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nappy from TAJ
April 26, 2007
4:15 pm
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taj64
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Nappy I wanted to thank you for being there for me all this time. Im leaving as this is not the place for me at this time. You've been a fan of mine for a long time. Im happy about my decision. Im doing very well, and I even have a date this weekend, looking forward to it as this one I definately want to go out with. He is just my type physically anyway and that has been long time, and he looked into my eyes, which most do not. It may work out but it might not and if it doesn't then I am ok with that as I learned a great deal about who I am and what i deserve. I do want to get to know him for real this time as in I want to know him and I want to be myself as this is not always easy to do with every person. And if I learn he is not for me, I am getting out quickly, not hang in there in case. Im not perfect but i don't have to be and I like who I am the way I am. I am on a good path. And you helped me along the way, take care my nappy angel. I will be back but to be honest, my time is over here because it is not always easy at this place and sometimes need to check out and look out for myself. and my life is about peace now and it is peaceful and I am happy and I can share it if I want to. And keep it for as long as I can. I hope you continue as you always do as I like the way you are. You're a sweet lady. I am glad of the few friends along the way.
(((Nappy)))

April 26, 2007
7:12 pm
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horsefly
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Hi taj64, I guess I am butting in this time. I read your post earlier and thought about you for awhile. I just wanted you to know that I respect you very much and although we have never talked to much one on one I trust you are making a choice that good for you. You seem like a very smart lady to me and I look forward maybe sometime to be able to gain from your knowledge. After all we both love Nappy we are make from the same seed. Love, horsefly

April 26, 2007
7:19 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Plus Taj64, I wish you the best here with your new adventure. If things get tuff, I will be here for you and you know Nappy will!! I cannot really speak for her but I know she caresvery much about you and me. Take Care and I hope to speak to you later...Love, horsefly

April 26, 2007
9:00 pm
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Loralei
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Taj, I'm butting in here, too. Just wanted you to know that I've always enjoyed your posts and feel that we see eye to eye on most stuff. I've never thought you came on too strong or were negative in any way. Some people just get their buttons pushed too easily and I really don't understand what the flap is about. The written word is too easily misinterpreted depending on the mindset of the reader.

I understand needing to take a break. I have to step away at times myself and often wonder whether this is a healthy place to be or not. Sometimes it really helps me and other times I also feel my buttons getting pushed. I just wanted you to know that I'm also a fan of yours. I hope your new date works out well for you. I wish relationships could be easier. I feel like I'm in the middle of a push-pull dance again and am sitting it out right now. But I'm doing alright and not as bothered this time around. Maybe I'm getting stronger or less codep. I'll catch you later and good luck!

April 26, 2007
9:22 pm
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taj64
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well this dude did not call me. I sent him email, nothing but to give him my phone number etc. He is really cute, definately hottie, but also obviously way younger than me. But at hot as he is, as all that he did not call me right away. And like I said earlier when a guy is interested he will call and call right away. It won't work out because Im stronger now and no matter how a guy walks and talks, it is how he treats you. A guy that really likes you and is interested, is good to you and good to you right away. I am very good right now. And I will tell you yes I do come on strong but nothing is EVER intended as hurtful or like how it comes across. Nobody ever meets 100% meeting, even best of friends. but that is the joy of friendships they are always there, even if the guy disappears. Disappointments are part of life and how you deal with them help you greatly. And I have to say it can only make you stronger. Loralei, I always like your stuff too. It is the sensitive hearts that often end up in push/pull relationships. You get some backbone and also retain strength and you can deal. Typing behind a computer is easy, interpreting is another. Those who are drama, hear drama, Those that don't, don't. This guy I have met, been really attracted to, he stands in line now behind ME! I don't care who he looks like or whatever he is. There is more to life than any guy because you have yourself. And when you have that, everything else is not so bad. I honestly feel like OK it is like house shopping, just because it looks like the right house, doesn't mean once you get inside, it is the right house. Im so happy now, found like I find some peace and sense. Im on here cuz I like Nappy so much but realize some people like you and Horsefly get me. Isn't that so great! I see Horsefly on Ladeska's thread. And I absolutley love Ladeksa's thread. And Horsefly is so amazing.

