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need help am an emotional bag
March 25, 2007
3:18 pm
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trueidentity
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September 30, 2010
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I am the last in my family. I put my life of hold for everyone because that is all I know how to do. I am lonely and 35years and feel robbed of a life. I want my life back. How can i get pass the anger and hate/love. I love my family but it's not fair that they all made their lives stepping on mine to get there. I only just realised I was codependent two weeks ago. I now want to go into therapy. I can't communicate with my family to tell them how I feel. Basically they care that i am not well but not to know the they are the reason I am unwell. My sister has various health problem and all I hear from everybody is that I have to be strong for her. Unfortunately, I have nowhere to release the shock of the things she throws at me. There is always some new sickness and this is yearly. I cannot deal with them anymore. Furthermore she is married and with two kids. I understand she needs me but I am emotionally drained and she is not emotionally available for me. I am the youngest of the two and all I have done is this world is lay my life down for others. I really want to change and feel better but I don't know where to start. The only thing that is going well is my work which I enjoy but now I am an emotionally baggage in the office and if anyone can relate to this and just communicate. I will feel less alone, thanks

March 25, 2007
6:22 pm
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chakra girl
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Hi,
Trueident,

Yeh i can relate. I was always the giver in my family too. Constantly available. But this is a great start. You sound really switched on to realise that you might need therapy and sound open to exploring that. Plus you have something good in your life already (work) which is major bonus as many codependents put all their eggs in one basket... often relationships. Don't worry, hang in there and be patient - part of the process of recovery seems to be relaxing and being patient and releasing the need to have people act how you want them to. Just foucs on you. Nurture yourself. Treat yourself to something nice today so that you know your doing great just for being here and connecting.
🙂

April 2, 2007
3:51 pm
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trueidentity
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Thanks chakra girl. i am trying not to get stressed. loneliness is a horrible feeling but i will hang in there. I feel like i want to do nothing except sleep. everything becomes a chore and even those things that could make me happy i reject.

I ordered the book by melody beattie and started reading it. it is amazing how many people suffer from codependency. Even those who affect us are also codependent.

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