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December 29, 2005
4:26 pm
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katarina
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September 24, 2010
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I am so depressed. I'm living a lie called a marriage. I'm on depression meds. The situation is that my husband does not want to go away on a vacation with me or have sex with me. we have been together for about seven years. Ok, before we got married we did things together as a couple. We have only gone on one jaunt to the coast once since we got married. Financially I'm stuck in a job that dosen't pay much and I'm catching up on some credit card debt. He does not share any of his money with me. He owns a brand new truck and brand new car and tells me if I want I can drive his car but, I don't because he really dosen't want me too. I help with the bills as much as I can. I clean and cook and keep his house going. He leaves on trapshooting events and spends alot of money on them. He buys, anything he wants most of the time. I am not on any credit cards or anything else financially around here. I am a piece of furniture around here. we don't even have bank accounts together. I feel we have nothing. I feel empty inside.

December 29, 2005
4:31 pm
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artist 2
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September 27, 2010
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Wow, he sounds really selfish. Where is the partnership in your marriage? No wonder you feel so worthless. I'm so sorry... Let me think about this to see if I have any helpful information.

Do you have friends? Are you going to therapy to talk about solutions?

December 29, 2005
4:48 pm
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katarina
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I just feel pathetic. How can I let this guy do this to me. I feel like a doormat. I can't even beleive that I'm doing this to myself. He makes me feel like I'm a loser because I don't make enough. I have fibromyalgia or Lupus. I haven't been totally diagnosed with Lupus because it is so hard to diagnose. I have so many health and my mom has mouth cancer. I can't handle everything with my mom and my health when I really have a pretend relationship.

December 29, 2005
4:51 pm
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artist 2
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He sounds like a real jerk. You have a support group? See if you can make at least one meeting. Get yourself out of the house around people who value you. He clearly does not. Get away... Can you stay with your mom?

Lastly: remember you are not a victim, just in the wrong place with an unsupportive person. If you go on seeing yourself as a victim, you might feel even worse. Best to just start making plans, taking action.

December 29, 2005
4:52 pm
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overcome
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Some people will go their whole lives without ever addressing a situation.

You should feel good about yourself, as you have pinpointed that there is a problem and it needs to be addressed. You have also made the step of coming here for help.

Perhaps talk to your husband about your feelings. Whether he agrees with you or not, if that is how you are feeling, then it needs attention. If you are both willing, counseling can be beneficial. It will infuse a neutral third party trained in handling marital issues.

I wish you much luck.

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