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Need help with Nmom
October 23, 2017
11:24 am
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Lynzrei08
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October 23, 2017
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I'm having trouble with a codependent and possibly narcissistic mom. Im 33. She hates my husband because she doesn't like his personality. I've explained him upbringing, doesn't matter. He is a quiet and reserved person around people he doesn't really know super well. He doesn't act that way around me. He never smiles enough, laughs enough, talks enough, etc. He's not attractive enough.
Every time I'm with mom and he texts or calls me, she says, "can't he ever leave you alone?!".. also her famous smirking angry face and eye rolls. So, I just keep my phone on silently and "got to the bathroom" to respond.
If I let 3 days go by and I haven't called her (she rarely calls me), she gets upset.
One year we stayed at my parents beach house with them for a week, my husband took our 6 year old home so I could stay another week with just them. When he leaves, I get the "thank God he's gone, he was irritating your dad sooo bad"!
She recently called up quilting me into telling her how much my husband makes a year because she thinks he's not a good provider and she's "worried for me".
Constantly saying my husband is "taking me away from her". That kinda creeps me out.
She calls to shame me over trivial Facebook stuff because if her friends see it it will embarrass her. This has happened 3 times recently.
She is master of the silence treatment and guilt trips. I had plans with a friend but she wanted me to come over. Cue the guilt tripping. So I do what I always do and give in. I said I would cancel and come over. She said, no.. because you will just pout the whole time.
When I come visit with my 6 year old, he is ignored and sitting inside watching tv for hours while I'm outside chatting with mom while she smokes. He never wants to go there because it's boring.
Once when me and my son were staying with them, he woke up at 6:30 and he quietly was entertaining himself all morning. 10am comes and mom wakes up and wants to chat with me outside. But my son now wants to play a game with me. She gets upset saying stuff about how he needs to learn to go entertain himself and I don't need to entertain him all the time.
Mom keeps telling me my son is so hard to handle and is too active and she thinks he has add.
Any time I joke about mom and dad watching son overnight they joking act scared and are like "no, no".
Anyway..
I finally got the courage to tell her to stop calling me to shame me over stupid Facebook stuff and to please stop with all the passive aggressiveness towards my husband. And if she doesn't stop calling me about Facebook I'm going to have to block her.
.. and her response is angry yelling, blaming husband for everything, and saying our relationship would never come back from this.
I'm now being punished with the silently treatment, even from my dad. Been a little more than a week now with silence.
I have my first therapy appointment tomorrow.

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