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My therapy -RW
May 30, 2006
12:54 am
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Randomwomen2
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People react to therapy in a lot of diffrent ways. I started therapy when I was 13 right after the abuse and I had a horrible counsler. She was trying to teach me adult child rolls instead of teaching me to love myself. I saw her for about a year board to death I think at that time I actualy hated her.I have seen so many counslers its not really help full when your counsler acts stunned by what you tell her. I had that happen with all of mine. My last 2 counslers were my bigest help. Not the one that I currently have but the one before had me imagine that the child that I once was was in the room with me telling me about all the abuse that had happend. That is when it actualy hit me that it wasnt my fault I had spend 9 years with counslers that didnt do squat for me but she got to the meat of it. It had been the first time I had cried durring a counsleing session ever. When that session was over I was really relived. Now something that happens sometimes is that you can go through a session with no feelings at least not that you know off and sometimes it hits you in the middle of the week. See I had a big problem with that most of the time I felt nothing durring my sessions but it really did a number on me later. But that realization that I had is really what set me on the path to healing. Is a wonderful excersize to do.

May 30, 2006
1:16 am
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on my way
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RW,,,thanks for sharing this about yourself. Maybe the delayed reaction was how you dealt with the pain in the past to not feel the pain as well. Almost like auto-pilot or numbing the pain...you are so awesome though, you have so much to look forward to in your life.
hugs,
omw

May 30, 2006
1:31 am
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cpt1212
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thanks rw,

i can definately relate to the delayed reaction thing. i think it is because there is some much going on in therapy and the time is so short that it takes some time to sink in when you have a quiet moment with yourself.

i just don't know how to say the words. i envision them as being so powerful. it is probably because i have not yet come to the point you described of really understanding it is not your fault. i feel it is a judgement on me, even though i know intellectually it is not, but it definately feels that it is directly tied to my worth. thank you for sharing i may reach out to you again as i go thru this if that is okay with you.

May 30, 2006
1:48 am
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Randomwomen2
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of course its alright hunny. I am always willing to share and help. There is a big diffrence from knowing something with your mind and knowing something with your heart.

May 30, 2006
6:30 am
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smarterone
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Therapy is also more effective with maturity and experience. Something finally clicks.

May 30, 2006
11:01 am
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Randomwomen2
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Yes thats absolutly true I had to be ready before I could start to feel better

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