Horsefly hope you are listening.

Take care everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel free as a bird and really awesome right now.

It feels good to be alone and happy.

April 27, 2007
9:43 am
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horsefly
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Thank You Taj64 , Your post really made my day. I understand what youwrite and always appreciate the energy you put in to your writing. Another thing, I always appreciate Loralei's post too. Funny isn't some people you just stop and read what they have to say because you a interested and don't want to miss anything. Well I to not have much time to write I have big plans today and I am already late. I donnot know where are Angel Nappy is . Hope everything is ok. Thank you for posting and hope to talk to you soon, Love, horsefly

April 27, 2007
10:31 am
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taj64
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Well im on here to tell that he called and he came over and we had sex too. Not a lot of it but most of it was cuddling and kissing and we talked easily abuot 2 hours with each other alone before we started getting affectionate. And I was definatley into it and affectionate with him and I was ok with it. It has been a long time since I had sex with someone. And we hugged at the end of the night and he said he would call me. And I am not crazy over this like I was in the past with men that I was attracted to. And I was very attracted to him which has not happened in a long time and I acted on it. He had the nicest body and very built and much more handsome than I realized as when I see him at work he is in his guard/police uniform. The only problem with last night was my extra needy dog who would not let up at all and driving me crazy in trying to get his affection too. Ha. I stayed up and could have stayed up all night but he finally left around 1:00 am. I am not sure where the heck this will go but this guy is an open talker and let me talk. It might only be a hook up type relationship but sometimes that is the way it goes as long as I don't put too much feeling into it in the beginning and just enjoy the time now. And if he feels differently that he doesnt want to continue then it is ok too. And I am 43 and I did the math and he is 31. So I have to be realistic as well. But I feel good that I overcame the feeling that I would not be attracted to anyone and I feel ok to be myself without getting overinvolved. And I did not have a need to figure him out too much. He easy to read, did not feel a need to guess at him. I liked him the way he was. And most of all he is single and not attached to anyone and so am I so this is good scene for just getting to know each other. That is all I want right now, just to learn and rediscover myself in getting to know a man and not try to figure out where it will go. Just to let it be and not worry about it. I definately have some peace after a painful couple of years.

April 27, 2007
10:39 am
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soprano2
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Sorry to butt in too, Taj, but I wanted to tell you that I have all of the respect for you in the world.

I don't start my own posts on here very often, I usually type on other posts, so you haven't really posted to me in a while (in the beginning you did, and it was very helpful, thank you).

I hope that you continue with great strength on your path of healthiness. You have learned many lessons in life (that is very clear in your advice and postings).

All the best for you. Hope to catch up to you on that road at some point, right now, I am far behind, but I am definitely heading in the right direction at least.

s2

April 27, 2007
10:48 am
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taj64
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Hi Soprano. Thank you so much for the compliment. I have to admit I have not been typing as much to others as I used to. I would not say I am ahead of the game or anything and you never know what happens next. But I feel I deserve peace in life even if it means being alone and walking alone. It was painful to be alone for a long time and now it is not. And funny someone comes along out of the blue. This guy i work with, he has been at my work for 3 years and I am now just noticing him???? I noticed him noticing me. He told me it was my butt that got him noticed. My butt alone has gotten me many dates and stares but that is ok, if that is where it is at then so be it. I happen to like my hair the best and I have nice eyes too. But I am also 43 and slowing down and not as fit as I used to be and believe me it is ok with me too. Life is never perfect believe me it is how you deal with it and I was not dealing with it, just living in hurt land all the time. But hurt fades, it does, so if you hurt you have to let it hurt, let it ride out even if it feels like forever, it does let up. Eventually it lets up and then something new happens. But you have to allow it all to happen. And not let those in that continue to hurt you and not take it. Take care, i wanted everyone out there to know, I had a hottie over my house last night :). Strange I have no problem attracting much younger men. This is not the first one way younger than me, it is one of several. I totally wish I cuold find a guy my own age but most of the ones my ages are messed up!!! Take care everyone.

