Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
my step daughter made me see it
October 1, 2004
9:41 am
Avatar
boogielady
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am new to this site and realized how many people are codep., my step daughter told me about it and so I started reading the signs and it amazes me that all my life (am 42 years old)I never sensed anything was wrong with me. I thought it was normal that I feel like I was born to please everyone and to walk on eggshells all my life. The problem is not within my marriage it is with other people around me in my life. The bad people who take advantage of my goodness, because I can never tell anyone no, or let anyone know what I really feel about a situation just because I don't want to upset anyone. I always want to feel like the savior. Expressing myself and my true feelings I know is a start but am not sure how. I would like some advice with anyone about how to start making a change in my life and how to control my anxiety when someone upsets me. Thanks for listening.

October 1, 2004
10:23 am
Avatar
fairy99
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

boogielady

Welcome. I am 44 and was codep for years and never knew it. Like you I thought I was supposed to put myself last and everyone else first. It's a hard habit to break but it can be done, I did it. Once I realized what was wrong I just began with one step at a time. I talked to the people I love in my life and told them everything I was feeling. I told them that I was no longer a door mat to be wiped upon and that if they couldn't appreciate me then they knew where the door was. I learned to do for me, even the little things like a long hot quiet bath with no interuptions, time alone to just reflect or just a walk with the dogs. Putting yourself first is so hard but if you don't do for you then somewhere in there you loose yourself and you have become what everyone else wants, their slave, whether its phycially, spiritually, or emotionally. There is alot of books to help with co-dep and this site is the best. There are people here who are caring and understanding and know first hand how you feel. Stay with us and welcome. You'll get some great support here. Keep your chin up. HUGS.

~~fairy~~

October 1, 2004
12:52 pm
Avatar
kathygy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

What takes care of my anxiety in those situations is standing up for myself. Telling the person how I feel. If I don't like what they said I say so.

October 8, 2004
8:28 am
Avatar
boogielady
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks so much for replying, Im sorry I haven't been able to reply back, my husband and I bought a house and have been in the process of moving. It has been very traumatic on my nerves. I never want to do this again, I am getting to old for this. Anyway, I have started making some changes in my life and will no longer be a doormat for other people. My husband says that I tend to let people run all over me, and that I'm too nice to some people that I shouldn't even worry about. He is the exact opposite of me, he always speaks his mind. He has been a good teacher about speaking up for myself. (We have only been married for 2 years) I know that this is a habit, one that will be hard to break because I have did it for so many years. I have made it my life style just so others would like me. I tend to worry constantly what others think of me. I know my first step is to like myself. And to like myself and how I view the world is going to be a stepping stone for me. I have set some goals for my self and my first goal is to love myself. I have been reading so much about this and cannot believe how I have only been hurting myself. I have forgotten me. So my road to recovery with codependency is going to be long and narrow road but I am confident with the support here and the support of my husband, I can conquer this. Thanks again for your support and I hope that we all can learn something from this and over come it.

October 8, 2004
8:33 am
Avatar
dire straits
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Mon dieu!

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
29
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110922
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38536
Posts: 714207
Newest Members:
Corties, patrickstayes, kevinkovalsky, izzy39, RoyFollman, kevin021
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer