing, and every once in a while, i like going to karaoke with my best friend, and i try to look nice when i go, so that if, by chance, i meet someone, i at least look decent. do you have trouble with men when they find out about your psychological issues? i do. they all talk to me, and want to be around me, until they find out what a wreck i am on the inside. then they run.

IMHO, that is because there is still SUCH a stigma attached to anything having to do with emotions. i'm sure there are other reasons too, but it seems to me that we, as humans, fear what we do not understand. unfortunately, i think men react more harshly than we do.

i know how hard it is, neshie, i really do. but we have to remember that not every man in the world is an asshole.

love ya!

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