April 27, 2007
10:52 am
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soprano2
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You probably gave me the best advice on here at the beginning. You told me to stop having a pity party for myself.

I try very hard not to get dragged into pity parties or dramas. They are all around me now, and I see them.

Just trying to get the pieces of life together one at a time.

Yeah for you for having a "hottie" at your house.

April 27, 2007
11:02 am
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nappy
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Dear Taj,

My friend, My friend. I am so happy for you.
This is a HIGH FIVE for you for finding the peace that you so much deserve in your life.
Let me first start off by saying that you have truly been a friend to me. You are a very special person in my life and I do thank god for finding this site because if I didn't I wouldn't have met such a wonderful person.
I'm am very glad that you have found a person that you can connect with. I see the strength in you that I see in myself. And it is a strength to where when you walk, your head is held high and no matter what happen in our life, we have the strength to continue and walk even through the pain.
Isn't it wonderful to find that peace to where you don't have that fear. It is a wonderful feeling and I am glad that you are sharing that with me. Because when I found it I was sharing it with everybody. And they seen it too. (smile)
Enjoy yourself with this person. Get a chance to know him and let him get a chance to know you. Why wouldn't he want to be with such a wonderful lady. Be yourself because you can't be no other and hold your life in your hands, because then you will know how much to hand over to him when you want to.
And there is nothing wrong by expressing yourself with this man, if he fit, then fit with him well. (smile..................)
My friend, please don't leave. Please continue to shine on here, please continue to be my friend.
I am a true believer of god, and I do have faith, and I do believe that everything does happen for a reason and I truly believe that god brought us together as friends.

Get back with me when you have a chance and how are the kids doing?
Your friend and love
Nappy!

April 27, 2007
11:08 am
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nappy
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I guess I was writing when you responsed to the post but girlfriend, 43 is a beautiful number. And if you got it then, you got it going on. (smile)
I guess the hardest part is walking through the pain but we all have to do it one time or another and it is a beautiful feeling when you get to the other side. Life is to short to be sad all the time, sitting there feeling sorry for one self. Life means to live and to live it well. Some people lives like they have more then one life but I hate to tell them that they only have ONE.
So that is why I make the most of my life and I see that you are to.
I am so happy for you. You have made my day!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nappy

April 27, 2007
5:53 pm
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Honolulugal
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Hi Taj!!

Woohoooooo!!!!!

Good for you, woman! He sounds neato to me. Don't freak about the age. If he acts like a man and is built like one (as you say he is), that's all that counts, IMO.

You have a refreshingly down to earth way of viewing the future, too. Not stressing. What works, works. Enjoy, that's the main thing.

You had fun, right? Killer, I just love that. Cheers to YOU!!!!!

TGIF,

H-gal

April 27, 2007
10:54 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Dear Taj64, Like I have said before I trust you are a smart lady and are aware. I am proud for you to be trying things out. Who says we are sentenced to being lonely? NOBODY . Good for you and have some fun. If these are not good than what the heck, you have your head on your shoulders , plus you always have us. Nothing ventured - nothing gained. Just letting you know I think itis great. MuchLove, horsefly

