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my symptoms
September 13, 2005
6:11 pm
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Mariko
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September 24, 2010
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i am going to outline some of the things that i go through when i am dealing with a bout of my codependant self:

1. need to know 100% the relatioship is ok
i need answers yesterday whenever we have a fight

2, the "knot"
i get this tense not in my stomach while i am waiting to hear if everything is ok. NOTHING will relieve this tension in my gut except knowing that things are ok. i tend to automatically assume the worst in any situation. i assume that i am goiing to be abandoned always.. assume that hiroka hates me or has no desire to tlak ot me

3.) communication compulsion:

my inability to wait for a resposnse, i will call or Im over and over and over until i get a response.. its all i can think about.. it consumes me,. even when i get out of the house,, i enver truly get far away enough form it. right now i am thinking of calling her and get the answer i so desperately need when i just called an hour ago and she wasnt there..

these are the methods of my madness and i hate these most of all.. it makes it so i cannot go to work or to sleep.. i have had days when i have had a fight with hiroka and called out of work becuase i havent known that things are ok hyet.. i know that isnt normal and that it isnt ok to feel so intensely over things..

i need some help.. some advice on how to fight these urges.. as i almost always cave in to them.

September 14, 2005
9:04 am
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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take a deep breathe, relax and understand that alot of things are "out of your control" ....and you cannot have all the answers here and now...try to be patient.

Do you have any interests or hobbies??
Try to put more focus on them.

Also, if something "consumes" you, just say the word "stop"...it sometimes helps me. Take deep breaths......and try not to force things to happen, be patient!!!

I hope this helped you

(((camer)))

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