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Need Help Turning Around!!!
March 7, 2001
9:36 pm
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Molly
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so, like geeeeee whiz, not to be confused with cheese whizzzzz, what a place for you to mentally go. YOur future. Ok, so like do you want my personal e-mail to get the real crap out. I believe in detox. There is nothing like a good movement. Sorry to be silly. I think I read where some how through the site coordinator, we can exchange e-mails, but I could be wrong. But on the other hand, you could post under another name, and no one would know. Sooooo think about it. Keep on, keeping on, ok?

March 7, 2001
10:49 pm
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GothicGirl
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Ok so I am not the most optomistic person in the world and all that but ya know Life goes on(hince the song above) well Molly if you would like to email me at [email protected] you can. Well I am in a really groachy mood and tired so I am gonna go to bed ttyl

March 10, 2001
2:57 pm
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GothicGirl
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Ok everyone so my bad weekend turned into a bad weekend. Todya my sister bit me and I was bleeding. Well her tooth(which is loose cause she is six) started bleeding so she went running to my dad crying and he yelled at me like it was my fault she bit me. WEll then when my other sister tried to defend me by saying I was bleeding andthat she bit me he yelled and said HE DIDN'T CARE!!!! Ok so you know I know he doesn't care about me and stuff. But yeah so hopefully this will be the last of my bad week and now weekend. I HOPE!!!!!!

March 11, 2001
9:29 pm
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Molly
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I can't believe that I put this totally long post to you and its not here!! Any how this is scarey for me with the current media stuff with youth right now. So like how can you so carelessly put your email out there? If we do one on one, what will be different? How do I know you won't follow up on your threats? I don't know how I can support you more than what you have allready gotten from this thread, How do I know you won't go out and do something stupid and leave me guilt ridden? I admit I am afraid, since monday, and wonder what will this lead to ? My time is short, and I have agreed to keep in touch with some of my clients from the clinic, but there are conditions, like did you toss the stuff yet??????? No drugs no cutting and like get off it with the suicide threats, or running away, and like why don't you talk to your counselor, and aren't you on med's and so like do you get it????????????????? Give me some commitments, give me some reassurance, and give me some reason to do one on one which I am willing to do, and what do your parents have to say about it???????????? XXOO Molly

March 12, 2001
5:02 pm
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GothicGirl
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I have decided not to post anymore this will be my last post I am pretty sure. I am sorry for al the trouble greif and hard times I have given all of you and it was wrong of me. I am not better but that doesn't matter anymore. Well I am sorry again for all the trouble I have put you all through.

March 12, 2001
7:18 pm
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Molly
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Girl, you misunderstand, its not that your trouble, or have caused grief, we are all connected I believe, and if we can help that is great. My fear is that you get confused, or discouraged, and there is not much we can do on line. Why do you state that it does not matter any more? You also for get that you are underage, and that could cause problems for me, or any one else that works with you with out parental concent. Selfish I know, but believe me its not that we don't want to help you , there is a basic rule you can't help some one more than they are willing to do themselves. Since you did not toss your box of stuff, and didn't indicate that you are not going to toss the box of evil doing, it tells me that your not ready yet to give up that part of your life. I was trying to get you to commit to work. That is it, and I sure hope you continue to post good days and bad. Molly

March 13, 2001
6:47 pm
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GothicGirl
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Sorry all about soundingso down all the time today I have been in a pretty good mood today even with all my stress. I have decided to post still but not as frequently and a little bit less "dark" then I used to. Well today I had to talk to my school counselor because there were rumors I was cutting again when I haven't since before new years. Well I showed her my arms and we had to go through that all bit and she said she believed me because I seem really healthy lately and that I am making better choices. Well I will leave you alone and I don't want to pressure anyone to reply'.

March 13, 2001
9:48 pm
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Molly
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Girl, there is no pressure, but there are responsibilities in a relationship, and that is the way I look at it. I am greatful that you have decided to be less dark, its a bad habit to get into, been there once and a while, now I time my self, like ok, you get 5 minuets to sit on the pity pot, then its over. I am glad that your counselor believed you, that means lots to you I am sure. Its not that you have been a pain, its just that the next step, could have legal implications, as well as the ethical issues that I am very well aware of. I am not flippiant in what I choose to involve my self in, and many of us have attended to your thread, and development. Hell, in a heart beat, I would volunteer to be your mentor, if we lived in the same neighbor hood. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Just like they say about the internet, you just don't know who your e-mailing, and for all we know you or I could be chester the mosester, some old fart that could do harm. So be careful putting your e-mail out for all, there are also nasty viruses out there, and right now I can't afford any thing, know what I mean? So are you going to go to the camp??