April 28, 2007
7:49 am
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taj64
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Well the guy never call me yesterday...nothing. He will call but by the time he calls I will have already been disappointed. He was off work yesterday. So was I. He could have called but he did not take a minute to call. And when a call does not call you, then that means he is not interested in pursuing you. He will call though, when he wants that booty call. Well I have now lumped in "that" category. And now that I have I am not interested in him. I did have fun for the one night but it is over and I go on. there was one red flag I paid attention to and that was that he has a "girl" friend, one that where he has an open relationship but he told me they have an understanding that they are single and can go out with others and I cannot deny I don't really like that as I am a one person type even casual relationships and I am one-on-one. So I have to "next" this guy. I will have to see him at work so I will be polite and just go on. Of course I am disappointed right now but when they don't call you, that means they are not interested. And I am accepting of this and go on to other things. I will try to be back on with advice and other and try not to be as harsh but I cannot stand it when I see others pursuing and hurting over guys that just are not into them and what they deserve. Being lonely at times is better than chasing some dream that won't come true. You have to go out there and find a dream that won't hurt you. One that is good, one that where you are ok with you and yourself. People do change and everyone can if they truly want to. If something is not right in your life, do something about it. It might be frustrating, it might be hard but sitting around and moping and doing nothing get nothing accomplished. Take the baby steps if you have to. And don't ever give up. This guy, he was short-lived, a one-night stand as it was, but that does not mean I cannot sit here and stew about feeling slightly rejected. It will pass and Im getting off here now to get busy. I am having an open house for my townhome today and I have been rather sick with allegeries,feel horrible but life goes on and all that will pass too. Life is always lessons and you attract what you are inside. Lately been lonely and off guard and that is what happened I met someone who is off guard and had not had sex in a few months. And since I am still finding myself, this is what I attract, someone who won't stay around. Im still searching, still trying to overcome the low self esteem and though I have gained some back, I still struggle and I just have faith that I will overcome it. It will come.

April 28, 2007
10:24 am
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Taj, I have fiugurd out what it is that attracts people to you. It is your honesty. You are honest with yourself . So you knew you were after a good time and had one. You also knew the risks and now you might be somewhat disappointed you are dealing with it. Atleast you are honest to yourself about it. MAybe you are honest with others and they have a hard time being honest withthemselves? I don't know for sure, but I lied to myself for years and years trying to stay in a relationship that was a piece of shit. Nobody could tell me that. Until I was ready to nip it I wasn't being honest at all....That is true about given up anything that we are addicted to. We make excuses for ourselves......People are scared of honest and people who speak the truth. Sometimes there is just no sugar coating it. I for one appreciate your honesty. I don't think you or any of us are above not being hurt again, but being aware is so important. And you willing probably meet sombody (when the time is right) that is worthy of you. Your Friend, horsefly

April 29, 2007
3:12 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Hi Taj, Just checking to see if you are still around? I have been busy the past few days and just wondered how you were doing. Love, horsefly

April 30, 2007
11:58 am
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nappy
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Taj, My friend. I would hate to see you leave this site but I will understand if you do.
You my friend, is a beautiful person and I do know that if you stay on the right track in being happy, your happiness will come and there will be a shining light.
Sometimes my friend, we have to kiss a lot of frog before we decide that this is the one. Just have your fun in life because people are going to be who they are anyway whether they are good or bad. It is just a shame that there are some bad one's out there but the only way we are going to know is to get out there and to know what is right for us. It is our choice now now there's.
If this is a person that you work with, I would go on about my business at work just like he is not even there. It is not he had fun with you, it is more like you had fun WITH him. (smile) And I bet the more you act like you don't see him, the more he is going to be coming into your face trying to get you to notice him.
You are a wonderful woman, let your self shine in the light that you are suppose to be in. And if he didn't work out so far as being a friend, then just go on with your life.
Your friend,
Nappy!

April 30, 2007
5:15 pm
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taj64
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Hello. This guy ended up being a frog and an ugly one at that. I did the typical sit around and mope and anticipate the call that never came. So I called him and he was casual and even made plans with his sister. Things got worse I hate to admit but I sent him a very short email and now it is over. I now have to see him on my way in and today was awkward but I did better than I expected. I did not buy his story on his girlfriend where they have mutual decision to see other people so I decided I did not want that for myself. I told him we could be acquaintenances and that was it. He was giving me the run around and therefore he cannot be my friend as friends don't do that to their friends. What are we back in high school? My weekend was a bit depressing but I ended up having a good time last night with neighbors. And I turned this one over rather quickly. I had an instinct over this one as I paid attention to meaning and his emotional state. He was insecure yet tried to act like nothing bothered him. I could see underneath it all. And I am not attracted to that type anymore based on experience. I actually felt relieved today about it. I could see some old behaviors coming out and I changed it around. How's everyone else today?

