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Myself
June 9, 2000
10:53 pm
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janes
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Well... I always tell my dumb ugly friends they are beautiful and smart.

Just joking.

Why in the world would they lie to you?

Why in the world would you want to believe bad things about yourself. Sounds like self abuse to me!

You don't have to get into personal issues here at all but you had better examine those personal issues or you will continue in your present mode.

There are lots of good self help books and lots of good therapist who can help you with the self esteem issues when you are really good and tired of having low self esteem.

You can change it. But the changes are up to you.

Trust your friends...and seek help.

June 10, 2000
6:54 pm
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Spirit
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Butterfly: Only you can make yourself believe the truth. Stop being critical of YOU and embrace YOU. There are enough people in this world to pick on each of us, why should we make it easy for them??... Love and like yourself, everythingelse falls into place. That's not to say you should become selfcentered; rather, you should center your self. Quiet your mind of negatives and peace will flow.

June 12, 2000
1:46 pm
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sweetiepie
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Right now it is time for me to give my personal advice. I was in the same situation as you were and now I am a changed person. I do little exercises a day that make me feel so important in this world. I have read all the books, but this came from the heart. Everyday when I go to work I write down things that I think of. For example, negative thoughts, positive thought and actions. Even anger. After I write them down a couple of minutes later I look back at it and say why do I feel that way. I have realized most of that is so silly. I used to have low self-esteem. I came out of a bad relationship were he wanted me to be the perfect girl and if I didn't he would try some way to make sure I felt bad about it. Also, the way you show yourself reflects from your friends and family. My husband is the most positive person and he makes me feel like a million bucks. I love myself now. I used to not. I have goals and dreams. Take time out for yourself. Get to know you and feel great!

Trust me. I have been through it all. Remember your friends will always be there.

June 12, 2000
5:41 pm
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guest_guest
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sweetiepie i just wanted to know...
how old are u now, how long since u been married, what was your childhood like, what were your parents like.

i mean anything u can tell us about what happened to you in ur childhood, your history, what kind of problems u had because of them, when did u realize u had problems, and when u started to work on them, and what you did to make thigns better.
so that we can form the relationship between the problems u had the things u did to correct them.
sorry for so many questions! thanks!

June 15, 2000
11:12 am
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sweetiepie
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Hello guest_guest. How are you? Well, first don't feel bad about asking me to many questions. I am 20 years old. (Yes, I know I am young!) I was dating this guy for a couple of months who just was not good for me. He was so negative and had no confidence. So, I thought I was so in love and I didn't realize all of this. It was great in the beginning and then he thought he can start controlling me and doing this behind my back. I was going to school at the time. I went a Business School and meet some wonderful people. Most of them were much older than I was and was experienced. One day I went to lunch with some of them and they told me how much I have changed. How I was happy anymore and I wasn't myself. I was always a strong student at school and going through this I worked harder.

All of this lead to think twice. Why am I with this person? What can he do for me? I am not happy. He wanted me to be somebody I wasn't or turn me into something I didn't want to be. When you are with someone you are supposed to be happy and think, is this someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?

Well, the week before all of this came down. Before I talked to the ladies. I went to his cousins house in PA. There was this cute Asian boy there who just won my heart. I really could do anything and I am not the type of person to cheat on someone. He saw how much I wasn't happy and cheered me up. When it was time to leave I got his number.

We started e-mailing each other everyday. When I had the conversation with the girls I knew the relationship was going to be over. So, I told him good bye. Shortly after that, the guy that I am married to now, we started dating. It was very hard for him to adjust and he knew that I just got out of a awful relationship.

He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. First, my parents love him. They hated the other. He keeps me involved with my parents. My ex put negative thoughts in my head about them. My relationship with my parents have improved and we get along. I have more confidence in myself. I love me. He doesn't try to change me. He only trys to make me a better person. He is 10 years older than I am and he the best! I feel number one is his life. He would die for me. He is there to support me with what ever I do. Tells me that I am pretty and he can't live without me. He is the best too. He is cute, funny and loveable. We have a lot of the same interest. We both love cars!

We just loved to Georgetown and that was the best thing for me. I am still trying to make new friends and I started this really cool job with a great company. I am much happier now. I feel really lucky to be a live and love the life that I have. I am young, happy, grateful, beautiful, in love and have my health and family! You can't ask for anything more.

I know that anyone can do this. It takes time. You change over night, but you can start now!

Well, that is the summary of me! Lets just say my friends from school is the best of me and I love to shine.

