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Need some one to listen
September 8, 2000
7:47 pm
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ajob
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September 29, 2010
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I have a problem. I have a friend who is my best friend and I have fallen deeply in love with him. I have kept this inside for two years and it just kept growing and growing. I never said anything before because he was happpily married, now he is in theprocess of getting a divorce. I'm 22 and he's 38. He found out that I was in love with him and he told me that it would never work only because of the age difference. I don't want to loose him as a friend, but I know that if he finds another woman I don't know if I can handle it. I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest. I know there are a lot of couples that have an age difference. I know that if he would give us the chance that it would work. I need answers/ advice fast please.

September 8, 2000
7:56 pm
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Cutie14
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September 24, 2010
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Oh...I am only 14 but I am really sad to hear this! I admit I don't have the best advice, but I have been dating for about 5 years...I wish that all people were like you and me...I mean like the age really doesn't matter, as long as you are in love. I really don't know what to say because I haven't gone through this, some of my friends have but I mean it is different since my friends and I are teenagers. well I guess all I can really say is hang in there. Maybe you could stay really close to him and always be there when he needs someone since he is going through the process of a divorce. He probably mostly is saying that it wouldn't work because he is really just hurt since he is getting divorced and he is afraid to go into another relationship. Well I doubt I helped, but just hang in there, the people on this site are really good when it comes to giving advice.
Good Luck!
Cutie14

September 10, 2000
6:22 pm
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lazydazy
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I agree, give him some time. I've been on the other side. Sometimes, you care so much about your best friend that your afraid for anthing to happen between you. Your afraid that your not over the hurt, you still want to "sow your wild oats", you think of your best friend as someone to settle down with and you dont want to f#@$* that up! Maybe he feels so much for you but its not the right time. Maybe he just doesnt even want to think of another relationship right now. Or maybe he just strictly needs you as a friend. Hes probably having a hard time right now. I know its hard, but be there for him as a friend. He needs you!

September 10, 2000
11:38 pm
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janes
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Give it time. If you push him you lose the friend there too.

His needs may not match your needs currently.

Good luck.

September 11, 2000
2:08 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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People need time after the divorce, does he have children involved? If so this will be very difficult for him, and you could end up a rebound romance, and feeling worse than you do today. Post divorce immediate trauma I feel takes 2 years for people to reground them selves.

September 13, 2000
6:09 pm
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ajob
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I am the one who originally wrote this message. My friends wife or probably soon to be ex is a prominent person in our city, but she has a best friend who is a male and him an dher have been caught in a parking lot together, doing what I don't know she said talking. They probably were just talking, but with her position the rumors start flying. Well she has taken no steps in keeping herself from being seen withthis man alone. yes, my frien has two kids (I'll get back to that) and I have been out to eat with them several times. Well, now the father-n-law of the other guy has said something so now I can't even do anything with my friend. I understand why because he is a buisiness owner, but its still hard todeal with. Anyway I met my friend and his wife when she was pregnant with their first child and I was there when thay had their second. I have practically raised these kids. I love them as if they were my own and they love me too. They are young Pre-school and Kdg. age. Even during their marriage my friends wife would send us two out by ourselves to go to a movie. I am friends with them both but I am definitly closer to him. Right now I really miss him. Thanks for everyone's advice. Right now I think I'll just be the best friend that I can possilby be to him and then see what happens. Because I would rather have him as my best friend than not have him at all.

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