March 14, 2001
1:01 pm
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WKOUT
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GOTHICGIRL,
I am new to the board but have found your postings since December to be heartfelt. I have a bestfriend who is Multiple and cuts on oneself...her body is a canvas of pain...I hurt to see it. I am sorry you have experienced such a horrific way to release your pain within....but am glad to read its been months since. You hang in there and never give up on yourself. We all play an important role in life and you need to find yours. Believe in it...the things you have gone through build you as a person and will provide you the strength needed when you find your purpose...you have one now and you have one tomorrow and......Jen

March 15, 2001
6:24 pm
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GothicGirl
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So today was the final day for try outs for softball and I am pretty sure I didn't make it OK so I KNOW I didn't make it. But oh well I will find out tomorrow for sure. Molly I uderstand were you are coming from completely. So I am going tro camp this summer. Well I g2g I will write more later.

March 16, 2001
6:26 pm
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Molly
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Promise???????????? Thank you for posting that you understand, I have been really troubled with this, I didn't want to let you down, but had to deal with this like a grown up, that sucks. Soft ball, did you like really want it? Go figure! Gotta run, but later if interested will tell you a soft ball story re: my girls getting on a team, I hate base ball, its stupid. sorry if I offended you baseball lovers. NOT

March 16, 2001
6:53 pm
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GothicGirl
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Yeah well I didn't make the team I cried a little over it but I guess there is not much I can do about it the coaches made their choices I guess it would have been easier if at the begining of try outs the coaches hadnt' said that if you didn't make the team you aren't could enough. Way to boast a girl like myself's self confidence when she doesn't make it. The team meant a whole lot to me you know especially since iget the pressure to sucseed in sports from my dad and stuff. But it makes me feel a little better that all the people who made it werefrom the same city(my school is split between two cities) and were all the "popular" people. But oh well I guess maybe there is next year or I could just give up on sports I am not sure. Well enough with the sob story. I better go.

March 17, 2001
12:03 pm
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Molly
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I don't think most of the sports today are for the "kids" pardon the expression. I think it is an extension of the parents ego. When we first moved to this town, it was the in thing to play soft ball. The girls wanted to play real bad, so I took them for tryouts, and before the girls got to try out, they said that they couldn't play because there was not enough parents to manage or coach. So I offered to be a manager and coach for both of them. So with out try outs they were on teams. I had never done anything like that, and when the other parents found out that I had no experience they were in my face, and ripped me appart, even though their girls would not have been able to participate with out my effort. Regardless, it was like I was ruining their chance for a scholarship already the girls were 11, due to my lack of experience. I thought it was for fun, and exercise, boy was I a fool. So get a yoga video, and become a yoga expert in your area, its healthier. xx Maybe your dad needs to have a son, ??????? laugh, that was a joke.

March 18, 2001
11:08 am
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GothicGirl
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My team went through the no coach thing and funny thing was it was only ONE team in the entire city which has about 40 teams total for all the ages. Well they called a meeting a parent finally agreeded to do it and this was last year and so I was well 14 what I am now. Well as 14 year olds there were like 5 of us who have been on the same team since kindergarten well yeah we haven't had the same teammates since then and well last year we felt cheated becasue the rest of the team was younger then us like 12 and 13 and we had a coach that didn't really want to be there. Well needless to say we placed last BUT we blamed the wrong people we blamed the team we were put with the fact we didn't have a coach when the season started. But in fact 5 makes about a third of the team and if us 5 would have pulled together instead of just blamed and felt sorry for our team we could have got 1st. Ok well that little story and no real point just thought I would share it.

March 19, 2001
8:48 pm
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GothicGirl
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So today track started I was all excited and glad that they let me join late but also super nervous. I screwed up A TON!!!! And well I am not very good. Well thats not even the worst part for warm up we were running and I could feel my arch in my bad foot just like falling and it HURTS SO BAD!!! I have to go back to the orthopedic surgen now and I really don't want to cause I want to finish out track SO bad I don't want to stop the season early like I had to for basketball and swimming. I am so sick of being hte hurt one I mean last year I was in a cast for a total of 21 or so odd weeks and I don't want to go through that again I just want my foot to be better and be normal again!!!!! But enough with my whinning I g2g dig up another ice pack talk to you all later.

March 21, 2001
11:51 am
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Molly
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Darn, well you have the right attitude, and I don't blame you for being angry. Lets just hope for the best. I am sending healing energy in your direction shazammmmmmmm

March 21, 2001
9:54 pm
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GothicGirl
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So my doctor is out of town for like 2 weeks. YA!!!!! And he didn't tell me to stop or anything tell he could look at it so that means no bad news until he gets back. I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!! Maybe I can letter before I go see him that would be the best!!! Well I better go talk to ya all later.

March 22, 2001
4:54 pm
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Molly
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Just be smart about it.

March 22, 2001
10:27 pm
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GothicGirl
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Ok everybody so lately my health has been going to h*ll. First it was my foot well now I have broncihal infection which may not be that way if I had a normal airway but since mine is to small and immature(I don't think that's the word I am looking for) God I was so happy yo be in track and thought that MAYBE just MAYBE I could get through a year healthy and then this all crashes down on me liek what within a week. GOD!!!! Such a bad week. Well I need sleep and pain killers so I will talk to you all later.

March 23, 2001
2:53 pm
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Molly
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Well, what can I say, challenges, and opportunities. Life oh blah de. Why don't you start a new thread, ?

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