June 15, 2000
11:17 am
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sweetiepie
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SORRY FOR ALL THE MISSING WORDS AND MISSPELLED WORDS!

=)

June 15, 2000
4:23 pm
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guest_guest
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that was cool ..
*sigh* ... may u always be happy, what can i say!

June 15, 2000
10:20 pm
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Beautiful
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Just be positive with whatever you do! Be the best you, you can be. You live once. Live it up! I am! I took me a long time to love myself and have self-esteem, but I did for me! Don't let anyone bring you down. Just remember you are better than them!

June 15, 2000
10:35 pm
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guest_guest
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beautiful plzzz give some information about urself which might be helpful. how old are u, what problems u were facing before, why u were facing them (old abuse?), what you did to solve the problems and how long each phase of ur life has lasted. thanks for ur feedback!

June 29, 2000
9:18 pm
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raindropspirit1
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I am not an expert but I have recently come to understand this simple truth...
I am not a child anymore. So who is it that is calling me those names? Who is calling you names? Not my parents, husband or siblings. I am the one putting myself down. I have to learn to take responsibility for this action. I can not limit my life (choices) by how others have labeled, neglected or abused me in the past. I also learned something rare and precious. That feelings are just feelings and they can just be felt and not acted upon. So when I have a happening that causes me to have a thought and then I begin to feel things, I can choose to let it drive me crazy. I can ponder and worry over it. I can over eat or I can just let it pass, without being compulsive or calling myself names. When I am experiencing uncomfortable feelings that make me feel "bad" about myself I just go into my room and light candles, listen to music, write in my journel... just anything to help me get in touch with these feelings. The more you spend time a lone the more you can work these things out. I hope this helps. Have good day.

July 2, 2000
4:56 pm
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msloris
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raindrop, does being alone REALLY work for you? How'd you discover that? I feel like I'm expected to be doing something at ALL times for someone else. I feel selfish if I try to take some time for myself. I'm not saying anything bad about you, don't think that! I'm NOT. I just don't know how to stop feeling like I'm never up to my obligations to others - I hate myself totally but I'd LOVE to spend sometime with ME, if I knew who "ME" was.

July 2, 2000
11:37 pm
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holly2001
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September 24, 2010
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Butterfly,
I am "older" (almost 30!!Augh) and have dealt with self esteem issues all my life. I have done everything to "fit in" with the people I thought were the "right ones", including MEN. For me, the key was realizing that I don't NEED anybody to make me successful or a failure. I thought I needed "best friends" or a "man" to be a real person, but now I see that in order to be fully "me" I can look to only ME. Every person has their talents and strong points, no matter how meek they may seem. What are yours? Can you write? Do math? Cook? Understand animals? Whatever it is, you know it in your heart and you have to let it "become". It is your real self, and it's just waiting until you are brave enough to develop it fully. Don't waste your time molding your life (choice of schools, job, friends, music, etc, etc,) just to fit in with some guy. Guys are lucky in that they don't try to mold to girls, they just do their things and the women just "show up" for them. You have to do your own thing, screw the guys, and be selfish for awhile. It's more attractive than you think. If you are "yourself" totally, people will naturally be drawn to you and want to be a part of "your world" instead of you always wanting to be part of somebody else's world. Be YOU and don't be afraid of being alone. Even if you are on your own for awhile, it can be very rewarding and you can learn alot about yourself and the world. Listen to NPR on the radio, get in tune with world events, follow your "dreams" (gut instincts, felt since you were little) and try to make them happen. You owe it to yourself to say "f-you" to those people who would try to shape, change, judge, force, influence, demean, belittle, subtract from YOU...
from,
a budding "youist".

July 17, 2000
11:29 pm
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DONNIE
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I thought maybe my attitude has just gotten really bad. But maybe I am budding. I am tired of trying to be everything to everybody because of my lack of faith in myself and my own ideas. I do realize I am a good person with a good heart and I don't want to change who I am anymore to please others. mainly my husband and his family whom I never seem to be good enough for. However as you read in my other letters in other threads I think I have now decided he's lucky to have me. Let them change for a while, or ship out. I now have friends that I never had before. I have many aquaintances but I have a few friends now that I feel I can count on for almost anything If I needed it. And I feel the same about them. I love them with all my heart I was raised to not trust people and it was hard for me to let go. I might get disappionted sometimes but I have found If you can love people the ones that love back are worth keeping and love you just like you are with all your imperfections. The ones that don't well....they can keep searching for what they are missing. It's their loss.

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