April 30, 2007
7:54 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Hi Taj ! You know what ? Life just pisses me straigh off. I am just lying around like a zombie and all for what ? Sure I am taking care of myself but I am not having much fun. I should fix myself up and go out an have fling or two myself. Why not? I have never had pa problem attracting anyone. That is not the reason, I just think I never should just hang around everyday thinking I am mentally or emotionally going to get cured. I am just pissed. I bet my ex-retarded man is not home mourning or licking his wounds. I can count on that. I don't know I think I will just have to go a few places and venture out and stop staying in one place and expecting things to change. horsefly

May 1, 2007
10:41 am
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nappy
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Good Morning Taj, and Horsefly

Taj, I am very happy to hear that you didn't stay in the sad moment for to long. Yes, this guy was an ass and you may have to still see him at work but everytime you think that you are going to see him, I would be shining. I would past him by like I don't even see him. And if you have to put that sway in your walk then girlfriend sway on. There is a lot of ugly frogs out there but this is where you will be able to choose and this is where you are going to know exactly what you want in life and to not except anything less. I keep telling you that you are a beautiful woman.

Horsefly, you are also a beautiful woman. You are smart and you have a lot going on with yourself. Fix your self up if that is going to make you feel good about yourself then go for it. Take the time for yourself. I told you that I just love to dress up and even on my worst days, I still shine.

Life does not just stand still, it keep moving and I feel that we are all god children and that we will shine in his presence. Both of you are special womens in my life now. And it is a blessing to be among you to and that we all have a very special strength that will get us through life. See I realize that I am not going to be stuck in no depression, no sadness and I'm sure not going to let anyone else make me feel like I'm crazy, I might make them crazy but I am going to keep my mind (smile)
You womens get back with me and I hope that you both are having a bless day today. Today is May 1
Nappy!

May 1, 2007
3:39 pm
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nappy
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Taj, I hope that you read the post before this one also. I hope that everything is well with you today.
I also hope that everything is alright with you also.
Nappy!

May 1, 2007
6:56 pm
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taj64
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Sorry I have not written. Im laying low. There is not much to say except that I am getting past this. I made a mistake with this one. Please don't think it is ok to go out and have sex with someone. I know that usually I feel pretty good about it until the guy's real intentions are revealed. Then I feel rather stupid about it. But I was honest this time and I was honest with him and played no games and even with that, he still played one. You're right he was an ass. But when I do walk by him, I know where I stand and it is between us and he knows the truth. Im sure it means nothing to him. Anyway I did not see him today and ok I was glad. Im sure this will all pass.

May 1, 2007
7:38 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Tai64, This too shall pass. That is all I have got to say. Some days are just plain crappy. All we can do is try. Sure we make mistakes but I respect you very much and don't let any man take that away from you. You know the old song "Respect Yourself". Love, horsefly

May 2, 2007
12:31 pm
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nappy
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Taj, how are you today sweetheart. I hope also that you are having a bless day.
Don't think for one minute that you are stupid for having sex with this guy. Girlfriend, you are human and you is not dead yet to where you don't have any feeling. Please.......
At least it was for some one that you had some sort of feeling for. It wasn't like you just pick up a guy and had sex with. No way girlfriend should you feel sad, bad, or any of those terrible feeling. I bet he is not feeling like that, nor should you. It was something that happen and I hope that you enjoyed yourself with the time that you had with him, just like he did.
You will get past this. This is just a minute of your life that you will leave behind.
Get back with me when you have a chance.
Nappy!

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